Anonymous wrote:Y'all folks saying au pairs must not be introverts. I have had two great (live-out) nannies but I would not want a non-family-member (esp an attractive young woman) living with us. Although I would absolutely love a cleaner or a household assistant to do dropoff/pickup.

OP, I second the suggestion to get a weekly sitter for date night and/or weekend mornings. It's made a huge difference in my life. Outdoor exercise is also key. I bike to work like one of the PPs and it's an easy way to fit it in. Running also doesn't take that long and requires no equipment other than shoes.

Anonymous wrote:How many kids and how old?

Anonymous wrote:Au pair.

Anonymous wrote:A well run house can lower your stress as a busy mom. Here are some tips for running the house that I have found useful. Depending on how much money you have you can outsource some of this stuff. I have no pets and four children. One is out of the house now and one child has allergies. So some of these things happened because of trying to minimize allergies.

Declutter - declutter your house, purse, car, closets. Get a professional organizer if you do not have the time. Less stuff means more clarity and less stress.

Organize - your tools, clothes, pantry, garage, papers, rooms, bathrooms, costco purchases...you will feel more in control and will not end up getting up extra stuff in your house.

Stop unwanted mail and subscriptions - http://www.ecocycle.org/junkmail

Have easy clean spaces - These are spaces that do not have any extra knick knacks or stuff in them and are easy to keep clean. Think of it as a hotel suite that does not have any extra stuff...formal living room, formal dining room, powder room, breakfast nook, foyer. These should be extremely easy to clean because it should not be storage areas for other stuff.

Make bed-making easy - I have all white bed linens with colored down comforters. It is easy to wash the bed-sheets and pillow cases with a shot of bleach and hot water. Also, easy for my kids to make their beds in the morning as they only have to prop the pillows and straighten the comforter. I did away with the top sheet, layers of blankets etc and so making beds is a 40 second job. Since beds are the largest piece of furniture in a bedroom if they are made the rooms look clean.

Towels - I have found that having only white towels and bathroom rugs has magically made laundry easier. It is also more hygienic because you can wash it in hot water and bleach.

Cheesecloth in air vents - Unscrew the air vents and stretch a cheesecloth over the vent cover and then screw it right back. It works as a filter to trap dirt. Your house will be less dusty for longer periods of time. Discard when it becomes dusty.

No shoes in the house. Big mats in all the entrances to take off shoes. Old carpets in the garage - to help not track dirt inside. I keep an old vacuum in the garage to vacuum the carpet at the entrance of the door connecting the house with the garage.

Food - Prepare menu for the entire week (including for the lunch bags). It revolutionizes your budgeting, shopping and cooking. Pantry and fridge needs to be organized regularly...it gives you a good idea of what to buy, use and donate.

Laundry - Do laundry every day or two days. Waiting for the end of the week increases your work.

Entertain - Make a list of people, divvy up the entertainment in categories - potluck, tea party, wine and cheese gatherings, cocktails and hors d'oeuvre, intimate dinners for not more than two additional couples, catered affairs for larger groups. I normally host easy gatherings - game nights, 4th of July, book club meetings, kids sleepovers, kids birthdays, surprise parties - so that I can get away with serving pizza, sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, and appetizers and tons of wine and beer - basically non-fancy stuff. I also invite parents and siblings for kids parties, because that way I have done my bit in entertaining the adults as well. It reduces the pressure during holidays because we have entertained throughout the year. I have been doing this for the past four years and it has been really simple. The house also needs to be only respectably clean and not super decorated for such events.

Christmas and Thanksgiving - We spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with ILs and I contribute the meat (turkey or ham), a couple bottles of wine and a dessert. I love the idea that I do not have to host it in my house and clean and decorate to the extent the hosting family does. MIL is happy because she gets to host and she feels that I am doing my bit in helping out. + I get to be the hero for taking care of the big items.

Yard - If yard maintainence is hard then do a simple yard design. A few trees instead of flower beds, hanging containers with flowers makes it easier to get the pop of color your front yard needs. You do have to water every day. Get a lawn mowing and lawn treatment company to take over maintainence.

