Doesn't sound like a sensory issue to me and doesn't seem out-of-the-ordinary for a kid this age to have a tantrum about this. Mine is 5.5 and still fights me about clothes on and off. It's very normal among other kids I've seen this age.

How often does he need to dress up? Can you relax the rules a little? If you go to a place of worship, I'm guessing that's the frequent time when you need him to dress up a bit. Could you relax the rules a bit and get him into something clean and neat but not necessarily "dressy"?

I like the idea of having him control it by picking something out together. If it's a matter of things being uncomfortable (which I understand!), then maybe he can pick out a cute pair of dressy-looking soft pants and a soft button-up shirt. The "I don't want people to see me in it" is interesting and should be further probed -- maybe as one PP suggested, it's due to people giving him (good but annoying?) attention when he's dressed up?

I agree with the poster who suggested letting him have some say in what he wears. He is very young so i might choose two and no more than three outfits for him to choose from. You might even tell him which one you like best and why. Then give him his chance to choose.

NP. My son hates buttons. We found nicer pants that had an elastic waist and we let him pick out a nice shirt that he liked. He never threw tantrums, but it was a pita for the two or threee times he needed to dress nicely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What dressier occasions? Are you sure people care?

Do the khaki options you own have elastic waists or does he have to deal with a button?

He's 4, so this will pass, and I would say to only make him wear "dressy" clothes that are really comfortable for now.

For me, I don't really care if other people care. I care, that's enough for me. We do really limit these occasions. But think family pictures session, occasional church events, and this upcoming wedding!! He is the ring bearer, he's not wearing sweats.

The khakis we have are all elastic waist.

Are you putting him in super uncomfortable clothes? I know to you in seems "silly" but,there must be a way to dress him nicely and comfortable. Does he have to be the ring bearer? Does he even have to go? I mean he is four/five and weddings aren't exactly important in his life! He won't even remember it so I would get a baby sitter and save yourself the battle.

NP here, but you don’t back out of agreeing your kid will be the ring bearer over this, and it’s not all about the kid and what he likes, wants, or remembers. Some things are for the family, or practicality, etc.

Are you kidding me? People back out all the time! Look at all the past threads about the maids/maidens of honor who have to decline because they are pregnant and going to give birth two weeks after said wedding! Is the four year old that important? You don't even need a ring bearer. Give the ring to the best man and have him hand it over. Four year olds don't care about weddings and anyone who cares that a four year old backed out is really the four year old.

This is not the hill to die on!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What dressier occasions? Are you sure people care?

Do the khaki options you own have elastic waists or does he have to deal with a button?

He's 4, so this will pass, and I would say to only make him wear "dressy" clothes that are really comfortable for now.

For me, I don't really care if other people care. I care, that's enough for me. We do really limit these occasions. But think family pictures session, occasional church events, and this upcoming wedding!! He is the ring bearer, he's not wearing sweats.

The khakis we have are all elastic waist.

Are you putting him in super uncomfortable clothes? I know to you in seems "silly" but,there must be a way to dress him nicely and comfortable. Does he have to be the ring bearer? Does he even have to go? I mean he is four/five and weddings aren't exactly important in his life! He won't even remember it so I would get a baby sitter and save yourself the battle.

NP here, but you don’t back out of agreeing your kid will be the ring bearer over this, and it’s not all about the kid and what he likes, wants, or remembers. Some things are for the family, or practicality, etc.

He may do it when he is older. At that age, my son did polo's only because they were Under Armor with that kind of fabric and he wanted to look like Dad. He's 9 now and we recently had a wedding. I told him Dad is wearing a suit and will he as he never wore one and he did. I think its a comfort and what he is used to issue. It gets easier as they get older for some kids. I wouldn't force it. Maybe nice cords and a plain teeshirt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What dressier occasions? Are you sure people care?

Do the khaki options you own have elastic waists or does he have to deal with a button?

He's 4, so this will pass, and I would say to only make him wear "dressy" clothes that are really comfortable for now.

For me, I don't really care if other people care. I care, that's enough for me. We do really limit these occasions. But think family pictures session, occasional church events, and this upcoming wedding!! He is the ring bearer, he's not wearing sweats.

The khakis we have are all elastic waist.

Are you putting him in super uncomfortable clothes? I know to you in seems "silly" but,there must be a way to dress him nicely and comfortable. Does he have to be the ring bearer? Does he even have to go? I mean he is four/five and weddings aren't exactly important in his life! He won't even remember it so I would get a baby sitter and save yourself the battle.

I would show him pictures of boys his age at weddings. "We're going to a wedding. This is how you're expected to dress. I understand you dislike putting on clothes like this. Do you have another idea of how you could look appropriate for a wedding?" See what he says.