Anonymous wrote:It's how they holistically build up the chemistry outside of the bedroom. Includes building a strong relationship, trust, caring in small ways, genuine love that culminates in lasting intimacy.

how does this square with women who still pine for the abusive narcissist ex?

It's how they holistically build up the chemistry outside of the bedroom. Includes building a strong relationship, trust, caring in small ways, genuine love that culminates in lasting intimacy.

I'd say muscles, size, stamina, oral skills, being open minded and having a genuine interest in pleasing their partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Caring about their partner's experiences as well as their own.

Which eliminates almost everyone in this town.

not in my cases

Anonymous wrote:Caring about their partner's experiences as well as their own.

Which eliminates almost everyone in this town.

Someone who picks up on your cues, has know how and desire.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chemistry, connection, and compatibility (especially sexual compatibility!).

Am currently having the best sex of my life (I'm early thirties and have more than been around the block) and I believe it's due to the above.

Agree with chemistry and connection for sure. What do you mean by compatibility?

Turned on by the same things. Intuitive understanding of what the other wants. Being able to switch gears in tandem (going from sweet to kinky to rough seamlessly).

Anonymous wrote:Chemistry, connection, and compatibility (especially sexual compatibility!).

Am currently having the best sex of my life (I'm early thirties and have more than been around the block) and I believe it's due to the above.

Agree with chemistry and connection for sure. What do you mean by compatibility?

Chemistry, connection, and compatibility (especially sexual compatibility!).

Am currently having the best sex of my life (I'm early thirties and have more than been around the block) and I believe it's due to the above.

Stamina

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

This!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Desire! If it's something you really want you will figure it out as long as your partner has the same desire. My DH and I have been married a very long time and the desire to please and be pleased is still there.

A lot of these remarks are so subjective as to be meaningless.

Might as well say, "to be good at sex, be someone your lover regards as being good at sex."

Anonymous wrote:As an old married lady who definitely sowed her oats as a young woman, it all comes down to chemistry and passion. When it's magic, it's magic. When it's not, no amount of skill, technique, or willingness to please can make the sex amazing.

Agree!