Medical appointments - schedule the entire family's well visits (yearly physical, dental appointment, specialists) in the first two weeks of January, or as early as possible. Schedule it during Fall of the previous year. I also get my air vents cleaned then as well as any household appliance inspection out of the way during this time. DH takes a week off during that time so that he can take our oldest two for their appointments, I am in charge of the youngest. This way I can meet the bulk of medical deductibles on well visits and through the year I pay little when we fall sick.

Flu shots for all - Your entire family should get flu shots to prevent illness. However, it is money well spent when you pay for getting the families of people who work for you also vaccinated. This is your childcare provider, house-cleaner etc. Their health and well-being directly impact your well-being. They are part of your support that make life easy for you.

Tutors at home - Having tutors and teachers come to your house to teach instead of you driving your kid around makes life easier for your kid and you. You will have to pay extra for tutors to come to your house and for the one on one instruction but it is worth it. Unfortunately, this option is not widely available.

Remodeling, repairs, renovations? Do it in winter. - Sounds counter-intuitive but you will get a better price from your contractor/handyman and more availability during winter because bulk of construction work is done in summer. If you are not hosting Christmas your house can handle the renovation during the holiday season.

Anonymous wrote:Virtual personal assistant to handle crap you don't want to deal with - surprisingly affordable. I use timeetc.com

I agree with others about trading off on sleeping in. But a babysitter from 9-1 might be good one weekend day and easier to find than someone willing to come at 6 am.

I use blueapron, no longer worry as much about meal planning and shopping.

Anonymous wrote:Are you a single mom? My husband and I take turns sleeping in on the weekends. If that wouldn't work for you, I think a babysitter in the morning is a great idea. Is there anyone local who could take your kid overnight for you? My parents are local and will take our older son overnight a few times a year and he loves it!

We've started having our house cleaned every two weeks and while it barely fits in our budget and we still have to "prep" a lot for the cleaners, it's nice not having to scrub toilets and mop floors on top of everything else going on.

My leave balance is finally starting to recover after 2 maternity leaves in the past 4 years so I'm doing things like leaving an hour early once every 2 weeks to run a few errands before pick up. Sometimes I'll take a few hours off to be home alone so I can do things like switch out kids out of season clothes or stuff that's too small, organize my pantry etc. Its really hard to get that stuff done when everyone is home.

Anonymous wrote:rabbit

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Anonymous wrote:Counterintuitive, but adding something to your busy schedule that really refreshes you can be a good investment in how you feel about your life. Art class, exercise, weekly happy hour, volunteering for a cause that you really believe in, whatever sounds good to you.

I agree with this. I've added an hour of exercise to my day and I feel so much better. However, I also can't get my sleep together, and that's a huge drain. So if OP needs to fix sleep first, definitely start there. I average 4-5 hours of sleep and cannot get more. It's really wearing me down.

NP.When do you exercise? I'm so beat at the end of the day and my 3.5 year old naps at daycare so often isn't falling asleep until 9:30pm even though we put him down at 8:30pm. My one year old wakes up between 4:45-5:30am. Maybe I need to get out of the house to make it happen, if I'm home and DH is watching the kids I seem to always get sucked in

I walk 1/2 hour during lunch at work. Before the shorter days, I was able to do it around 6:30 in the or I filled.

Then I walk 1/2 hour after dinner. I just joined a gym and will go after dinner.

The exercise will help you feel less beat. Although it doesn't completely make up for lack of sleep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counterintuitive, but adding something to your busy schedule that really refreshes you can be a good investment in how you feel about your life. Art class, exercise, weekly happy hour, volunteering for a cause that you really believe in, whatever sounds good to you.

I agree with this. I've added an hour of exercise to my day and I feel so much better. However, I also can't get my sleep together, and that's a huge drain. So if OP needs to fix sleep first, definitely start there. I average 4-5 hours of sleep and cannot get more. It's really wearing me down.

NP.When do you exercise? I'm so beat at the end of the day and my 3.5 year old naps at daycare so often isn't falling asleep until 9:30pm even though we put him down at 8:30pm. My one year old wakes up between 4:45-5:30am. Maybe I need to get out of the house to make it happen, if I'm home and DH is watching the kids I seem to always get sucked in