Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my daughter's close friends had a massive party and a handful of girls slept over. It wasn't weird or rude at all. None of the girls discussed it and the kids who slept over had been really good friends for years mixed in with many newer friends from a brand new school.

Of course the included ones never think it's rude

In our case, everyone knows who sleeps over. Only the closest friends sleep over. The others don't and no bad feelings about it. There are many groups of friends and after most birthdays there were several sleep overs (some stay with bday kid, some leave with another parent to another sleepover). Sleepovers were happening most weekends and were not perceived as a party.

Some say your daughter will be inviting people to her wedding but saying she doesn't have room for them to attend the reception afterwards that is only for "real" guests.

Anonymous wrote:One of my daughter's close friends had a massive party and a handful of girls slept over. It wasn't weird or rude at all. None of the girls discussed it and the kids who slept over had been really good friends for years mixed in with many newer friends from a brand new school.

+1

This is common in my boys circle. They are surprisingly discreet and don't tell others. Parents sneak in overnight gear.

We've been on both sides.

Maybe there's less "mean girl" type stuff amongst boys--but never hard feelings. Hug group of friends with smaller closer subsets.

Anonymous wrote:One of my daughter's close friends had a massive party and a handful of girls slept over. It wasn't weird or rude at all. None of the girls discussed it and the kids who slept over had been really good friends for years mixed in with many newer friends from a brand new school.

Of course the included ones never think it's rude

Anonymous wrote: I'm thinking it's rude to only invite a subset to stay overnight. DD doesn't agree and says that the girls staying overnight won't say anything and will keep it to themselves.

Another vote for your position. Reasons have been outlined by PPs. Also, the out-of-town overnight guest example is too different to apply in your situation.

One of my daughter's close friends had a massive party and a handful of girls slept over. It wasn't weird or rude at all. None of the girls discussed it and the kids who slept over had been really good friends for years mixed in with many newer friends from a brand new school.

This was common with my kids. Some kids stay for a sleepover, some don't. It never was part of the invitation (unless it's a sleepover party, which we did too, 17 girls). Some girls just stayed, asking parents at the end and the main two friends always stayed, but they also came early to help prepare (they loved planning parties).

Your job as a parent is to teach/guide your child in how to behave/be nice/be a good person. You're failing.

Very rude, but I know people do it. It happened that my daughter was one of the not included sleep over guests. Sleeping bags were in the hall way, so obvious.

Interesting also that you think it's ok to teach your kid (and the subset of besties) to essentially lie to their other "friends" by not saying anything.

Really rude and selfish.

Some people do this twi-tiered guest thing, but it is startlingly rude.

Either all or none. Next year she can have a sleepover party if she wants

I remember showing up to a birthday party where the host had taken 4 of the girls to get a pedicure before the party and I felt left out. I think this is the same thing. Have the sleepover another night.

Wow. Can't believe you needed to ask this

Incredibly rude. And completely different than the situation above where the two girls from out of town spent the night. The fact that you would even ask this question should make you reflect on your own relationships.

Like the others, I've seen it done but think it is super rude. The only exception is the immediate PP with the guests who had moved out of town. I think that's understandable, but otherwise, no.

It is a big deal