Anonymous wrote:The mistake was that you thought it had to be one or the other. And you did it to feel superior to other women.

Yup yup. This.

Jesus, people. This is an MRA troll.

If these women were shallow and focused on looks, they met guys who liked them because of their looks, which is shallow. That's not the kind of relationship I would want.

I know plenty of smart, not-super-hot women in great marriages - they do exist. I don't think you were wrong to pursue an intellectual life, though it does sound like you are frustrated because you probably pursued a low-income career and then somehow expected money to come from it.

Can you change your career? The "decent relationship" sounds promising - I'd like one of those. Can you try to appreciate what you do have? A stable job and a stable guy? Maybe find some hobbies that make you happy?

Anonymous wrote:I was told that my value and worth stems from developing my intellect and my mind. Those girls who focused on their beauty and chased boys were shallow and inferior. It was stupid to care about my acne or learn how to put together an outfit. I was to forgo trying to fit in and focus on school.

Where fast forward a decade and I am in a decent relationship and a crappy job from which I'll never be able to retire. Those girls who focused on looks at dating are now happy SAHM with beautiful children and carefree lives while I am following the rat race.

I wish someone told me to abandon feminism and focus on intellect and academics. I wish I learned to use my beauty when I was younger.

You're obviously not a feminist if you need someone to tell you what to think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was told that my value and worth stems from developing my intellect and my mind. Those girls who focused on their beauty and chased boys were shallow and inferior. It was stupid to care about my acne or learn how to put together an outfit. I was to forgo trying to fit in and focus on school.

Where fast forward a decade and I am in a decent relationship and a crappy job from which I'll never be able to retire. Those girls who focused on looks at dating are now happy SAHM with beautiful children and carefree lives while I am following the rat race.

I wish someone told me to abandon feminism and focus on intellect and academics. I wish I learned to use my beauty when I was younger.

OP - I agree with you. Feminism is poison that made women unhappy, men not wanting to commit or care, and made many children grow up in single parent households. Feminism sold to women the idea of "having it all" without a consideration what makes women truly happy and fulfilled. Feminism is social engineering. Luckily, in America the tide is turning and the society still has a chance to be salvaged. http://observer.com/2016/05/five-ways-feminism-has-made-women-miserable/

Every woman I know- including myself- are pretty happy having it all. Great career, husband who had no problem committing, fantastic kids. I was completely miserable being a housewife/SAHM, much happier having both a career and a family. Husbands are also happier because they aren't 100% responsible for income.

I don't understand how you ended up in a dead-end job if you really focused on you, your intellect and school? Is there a career change you can make given that it sounds like you have a good education (and I'm not just talking about money - I'm talking about generating real satisfaction from your job and career). If you are energized and feel like you are making a difference, it can really affect your overall well-being and make you feel better in other areas of your life. Sounds like you are in a bad place in terms of your career and your relationship. Rather than thinking the grass is greener for others, work on trying to fix what you have control over. Good luck.

The mistake was that you thought it had to be one or the other. And you did it to feel superior to other women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was told that my value and worth stems from developing my intellect and my mind. Those girls who focused on their beauty and chased boys were shallow and inferior. It was stupid to care about my acne or learn how to put together an outfit. I was to forgo trying to fit in and focus on school.

Where fast forward a decade and I am in a decent relationship and a crappy job from which I'll never be able to retire. Those girls who focused on looks at dating are now happy SAHM with beautiful children and carefree lives while I am following the rat race.

I wish someone told me to abandon feminism and focus on intellect and academics. I wish I learned to use my beauty when I was younger.

OP - I agree with you. Feminism is poison that made women unhappy, men not wanting to commit or care, and made many children grow up in single parent households. Feminism sold to women the idea of "having it all" without a consideration what makes women truly happy and fulfilled. Feminism is social engineering. Luckily, in America the tide is turning and the society still has a chance to be salvaged. http://observer.com/2016/05/five-ways-feminism-has-made-women-miserable/

I agree with you completely. Feminism brain washed women into abandoning and ignoring their natural biological and social desires. They got tricked into spending their youth and peak fertility shuffling papers making some silly business owner rich. At 40 they wake up alone sans children and husband and mourn their wasted time.

All women truly want is to submit to a powerful masculine male and be bred by him. All this girl power act is then thrown out the window.

I think your mom needs to do some laundry in the basement now. Better switch off the porn.

