Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 05:50     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry for what you went through OP but so happy they are alright. They will probably suffer from some kind of PTSD- probably the best thing you can do is assure them of how much the world did indeed stop and suffer for them that day and how we all hold them in our hearts still.



What did OP go through?
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2017 15:23     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:I am a school shooting survivor from the 90s. Everyone experiences and deals with trauma differently. There is no way to predict how your brother and SIL do and will feel. Let them take the lead unless they are exhibited self destructive behavior. Be supportive now, tomorrow, next month, next year, etc., because for many survivors issues don't really appear until later, sometimes years down the road. And some never have issues at all.

I wouldn't tip toe around your brother, it will make him feel awkward. Treat him like you normally do. It is impossible to know what his triggers might be, maybe it would be a balloon popping or car back firing, but maybe not. For me, it is seeing police cars driving in hot pursuit. Loud noises don't give me flash backs.

I am very glad your family is safe. That is something right there to really celebrate. Give him a giant hug when you see him. Peace.


EMDR can help you overcome the trigger of police cars in pursuit.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2017 15:20     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And sometimes people experience great trauma and go on with life just fine. Everyone is different. Honestly, just enjoy a nice visit; don't try to be his therapist.


OP here. I wouldn't dream of trying to be his therapist. I'm 26 years old, kind of a hot mess in my personal life and mental health, and in therapy myself so it's laughable to think I might counsel a wildly successful middle-aged man about his trauma. Jesus.

The things I'm worried about are much simpler (and very likely not things I should worrying about at all - it's been a tough few days and I came here to get things off my chest) like if I should ask about what happened or if I need to worry about making loud noises. It might sound stupid but I don't know! My life has never been touched by gun violence before, or anything particularly traumatic.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. Yes, I think part of it is that it has been a wake up call in terms of the fragility of life. I'm glad I still have a chance to strengthen our relationship.


Hi OP, my best friend had a child at Sandy Hook. My advice (and my advice to anyone) is just be you. Don't try act different or be different. Just go and be there. That is what is important. Being together, let things come after as they may.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2017 13:53     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:I have friends that were also in Vegas at the concert that night. They were not shot or injured but the story of what they directly witnessed and experienced is horrifying. The emotional trauma can be equal to or greater than physical injuries.


+1 family member there and during the aftermath in the next day. Saw/ heard things that I don’t think they will forget (the scene itself, crying relatives of the deceased)
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2017 13:43     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
I have friends that were also in Vegas at the concert that night. They were not shot or injured but the story of what they directly witnessed and experienced is horrifying. The emotional trauma can be equal to or greater than physical injuries.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2017 13:37     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a school shooting survivor from the 90s. Everyone experiences and deals with trauma differently. There is no way to predict how your brother and SIL do and will feel. Let them take the lead unless they are exhibited self destructive behavior. Be supportive now, tomorrow, next month, next year, etc., because for many survivors issues don't really appear until later, sometimes years down the road. And some never have issues at all.

I wouldn't tip toe around your brother, it will make him feel awkward. Treat him like you normally do. It is impossible to know what his triggers might be, maybe it would be a balloon popping or car back firing, but maybe not. For me, it is seeing police cars driving in hot pursuit. Loud noises don't give me flash backs.

I am very glad your family is safe. That is something right there to really celebrate. Give him a giant hug when you see him. Peace.


I'm not sure if you'd be up for it, but I think you'd be really interesting to do a Q&A thread if you were willing. I'm curious about what kind of counseling or other support you got both in the immediate aftermath and longer term. I'm also curious how/if the trauma's impact on you changed over time. Totally understand if you don't want to answer.

OP, thinking of your family.


I don't think I want to do something like that, for me personally it seems too narassistic about a tragedy (like being a tragedy whore for lack of a better term). It happened in the mid 90s when thing like this were called "going postal" and my particular event actually changed the way police were trained then on how to handle an active shooter because that wasn't even a phrase they used or an event for which they trained at all (do they shoot to kill? To maim? Do they wait for back up? Do they worry about public people? Do they tackle him? Who goes first? Do they need the area secure before moving in, etc). The way people handle any trauma is very specific and individualistic I am not sure I have any of substance to offer people, other than life goes on and you need to keep living. have a good one.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2017 12:33     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:I am a school shooting survivor from the 90s. Everyone experiences and deals with trauma differently. There is no way to predict how your brother and SIL do and will feel. Let them take the lead unless they are exhibited self destructive behavior. Be supportive now, tomorrow, next month, next year, etc., because for many survivors issues don't really appear until later, sometimes years down the road. And some never have issues at all.

I wouldn't tip toe around your brother, it will make him feel awkward. Treat him like you normally do. It is impossible to know what his triggers might be, maybe it would be a balloon popping or car back firing, but maybe not. For me, it is seeing police cars driving in hot pursuit. Loud noises don't give me flash backs.

I am very glad your family is safe. That is something right there to really celebrate. Give him a giant hug when you see him. Peace.


I'm not sure if you'd be up for it, but I think you'd be really interesting to do a Q&A thread if you were willing. I'm curious about what kind of counseling or other support you got both in the immediate aftermath and longer term. I'm also curious how/if the trauma's impact on you changed over time. Totally understand if you don't want to answer.

OP, thinking of your family.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2017 12:21     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
I am a school shooting survivor from the 90s. Everyone experiences and deals with trauma differently. There is no way to predict how your brother and SIL do and will feel. Let them take the lead unless they are exhibited self destructive behavior. Be supportive now, tomorrow, next month, next year, etc., because for many survivors issues don't really appear until later, sometimes years down the road. And some never have issues at all.

I wouldn't tip toe around your brother, it will make him feel awkward. Treat him like you normally do. It is impossible to know what his triggers might be, maybe it would be a balloon popping or car back firing, but maybe not. For me, it is seeing police cars driving in hot pursuit. Loud noises don't give me flash backs.

I am very glad your family is safe. That is something right there to really celebrate. Give him a giant hug when you see him. Peace.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 16:57     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:Check out the transcript from the 1A show on WAMU yesterday. They did a show on what it is like to be shot including talking to a trauma surgeon. There might be some solid resources there for you to check out to help you start to understand what your brother and SIL are going through. GL.


Thank you so much for this. I'm passing it on to my dad as well.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 16:54     Subject: My brother survived being shot in Vegas
What he saw and heard at that moment may lead to the PTSD - not his injury.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 16:52     Subject: Re:My brother survived being shot in Vegas
Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, that's so scary OP. I'm really glad they're ok. You sound like a good sister.


+1

Wishing you and yours well, OP. Be there for him.

I hope people who stress about the little things will take it down a few notches, but probably not.