Anonymous wrote:Try moving her computer to the kitchen table instead of a desk in her room.

Worked wonders for our teen.

+100

Try moving her computer to the kitchen table instead of a desk in her room.

Worked wonders for our teen.

Our school regularly sends out an email that say... "if you student is spending more than 3 hours of homework every night please contact your school counselor".

They do say that 4-6 hours is normal on exam week but during normal times students should only have 3 hours of homework, with the rare 4-5 hours every now and then.

Our school will make the child take less AP classes which is why some parent refuse to report it to the school.

But our school does not put rigor over health.

I have a HS freshman with a couple of really tough classes (and several easy ones). Always been a straight A student and would study the hard ones til 1 if we allowed it (to ace the tests, prep for APs all the way in the spring, etc). It may be that the kid hasn't calibrated to how much is 'enough.' Also monitor to see if the kid is working consistently or taking a lot of breaks/distracted by music, etc. as that could slow things down a LOT. Especially when you have that much work ahead of you, it's easy to take too much time off because you feel overwhelmed. (I know-- I should be working but am on DCUM!)

Not only is this not normal, but I would not allow this to happen more than once. A MAJOR intervention is needed here. One or more of these things is going on:

(a) She is completely distracted by other non-homework activities.
(b) She is completely lacking in the planning/organization skills and focus she needs at this level.
(c) She is completely out of her depth in her classes.
(d) She is ill (mentally or physically).
(d) The school's expectations are patently ridiculous and unhealthy.

Pick your poison(s), there are no other explanations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, it's a processing speed issue.
But it's largely diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

Please get her evaluated by a reputable psychologist.

My son has inattentive ADHD and very low processing speed, and his ADHD medication makes him work much faster, that is, nearly up to average speed.

The OP already did that. She needs to drop a class or needs to do homework at the dining room table. Kid's are goofing off on their phones or the computer and not doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I said a reputable psychologist, which automatically rules out anything the school offers.
I recommend testing again with Stixrud or similar. This is NOT normal and needs to be resolved ASAP.

Where did OP say it was done through the school?

OP did not specify, which is why I'm insisting on this important fact.

But you still could be completely off base. So OP took her kid's phone away and made her block "distracting sites." For all we know the kid still have a messaging app on her computer she uses to chat with her friends and has only blocked the three distracting sites that her mother knows about. So she's goofing around on her computer all evening, and then when she thinks she going to get into trouble for staying up to late, claims "too much homework." OP doesn't have nearly enough information yet for her, you or anyone else to know what the problem is. Not all kids have the same issues, so it's not helpful to insist on seeing them all through the same lens.

Agreed, but it's important to eliminate the most serious diagnoses first, and one evaluation might not cut it (we had to have two for DS before getting to the real issues, which is how we found out the varying quality of psychologists). ADHD is a common but serious disorder, which needs time and effort to evaluate, diagnose, treat and manage, whereas distractions and shenanigans are more easily addressed. Also, being irresponsible to such a degree is unusual and can also be a symptom of anomalous distractibility.

I'd love to be off-base, PP. ADHD is not fun.

By the time a kid is nearly a freshman, it's pretty obvious. ADHD is not that hard to determine through testing and it doesn't emerge overnight.

Not necessarily true that it's obvious before freshman year. Some kids are really good at compensating until the high school workload overwhelms them and then it becomes clear something is going on. And this kid has already had testing, so something was going on before this.

Not normal, OP. My DD is at the most rigorous high school in NYC and it has never taken her half that time to get straight A's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, it's a processing speed issue.
But it's largely diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

Please get her evaluated by a reputable psychologist.

My son has inattentive ADHD and very low processing speed, and his ADHD medication makes him work much faster, that is, nearly up to average speed.

The OP already did that. She needs to drop a class or needs to do homework at the dining room table. Kid's are goofing off on their phones or the computer and not doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I said a reputable psychologist, which automatically rules out anything the school offers.
I recommend testing again with Stixrud or similar. This is NOT normal and needs to be resolved ASAP.

Where did OP say it was done through the school?

OP did not specify, which is why I'm insisting on this important fact.

But you still could be completely off base. So OP took her kid's phone away and made her block "distracting sites." For all we know the kid still have a messaging app on her computer she uses to chat with her friends and has only blocked the three distracting sites that her mother knows about. So she's goofing around on her computer all evening, and then when she thinks she going to get into trouble for staying up to late, claims "too much homework." OP doesn't have nearly enough information yet for her, you or anyone else to know what the problem is. Not all kids have the same issues, so it's not helpful to insist on seeing them all through the same lens.

Agreed, but it's important to eliminate the most serious diagnoses first, and one evaluation might not cut it (we had to have two for DS before getting to the real issues, which is how we found out the varying quality of psychologists). ADHD is a common but serious disorder, which needs time and effort to evaluate, diagnose, treat and manage, whereas distractions and shenanigans are more easily addressed. Also, being irresponsible to such a degree is unusual and can also be a symptom of anomalous distractibility.

I'd love to be off-base, PP. ADHD is not fun.

By the time a kid is nearly a freshman, it's pretty obvious. ADHD is not that hard to determine through testing and it doesn't emerge overnight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, it's a processing speed issue.
But it's largely diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

Please get her evaluated by a reputable psychologist.

My son has inattentive ADHD and very low processing speed, and his ADHD medication makes him work much faster, that is, nearly up to average speed.

The OP already did that. She needs to drop a class or needs to do homework at the dining room table. Kid's are goofing off on their phones or the computer and not doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I said a reputable psychologist, which automatically rules out anything the school offers.
I recommend testing again with Stixrud or similar. This is NOT normal and needs to be resolved ASAP.

