Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 13:40     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have a good family friend. He was my DH's friend before becoming my friend too. He has had some childhood trauma and is living with consequences of it now. He told the story to my husband. He now wants to tell me the same story too. He invited me for a coffee. DH knows about this and is ok with it. The friend is definitely not attracted to me or anything like that. Is it morally wrong if I meet up with him?


I suspect it is difficult for him to share his story to more than one person at a time.

Why in the world would you think this was not OK (unless YOU are attracted to HIM?) ... i think the issue must lie within you.


+1000
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 13:31     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are attracted to the friend and are worried about being alone with him. Either that or you have some weird views about men and women being friends that you need to ask DCUM whether or not it is OK to go to lunch with a friend of the opposite sex.


I don't think it's about this specific person, but OP is clearly are DYING for this guy (really, any man) to hit on her.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 13:31     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
If he's told your husband his story a hundred times, can't your husband just fill you in, now that the friend wants you to know? This friend sounds exhausting and tedious and attention-whorish.

BTW, overweight people are not immune to sexual activity and affairs.

What a lot of manufactured drama over nothing.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 13:29     Subject: Re:Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:Op here - so all the people acting like this is a normal, random thing, I would like to hear how many of you have been invited by your SO's friends to go out alone for meals, drinks, coffees, etc.? I might be old-fashioned but I just think there is something a tad off in that. However, I always give people benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I find it funny how today's society normalizes some things that would have been unthinkable 100 years ago.


I have had lunch, or dinner, or coffee, with nearly all of my friends' spouses. It's really not a big deal. Good grief.

In other news, OP, black people can now marry white people, gay people can get married, women can vote, and there's this odd thing called "reality television" that, against all odds and in defiance of any rational explanation, has produced a President (sort of) of the United States.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 13:19     Subject: Re:Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:Op here - so all the people acting like this is a normal, random thing, I would like to hear how many of you have been invited by your SO's friends to go out alone for meals, drinks, coffees, etc.? I might be old-fashioned but I just think there is something a tad off in that. However, I always give people benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I find it funny how today's society normalizes some things that would have been unthinkable 100 years ago.


It happens. Especially when people have important things to talk about. Don't over think this. Go have the coffee, be a good listener, and if things get weirdly inappropriate (which they probably won't), leave.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 12:22     Subject: Re:Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here - I am going to meet him and listen to the story. I can't help him with anything. He is actually in a good life situation now but is dealing with left over mental trauma. I guess some people just need to vent over and over again in order to overcome whatever is bothering them. I am resolved to see the meeting as just that. If I notice anything else I will excuse myself and leave.


You sound like a high needs drama queen. Do you always assume men are hitting on you? I know a woman who thinks EVERY man is checking her, she is actually chubby and unattractive. its odd.


Funny, I think exact opposite of myself. I do not think that men check me out at all.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 12:19     Subject: Re:Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Op here - so all the people acting like this is a normal, random thing, I would like to hear how many of you have been invited by your SO's friends to go out alone for meals, drinks, coffees, etc.? I might be old-fashioned but I just think there is something a tad off in that. However, I always give people benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I find it funny how today's society normalizes some things that would have been unthinkable 100 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 12:19     Subject: Re:Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:Op here - I am going to meet him and listen to the story. I can't help him with anything. He is actually in a good life situation now but is dealing with left over mental trauma. I guess some people just need to vent over and over again in order to overcome whatever is bothering them. I am resolved to see the meeting as just that. If I notice anything else I will excuse myself and leave.


You sound like a high needs drama queen. Do you always assume men are hitting on you? I know a woman who thinks EVERY man is checking her, she is actually chubby and unattractive. its odd.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 11:45     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
It sounds like you are attracted to the friend and are worried about being alone with him. Either that or you have some weird views about men and women being friends that you need to ask DCUM whether or not it is OK to go to lunch with a friend of the opposite sex.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 11:39     Subject: Re:Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:Op here - I am going to meet him and listen to the story. I can't help him with anything. He is actually in a good life situation now but is dealing with left over mental trauma. I guess some people just need to vent over and over again in order to overcome whatever is bothering them. I am resolved to see the meeting as just that. If I notice anything else I will excuse myself and leave.


Good for you. And scary that you immediately link a cup of coffee to a proposition. Does that kind of thing normally happen to you? Unless you are meeting for coffee in an hourly motel room I think you will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 11:34     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It goes against the letter and spirit of your marriage vows. Call it off.


Agree. Is it really worth that sip of coffee turning into an eternity sipping from the devil's engorged member in Hell?


HAHAHA This made my day... I'll have to slip this into conversation...
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 11:15     Subject: Re:Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Op here - I am going to meet him and listen to the story. I can't help him with anything. He is actually in a good life situation now but is dealing with left over mental trauma. I guess some people just need to vent over and over again in order to overcome whatever is bothering them. I am resolved to see the meeting as just that. If I notice anything else I will excuse myself and leave.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 08:49     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
OP honestly you and your marriage sound bizarro. Do you all have trust issues or are you super religious?
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 07:35     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:It goes against the letter and spirit of your marriage vows. Call it off.


Agree. Is it really worth that sip of coffee turning into an eternity sipping from the devil's engorged member in Hell?
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2017 07:32     Subject: Meeting DH's friend for a coffee
Anonymous wrote:Just stick to basic black coffee, and avoid those high calorie frapachino things.


+1 no grande mochacinos and you should be able to keep your pants on.