I hope your experience is better this time coming, OP.

With my first, she was 7 lbs and I had zero tearing. I was in the hospital bed the entire time hooked up to the epidural. I was fine walking around at home and didn't fall ill. Sex felt loose when we did it 4-5 weeks after delivery. I don't remember much else than being extremely tired from waking up every 2 hours with a newborn! Not sure how normal or abnormal my experience was, but I'm praying everything goes the same in 1 month with my second!

wow OP that sounds really rough. I've only had one baby, and I had an emergency c section so I don't have any other birth experience to compare it to. However, my recovery was far, far easier than what you describe.

Anonymous wrote:I had a 9 lb son vaginally (bad 3rd degree tear) with lots and lots of amazing drugs 2.5 years ago. I'm 100% fine now but I'm trying to see how typical my recovery was as I get ready to give birth to #2 in a few months.

1. I was bed the entire time I was in the hospital with very low blood pressure hooked up to IVs and in a lot of pain and on pain meds
3. After I got home and a day or so of being ok I became too ill to get out of bed for about 5 days
2. I was unable to have a bowel movement for a week and only was able to after being admitted into the hospital
3. For a month it took me about 45 minutes each time I had to urinate and that was using a peri bottle etc
4. I bled, needed pain spray and witch hazel pads for about a month
5. I was not able to sit without a special cushion for about a month.
6. I was not allowed to drive for about 8 weeks
7. I had tailbone pain for over a year
8. Sex was VERY difficult and almost impossible for many months

Wow. Not typical at least for a smaller tear. I had a first degree tear with each of my two kids, both mid-7 pounders.

First kid: in bed most of the time in the hospital, pain when peeing for at least a week, took colace for bowel movements and had one within a few days, bled for 6 weeks, general exhaustion, sex was painful when we started (which wasn't until baby was 4 months old). I mainly recall the exhaustion and that my whole body, but especially my abs, hurt for a couple weeks. When I walked I felt all hunched over and had to remind myself of good posture.

Second kid: in bed at hospital for most of the time, but was sitting up when not sleeping; took colace, but even with it, bowel movements were tough (but not impossible) for a month; bled for 4 weeks; abs sore for only a couple days; no pain when peeing, however had much worse incontinence -- peed when sneezing or coughing for months and couldn't stop the pee mid-flow until about 3 months post-partum. Also resumed sex about 4 months post partum and while I didn't enjoy it, it wasn't painful.

Second recovery overall was much easier, which I attribute to (1) having had an epidural so I got some rest during delivery (didn't during the first one), and (2) better mental state because I knew how to take care of a baby and wasn't crazy depressed. My baby had some medical issues and older child got very sick for a few weeks right after we brought baby home, and I got sick too, so it was a general shit show, and yet even with that recovery from #2 was significantly easier.

Good luck to you. Hope your second labor goes more smoothly and ask for colace (and pain meds if you need them) from the get-go.

9.5lb baby and less than 1 degree tear (if thats possible). Pushed for only 45 minutes. Was in labor for 30 hours though. I felt totally fine after delivery and came home fine. A little bit of swelling and needed to use witch hazel pads and spray bottle for about a week. Was out walking the dog with my family after week two and was running by week 6. I am not a large person either so OB and I were both surprised I was able to push out such a large baby.

Second baby was 8lbs (3 weeks early) and came out before I even knew what was happening. Literally felt like I could run the next day. No tearing and no swelling. Had to remind myself that I just had a baby and relax I felt that good.

I had a 3rd degree tear.

1. I was induced so I had to be in bed and hooked up to monitors the whole time I was in the hospital.
2. I took pain killers while in the hospital, but felt okay with just Motrin after I was released.
3. I had no problems urinating or with bowel movements. 4. I took stool softeners for about 2 weeks pp.
5. I bled and used pain spray and witch hazel pads for a month. Although after 3 weeks, it was just light spotting.
6. It hurt to sit down or get up and to walk long distances (more than just around the house) for about a month.
7. We waited 2.5 months before having sex and it was a little uncomfortable but not painful.
8. I'm now 7 months pp and my body is definitely different than before but I'm not uncomfortable or in pain.

7lb 1oz baby, 2nd degree tears, 1.5 hours of pushing w/ an epidural.

all the nurses and doctors told me how awesome it was that I only had second degree tears. they said that's really uncommon for a first time mom, but I don't know if I buy that. this all led me to believe recovery would be super easy, and it was, except it took about 6 months for sex to be bearable and 8 months for it to be pleasurable. still breastfeeding at 11 months.

I bled for about 8 weeks but by the last two it was mostly spotting. I pooped a few days after coming home from the hospital but kept taking colace for a while. I took ibuprofen every 12 hours for at least the first week or two home.

I've posted about this here before, but seeing a compassionate OB about pain during sex postpartum really helped and I would highly recommend talking to your doc about this if it's a problem. There are things you can do to help this!

