Anonymous
10/13/2017 06:33
Subject: Re:Tell me how to handle a break-up well
OP, I had a devastating break up (he dumped me--I had fallen hard, he was more on the fence/dealing with a prior break up). I did not do the "no contact' rule at first, but he would be in touch, here and there and it was KILLING me. I told him finally, no contact. that I needed to move on. I did--once I knew I would not hear/see from him, I felt better. Got more serious about some of my yoga, planned an amazing trip with friends, read a lot, and eventually started to see someone else casually.
a few months later I ran into him. He wrote me a long, long letter that night begging me to give him a second chance, saying that seeing me hit him like a ton of bricks. Explained why he did what he did, etc. Ultimately I agreed to see him, cautiously. After a few weeks of talks, etc, we got back together. But the terms were VERY different--I was the one holding the cards, in a way. He knew he had to regain my trust. He did. We got married a year later and have been together a decade now, with 2 kids.
so, I hope it works for you guys. (Another acquaintance in a simila scenario went through this--he broke up after a year, then realized he made a huge mistake, won her back, got engaged---and dumped her 3 weeks before the wedding, so it doesn't always work out.)
But here's the thing--make sure the break up produces something better. In our case, it forced my DH to confront his demons and realize that I was the best thing to ever happen to him
. For me, it gave me the strength to know that I would be fine, with or without him, and that I deserved his full commitment and should not accept less from him (or someone else).
a few months later I ran into him. He wrote me a long, long letter that night begging me to give him a second chance, saying that seeing me hit him like a ton of bricks. Explained why he did what he did, etc. Ultimately I agreed to see him, cautiously. After a few weeks of talks, etc, we got back together. But the terms were VERY different--I was the one holding the cards, in a way. He knew he had to regain my trust. He did. We got married a year later and have been together a decade now, with 2 kids.
so, I hope it works for you guys. (Another acquaintance in a simila scenario went through this--he broke up after a year, then realized he made a huge mistake, won her back, got engaged---and dumped her 3 weeks before the wedding, so it doesn't always work out.)
But here's the thing--make sure the break up produces something better. In our case, it forced my DH to confront his demons and realize that I was the best thing to ever happen to him
. For me, it gave me the strength to know that I would be fine, with or without him, and that I deserved his full commitment and should not accept less from him (or someone else). 
Anonymous
10/12/2017 23:52
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
That is wonderful OP. You both are still tormented by your past relationships so try to be very patient with each other. Keep us posted and Best of Luck!!!
Anonymous
10/12/2017 06:42
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Is this the guy who dumped you out of the blue because he got upset after an argument? If it is, it’s not surprising he came back - until round two. This will be a pattern.
If you are a different poster, then never mind - I’m mixing up threads.
If you are a different poster, then never mind - I’m mixing up threads.
Anonymous
10/12/2017 06:23
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. We're back together. Thank you all
This is not going to end well..,
Anonymous
10/12/2017 00:33
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We're back together. Thank you all
This is not going to end well..,
Anonymous
10/11/2017 10:01
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
OP here. We're back together. Thank you all
Anonymous
10/11/2017 07:32
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Anonymous
10/11/2017 03:03
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Anonymous wrote:He called me! I ignored but Jesus this is hard.
Take a couple of days to assess both what he said in the message (assuming he left one) and how you feel about it. From the sounds of things, he's got no problems making decisions that affect both of you based on what he feels/wants, so why wouldn't you afford yourself the same?
Anonymous
10/09/2017 21:33
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Please. I am really struggling and sad. I feel like a fool for even having gotten into a relationship. I'm maintaining no-contact, but am otherwise a wreck. Tips and advice needed please!
Why do you feel like a fool OP? Did you ignore red flags?
We moved really fast, but it felt fated. I got caught up and followed my heart, not my head. We both just got out of relationships in which we were cheated on. I am just heartbroken to think I will never hear from him again.
Who broke up with who? Why?
Anonymous
10/09/2017 20:05
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
He called me! I ignored but Jesus this is hard.
Anonymous
10/09/2017 10:00
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Pretend they died
You grieve. It's sad
You move on
Don't entertain, "what if .. "
You grieve. It's sad
You move on
Don't entertain, "what if .. "
Anonymous
10/09/2017 09:59
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Please. I am really struggling and sad. I feel like a fool for even having gotten into a relationship. I'm maintaining no-contact, but am otherwise a wreck. Tips and advice needed please!
Why do you feel like a fool OP? Did you ignore red flags?
We moved really fast, but it felt fated. I got caught up and followed my heart, not my head. We both just got out of relationships in which we were cheated on. I am just heartbroken to think I will never hear from him again.
Anonymous
10/09/2017 08:25
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Anonymous wrote:Please. I am really struggling and sad. I feel like a fool for even having gotten into a relationship. I'm maintaining no-contact, but am otherwise a wreck. Tips and advice needed please!
Why do you feel like a fool OP? Did you ignore red flags?
Roar
10/08/2017 20:01
Subject: Tell me how to handle a break-up well
Love the PP! Get on the treadmill with a great playlist of awesome upbeat songs (or even f-u breakup songs). The endorphins of exercise will carry you through, and make you look even hotter.
Love purging the closet idea. I gave 5 bags to goodwill of clothes that didnt automatically bring me joy. Felt great to help others and get the negativity out of my closet.
Focus each day on some little self improvement. You'll be amazed what occurs in 2 weeks. If you like music, go see a concert at a club. You'll be amazed the great friends you will meet over a common thing.
You're ex gave you a gift really, because they now allow you to find the person you really should be with. I say it a lot here, but I truly believe the only difference between a groove and a rut is how you see it. If you need a suggestion, I love jammin java in Falls church or the tally ho in Leesburg or the Fillmore in Silver Spring. All have a wide variety of music and its a blast to go get out there!
Love purging the closet idea. I gave 5 bags to goodwill of clothes that didnt automatically bring me joy. Felt great to help others and get the negativity out of my closet.
Focus each day on some little self improvement. You'll be amazed what occurs in 2 weeks. If you like music, go see a concert at a club. You'll be amazed the great friends you will meet over a common thing.
You're ex gave you a gift really, because they now allow you to find the person you really should be with. I say it a lot here, but I truly believe the only difference between a groove and a rut is how you see it. If you need a suggestion, I love jammin java in Falls church or the tally ho in Leesburg or the Fillmore in Silver Spring. All have a wide variety of music and its a blast to go get out there!