Anonymous wrote:Do a big cleaning. Get rid of what's not used. Then tell DD for every new dress/toy that comes IN, one has to go OUT. Then stick to that.

That just teaches that only new has value.

I used to be a frequent babysitter for an affluent family. The kids had constant new toys.
The mom did that thing where you can "adopt" an orphan in another country for like $25 a month and get a letter monthly from the orphanage on how the "adopted" child is doing.
The mom kept the photos and letters of the "adopted" kid on the refrigerator.
Learning about the lifestyle this orphan had was an eye opener for the kids I babysat, and seemed to make them more empathetic and appreciative of the blessings they had in their own lives.

OP, we are in a similar situation and we live in a very small house. The way I have managed it is by encouraging many of the larger toys to live at the grandparents' house, because we do visit there often and I have pushed the grands to start spoiling with experience gifts.

Examples: Memberships at the Aquarium and Maryland Zoo, Port Discovery, tickets to shows, the Harlem Globetrotters, .

This is win win for all because the grandparents get what they want, which is love and adoration from the child for the spoiling, but they are also building memories and giving my child fun and enriching experiences.

You can always suggest that you'd rather have the gift of time with their grandparents, like going to the park, reading books or playing with toys. I agree that the dynamic of presents =love breeds competition and entitlement

Anonymous wrote:What does ODD stand for in this context?

Older dear daughter

What does ODD stand for in this context?

You need to put your foot down even if it's hurtful. They are trying to show love but you are being overwhelmed. Point out to them that DC is developing bratty behaviors from being over indulged and you have to insist it stops. Remind them that they are wasting money when you have to give away things they buy because you have no more space. Invite them to take DC places instead or buy memberships where they can enjoy time with her instead.

I begged my MIL to buy my girls skating lessons for their birthdays. She relented and did and they all loved it! We either picked grandma up so she could come watch the lessons or sometimes she just took them herself and then they went to lunch afterwards. Win-win!

My brother gives my kids a zoo membership each year. We text him photos every time we go.

Is your DD really spoiled or just get a lot off presents? There is a difference. Does she go into a tantrum if you don't buy her what she wants right there and then? Does she scream for ice cream? Is she demanding presents from grandparents and you? Or is she polite and says thank you and of no fault of her own she has grandparents who buy her things? If she is not actin spoiled, why are you calling her spoiled?

Be honest with the grandparents. They give her so much stuff that it's actually interfering with their relationship with her: all she cares about is the gift.

Of course, the real problem is probably that they don't know how to have a relationship with her that is not based on buying her affection. Maybe they could turn their gifts into activities/memberships to places they could go together?

Also, take heart. In our family DH was the one buying new stuff for the kids, sometimes on a daily basis, because he was so needy for their "approval". It was gross. But our kids are good kids. Starting around age 7 my oldest started getting annoyed with it and saying things like "Dad, I don't need a LEGO for going to the dentist. It's just the dentist!"

sucesful-->successful. Time to take my contacts out!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of toys and things do not spoil a child.

What you teach them ( or not) how you build their character or not is hat makes them spoiled.

I know people and children who have and/or grew up with lots of toys and things and they are the best people in the world.

Similarly, I know folks that grew up with little and they are unappreciative and entitled.

LOL

I now live in a wealthy neighborhood and I agree with top PP. I grew up very poor and worked hard and became sucesful and am now surrounded by people who are wealthy by either hard work or inheritance or marriage or luck. Whatever. I don't want my rich kids to be entitled or spoiled, so I have studied the people around me now for years, trying to figure out how to pull this off. Top PP is correct. How do do that is for another post.

Honestly? I would ship the unused stuff back to Amazon. The only thing you need is the senders email address and they will generate a label for you. Ask for a credit to be put on your account. You'll amass a nice Amazon cushion you can use for essentials/yourself. If you are feeling really motivated, put the corresponding dollar amount to a college fund.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of toys and things do not spoil a child.

What you teach them ( or not) how you build their character or not is hat makes them spoiled.

I know people and children who have and/or grew up with lots of toys and things and they are the best people in the world.

Similarly, I know folks that grew up with little and they are unappreciative and entitled.

LOL

Lots of toys and things do not spoil a child.

What you teach them ( or not) how you build their character or not is hat makes them spoiled.

I know people and children who have and/or grew up with lots of toys and things and they are the best people in the world.

Similarly, I know folks that grew up with little and they are unappreciative and entitled.

Make them save money for thier grandchildren college, fun trips, etc.