8lb 3oz vaginal birth with a second degree labial tear.

1. I was out of bed within 2 hours of the epidural being discontinued, though my left leg was somewhat numb for almost 2 days.
3. After being home for 2 days, I "overdid" it by making a sandwich and started bleeding heavily. Went to the ED and was ok, though.
2. Pooped within a few days, but I took psyllium capsules for a few weeks because my hemorrhoids were awful. Hemorrhoids resolved within a month or so.
3. I was able to pee ok but was somewhat incontinent at first (peed my pants just before hospital discharge) and still have some stress incontinence.
4. I bled for 6 weeks. Used numbing spray and witch hazel pads for about 3 weeks.
5. I had a terrible UTI about 10 days after delivery with a high fever, chills, tachycardia, the works. Didn't help that it coincided with my MIL's visit.
6. It took longer than 6 weeks for me to "recover." Stitches took about a month to heal. My pelvic floor and vagina were still a mess at the 6 week appointment despite pelvic floor exercises and Kegels.
7. Sex remains infrequent. Didn't get my drive back until I weaned after extended breastfeeding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4th degree tear here.

Had some trouble sitting for a couple weeks after and of course they wouldn't let me exercise or anything for 8 weeks. But otherwise everything healed fine.

Are you considering a c-section?

I'm totally game for having one if the doctor suggests it. Is that recovery any easier?

I was really surprised at how quickly I recovered from the C section. I was released after 48 hours and was made pancakes the next morning. Never needed any pain meds other than Advil. I know others have wildly different stories so I felt very lucky.

After my 4th degree tear, and given the way that I tore (from the inside out before the baby was even through), my midwife suggested I consider a C section.

I struggled with the decision, and ended up getting a C section at 40 weeks.

I don't have any regrets.

OP after my first delivery I felt like I'd been hit by a truck (though nothing compared to yours). Second delivery was so much easier - very little recovery required. More than likely, you've already been through the hard part.

I had an episiotomy and a tear on top of it with my first (under 7 lbs) and recovery was miserable because of the tear. Hard to sit, etc.

I since had four more kids vaginally, largest 9.5 lbs, next largest 8 lbs 13 oucnes, minimal scratches and easy breezy recoveries.

Anonymous wrote:Some of that sounds like you may have had an infection, or something else was going on (low blood pressure, IVs etc.). Maybe you had a reaction to the pain medication? Epidurals can cause some of those symptoms.

The other stuff sounds within the range of normal as far as childbirth aftermath goes. It is a very wide range. The second birth usually goes better (not always, but usually). GL

Nope, no infection or anything. The IVs were for the low blood pressure. No adverse reaction to medicine.
I wouldn't be surprised if it had to do with the epidural. I had a lot! I'd do that part all over again though. I didn't feel a thing and it was glorious!

Some of that sounds like you may have had an infection, or something else was going on (low blood pressure, IVs etc.). Maybe you had a reaction to the pain medication? Epidurals can cause some of those symptoms.

The other stuff sounds within the range of normal as far as childbirth aftermath goes. It is a very wide range. The second birth usually goes better (not always, but usually). GL

OP, that sounds rough and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'll offer my two cents in case anyone out there is scared of episiotomy. I had (what I consider to be) a necessary episiotomy, because I started to tear sideways and my baby was having some troubling decels (not recovering as well as she should have been after each contraction). So my OB cut me to prevent a sideways tear and to get the baby out fast. I was told it was equivalent to a second degree tear. The little sideways skid mark stung worse than any pain I felt in my perineum. My only real complaint about postpartum pain was my inability to "scoot" in bed to sit up or get positioned in bed without discomfort. I was surprised at the total lack of abdominal strength I had - which is normal and could have been anticipated. So I had to do a lot of maneuvering on my butt that hurt.

I have a very low pain tolerance and took all the drugs I was given, and did not have trouble stopping the meds once they ran out. At one week postpartum, I was fine for all regular, non-strenuous, household activities. I will say that sex was uncomfortable for a very long time and still isn't 100% pleasurable a full year out, even with lube and being aroused. But I think I'm an outlier there.

OP I had almost exactly the same experience as you the first time around. 4th degree tear and a REALLY rough recovery. No sex without pain for about a year.
I'm happy to report that baby #2 was even bigger, but came out easily and with virtually zero tearing! They also took the opportunity to patch up/remove some scar tissue around the previous stitches after delivery since I was all numbed up.
Good luck!!

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to offer that the idea that C-section recovery is not always harder than a vaginal delivery. My three friends who had scheduled Caesareans were all back to the gym/running pretty quick and had fast recoveries. My vaginal birth was awful and I'm still recovering. So do what's best for you.

+1. You're sounds like an unusually difficult recovery OP but my c-section recovery was much simpler than my vaginal delivery.