Where did OP say it was done through the school?

OP did not specify, which is why I'm insisting on this important fact.

But you still could be completely off base. So OP took her kid's phone away and made her block "distracting sites." For all we know the kid still have a messaging app on her computer she uses to chat with her friends and has only blocked the three distracting sites that her mother knows about. So she's goofing around on her computer all evening, and then when she thinks she going to get into trouble for staying up to late, claims "too much homework." OP doesn't have nearly enough information yet for her, you or anyone else to know what the problem is. Not all kids have the same issues, so it's not helpful to insist on seeing them all through the same lens.

Agreed, but it's important to eliminate the most serious diagnoses first, and one evaluation might not cut it (we had to have two for DS before getting to the real issues, which is how we found out the varying quality of psychologists). ADHD is a common but serious disorder, which needs time and effort to evaluate, diagnose, treat and manage, whereas distractions and shenanigans are more easily addressed. Also, being irresponsible to such a degree is unusual and can also be a symptom of anomalous distractibility.

I'd love to be off-base, PP. ADHD is not fun.

I know it's not, because I have it. I still think you're projecting your own stuff all over other people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, it's a processing speed issue.
But it's largely diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

Please get her evaluated by a reputable psychologist.

My son has inattentive ADHD and very low processing speed, and his ADHD medication makes him work much faster, that is, nearly up to average speed.

The OP already did that. She needs to drop a class or needs to do homework at the dining room table. Kid's are goofing off on their phones or the computer and not doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I said a reputable psychologist, which automatically rules out anything the school offers.
I recommend testing again with Stixrud or similar. This is NOT normal and needs to be resolved ASAP.

Where did OP say it was done through the school?

OP did not specify, which is why I'm insisting on this important fact.

But you still could be completely off base. So OP took her kid's phone away and made her block "distracting sites." For all we know the kid still have a messaging app on her computer she uses to chat with her friends and has only blocked the three distracting sites that her mother knows about. So she's goofing around on her computer all evening, and then when she thinks she going to get into trouble for staying up to late, claims "too much homework." OP doesn't have nearly enough information yet for her, you or anyone else to know what the problem is. Not all kids have the same issues, so it's not helpful to insist on seeing them all through the same lens.

Agreed, but it's important to eliminate the most serious diagnoses first, and one evaluation might not cut it (we had to have two for DS before getting to the real issues, which is how we found out the varying quality of psychologists). ADHD is a common but serious disorder, which needs time and effort to evaluate, diagnose, treat and manage, whereas distractions and shenanigans are more easily addressed. Also, being irresponsible to such a degree is unusual and can also be a symptom of anomalous distractibility.

I'd love to be off-base, PP. ADHD is not fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, it's a processing speed issue.
But it's largely diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

Please get her evaluated by a reputable psychologist.

My son has inattentive ADHD and very low processing speed, and his ADHD medication makes him work much faster, that is, nearly up to average speed.

The OP already did that. She needs to drop a class or needs to do homework at the dining room table. Kid's are goofing off on their phones or the computer and not doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I said a reputable psychologist, which automatically rules out anything the school offers.
I recommend testing again with Stixrud or similar. This is NOT normal and needs to be resolved ASAP.

Where did OP say it was done through the school?

OP did not specify, which is why I'm insisting on this important fact.

But you still could be completely off base. So OP took her kid's phone away and made her block "distracting sites." For all we know the kid still have a messaging app on her computer she uses to chat with her friends and has only blocked the three distracting sites that her mother knows about. So she's goofing around on her computer all evening, and then when she thinks she going to get into trouble for staying up to late, claims "too much homework." OP doesn't have nearly enough information yet for her, you or anyone else to know what the problem is. Not all kids have the same issues, so it's not helpful to insist on seeing them all through the same lens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, it's a processing speed issue.
But it's largely diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

Please get her evaluated by a reputable psychologist.

My son has inattentive ADHD and very low processing speed, and his ADHD medication makes him work much faster, that is, nearly up to average speed.

The OP already did that. She needs to drop a class or needs to do homework at the dining room table. Kid's are goofing off on their phones or the computer and not doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I said a reputable psychologist, which automatically rules out anything the school offers.
I recommend testing again with Stixrud or similar. This is NOT normal and needs to be resolved ASAP.

Where did OP say it was done through the school?

OP did not specify, which is why I'm insisting on this important fact.

Take a look at today's post - it had a bunch of good tips for Home Work.

We are having the similar issues with middle school - we cut it off a lot earlier than you are with your daughter.

We are trying to establish frameworks that can grow with my DS. For example - lets take a look at all of your assignments. When are they due? Are some assignments multiple activities that we need to plan for? What tools are required for each assignment? (we try and limit computer and force pencil and paper as much as possible). What are you going to do 1st (get something quick and easy out of the way) What is going to be hardest? Do that 2nd so still fresh.

We discuss all of this so that he understands the thought process and has ownership.

We ae debating a homework tutor to take some of the stress off of the parent / child relationship.

If it's taking more than half an hour, it's time to intervene. Homework is overrated and next to useless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, it's a processing speed issue.
But it's largely diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

Please get her evaluated by a reputable psychologist.

My son has inattentive ADHD and very low processing speed, and his ADHD medication makes him work much faster, that is, nearly up to average speed.

The OP already did that. She needs to drop a class or needs to do homework at the dining room table. Kid's are goofing off on their phones or the computer and not doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I said a reputable psychologist, which automatically rules out anything the school offers.
I recommend testing again with Stixrud or similar. This is NOT normal and needs to be resolved ASAP.

Where did OP say it was done through the school?