But if you have a dead end job then maybe you didn't focus on academics and making your way up. How does that jive with emphasizing intellect etc? Not enough to be smart and dream up things, need to have the credential, drive, some ambition and perseverance and some luck, but all the other stuff to make that lucky break count and capitalize on that. Being put together with clean, well groomed outside also key. Not focusing on "looks" as in surgery and vanity, but being presentable and the best version of you so you give off the vibe that you can get stuff done.
I'm not brilliant and not super atteactive. Probably smarter and quicker than many, but nothing dramatic. Also not gorgeous , but decent, well put together and approachable. I've been faking until I make it for a while. Learn as much as I can, read people well and anticipate their needs and now in a good career place, husband and kid.
A person is the whole package, no reason to ignore one side completely and put all eggs in one basket.

Anonymous wrote:Parents have been advising their less than attractive daughters to focus on academics for decades. A quick glance at female govt attorneys confirms this.

I disagree. I'd do most of them.

Stop blaming others. Take some responsibility for your own choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was told that my value and worth stems from developing my intellect and my mind. Those girls who focused on their beauty and chased boys were shallow and inferior. It was stupid to care about my acne or learn how to put together an outfit. I was to forgo trying to fit in and focus on school.

Where fast forward a decade and I am in a decent relationship and a crappy job from which I'll never be able to retire. Those girls who focused on looks at dating are now happy SAHM with beautiful children and carefree lives while I am following the rat race.

I wish someone told me to abandon feminism and focus on intellect and academics. I wish I learned to use my beauty when I was younger.

OP - I agree with you. Feminism is poison that made women unhappy, men not wanting to commit or care, and made many children grow up in single parent households. Feminism sold to women the idea of "having it all" without a consideration what makes women truly happy and fulfilled. Feminism is social engineering. Luckily, in America the tide is turning and the society still has a chance to be salvaged. http://observer.com/2016/05/five-ways-feminism-has-made-women-miserable/

I agree with you completely. Feminism brain washed women into abandoning and ignoring their natural biological and social desires. They got tricked into spending their youth and peak fertility shuffling papers making some silly business owner rich. At 40 they wake up alone sans children and husband and mourn their wasted time.

All women truly want is to submit to a powerful masculine male and be bred by him. All this girl power act is then thrown out the window.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was told that my value and worth stems from developing my intellect and my mind. Those girls who focused on their beauty and chased boys were shallow and inferior. It was stupid to care about my acne or learn how to put together an outfit. I was to forgo trying to fit in and focus on school.

Where fast forward a decade and I am in a decent relationship and a crappy job from which I'll never be able to retire. Those girls who focused on looks at dating are now happy SAHM with beautiful children and carefree lives while I am following the rat race.

I wish someone told me to abandon feminism and focus on intellect and academics. I wish I learned to use my beauty when I was younger.

OP - I agree with you. Feminism is poison that made women unhappy, men not wanting to commit or care, and made many children grow up in single parent households. Feminism sold to women the idea of "having it all" without a consideration what makes women truly happy and fulfilled. Feminism is social engineering. Luckily, in America the tide is turning and the society still has a chance to be salvaged. http://observer.com/2016/05/five-ways-feminism-has-made-women-miserable/

Shouldn't you go back to posting on some "red pill" site?

Anonymous wrote:I was told that my value and worth stems from developing my intellect and my mind. Those girls who focused on their beauty and chased boys were shallow and inferior. It was stupid to care about my acne or learn how to put together an outfit. I was to forgo trying to fit in and focus on school.

Where fast forward a decade and I am in a decent relationship and a crappy job from which I'll never be able to retire. Those girls who focused on looks at dating are now happy SAHM with beautiful children and carefree lives while I am following the rat race.

I wish someone told me to abandon feminism and focus on intellect and academics. I wish I learned to use my beauty when I was younger.

OP - I agree with you. Feminism is poison that made women unhappy, men not wanting to commit or care, and made many children grow up in single parent households. Feminism sold to women the idea of "having it all" without a consideration what makes women truly happy and fulfilled. Feminism is social engineering. Luckily, in America the tide is turning and the society still has a chance to be salvaged. http://observer.com/2016/05/five-ways-feminism-has-made-women-miserable/

There is a lot of middle ground between "beautiful SAHM with a rich husband" and "ugly with a mediocre boyfriend and a dead end job". Work on developing your career (being smart doesn't guarantee a great job, you actually have to work at it), hit the gym, learn how to do hair/makeup/clothes.