This is really interesting to me. I have 4 kids, 3 of whom have been RAs at their school. The general policy at all of their schools is that unless you are basically inviting us to get involved (e.g. drinking in the open areas of the dorm, falling over drunk, being belligerent, people complaining about the party noise coming from your room, pot smells seeping into hallway)...the RAs/staff won't go looking for alcohol/drugs. Do you know what the circumstances behind this incident were, OP? And even then, unless there are other violations (e.g. emergency management having to be called, property destruction, etc.) you're just written up and have to pay a fine ($$$ varies by school). If it happens again...that's when things can get a bit hairy but the first violation is generally not a huge deal. I think they realize that half the campus would get suspended in a year if they cited every time they saw underage drinking or a beer can in a room.

Or...does your son go to a super religion/strict shcool like Liberty?

Canada

Anonymous wrote:My son had a similar incident. He was very drunk in the dorm. He fell down and hit his head. Campus security and paramedics came when police came. He was resistant to their care. He was belligerent. He ended up in ER.

His consequences have been severe. He was not allowed back into his dorm. They did agree to let him move to a different dorm but he doesn't want that so he is living back home. He had to give apologies to staff involved. He had to attend alcohol counselling.

He also has been told that he is banned from campus pubs permanently. This didn't happen in a campus pub. He is 18 and the legal age of drinking here where we live is 19. They also said he cannot ever have a drink on campus. Am i wrong in thinking these consequences are too harsh? These consequences will last 4 years. We are thinking of appealing this on principle.

Where do you live that the drinking age is 19?

PP again. Sorry to highjack.
Would you appeal?

My son had a similar incident. He was very drunk in the dorm. He fell down and hit his head. Campus security and paramedics came when police came. He was resistant to their care. He was belligerent. He ended up in ER.

His consequences have been severe. He was not allowed back into his dorm. They did agree to let him move to a different dorm but he doesn't want that so he is living back home. He had to give apologies to staff involved. He had to attend alcohol counselling.

He also has been told that he is banned from campus pubs permanently. This didn't happen in a campus pub. He is 18 and the legal age of drinking here where we live is 19. They also said he cannot ever have a drink on campus. Am i wrong in thinking these consequences are too harsh? These consequences will last 4 years. We are thinking of appealing this on principle.

Anonymous wrote:An FYI but pot in the dorm room equals at least a semester suspension. Don't ask me how I know.

That's going to vary by college but that is an insanely harsh punishment for a small amount of pot. Pot has basically been decriminalized in most parts of this country.

Was it university police or state/city police? At a lot of schools university police will refer he student to their student conduct committee

An FYI but pot in the dorm room equals at least a semester suspension. Don't ask me how I know.

How did the police become involved?

OP I would be far more concerned about how your son was caught than I would be about his having alcohol in the room. Virtually everyone drinks but I don't recall a single instance of anyone being caught where the consequences were even remotely severe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I do not condone illegal drinking, law is law, I really wish that with the super rightist President, finally some common sense will prevail and drinking age will become 18. (If nothing else positive will ever happen...)It truly boggles my mind that you can vote, own a gun, go fight in the military, but can't have a beer. IMO, this is exactly what is causing students to drink.

Yep. I agree and I don't condone underage drinking either.

I agree. But I also think the driving age should go up to 22, with an exception for those who need it for work before then.

I also do not condone underage drinking. I think that the drinking age should be lowered to 18 and the driving age should remain the same that it is now. There is no reason on earth that a HS graduate should be waiting until the age of 22 to drive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I do not condone illegal drinking, law is law, I really wish that with the super rightist President, finally some common sense will prevail and drinking age will become 18. (If nothing else positive will ever happen...)It truly boggles my mind that you can vote, own a gun, go fight in the military, but can't have a beer. IMO, this is exactly what is causing students to drink.

Yep. I agree and I don't condone underage drinking either.

I agree. But I also think the driving age should go up to 22, with an exception for those who need it for work before then.

Oh hell no. 22 is ridiculous. We are a very car-dependent society. No effing way does it make sense to have adults waiting until 22 to drive.

I got my license on my 16th birthday, and not a moment later. Never a single accident, either.

My D was caught at a Virginia school. She had to meet with one of the deans and ended up with a warning. I can't remember the what the consequences would have been if there were a second incident.

That said, I think most kids have alcohol int their rooms. They did 30 years ago when I was in college and they do now. I'm certainly not saying it's good, but it's the reality. I didn't drink much in college and still don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I do not condone illegal drinking, law is law, I really wish that with the super rightist President, finally some common sense will prevail and drinking age will become 18. (If nothing else positive will ever happen...)It truly boggles my mind that you can vote, own a gun, go fight in the military, but can't have a beer. IMO, this is exactly what is causing students to drink.

Yep. I agree and I don't condone underage drinking either.

I agree. But I also think the driving age should go up to 22, with an exception for those who need it for work before then.

if you can go to war and DIE, I think you should be able to drive a car and to drink (not at the same time, obviously).

If you raise the driving age to 22, then the enlistment age needs to go up as well.

Those who are actually going to war would be eligible for the exception I mentioned above. I don't think college students need to drive. However, the military is a decent option for those who are not college bound - raising the enlistment age would deprive those people of that option.

I am surprised the school communicated this to you without your DC granting permission unless your child is under 18.