Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, one ex. He made a "grand gesture" (showed up, in person!) confession of love when he found out I was engaged; I've been married for 8 years and he still occasionally sends (presumably drunk) emails / texts / voicemails from time to time. At this point I just ignore them, it seems like the kindest thing to do.

The thing is, we only dated for about 2 years and it was in our early 20s. I have zero doubt I'd disappoint the heck out of him if we were actually together; he's built it up in his head.

+1 this could be me. Same scenario except I'm engaged now and just received both a message that says he misses me as well as a late night phone call from him that I declined to answer. We broke up over 3 years ago!

Ohhh the laws of attraction...!

Anonymous wrote:Yes, one ex. He made a "grand gesture" (showed up, in person!) confession of love when he found out I was engaged; I've been married for 8 years and he still occasionally sends (presumably drunk) emails / texts / voicemails from time to time. At this point I just ignore them, it seems like the kindest thing to do.

The thing is, we only dated for about 2 years and it was in our early 20s. I have zero doubt I'd disappoint the heck out of him if we were actually together; he's built it up in his head.

+1 this could be me. Same scenario except I'm engaged now and just received both a message that says he misses me as well as a late night phone call from him that I declined to answer. We broke up over 3 years ago!

Yes. My first college boyfriend saw me as the one that got away. He was a great guy but I was never totally in love with him. I know this because more than 20 years later after his wife died, he sent me a letter. Not trying to restart anything (he knew I was married and his life was full with a young child to raise) but to reconnect with important people in his life having lost the most important one in his life.

Yes. I had an ex who worshiped the ground I walked on. We were in love, engaged and had been together since high school. And then one summer I just walked out. I really thought I could do better and he was emotionally abusive to me. He played a lot of mind games and spent way too much money. I did find a much better man.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, since I wouldn't marry him he got a mail-order bride from Korea. I'm not even Korean.

Dude. The same thing happened to one of my Korean American friends from college. He was some fat weirdo that felt entitled to an Asian partner. He stalked her for half of college. And then afterwards got a Korean mail-order bride.

It's interesting that this thread is so much more popular than the "who's the one that got away for you" thread. Could be 1) This site in majority female, and I do think women tend to be less sentimental than men 2) People like to think of themselves in the power position, rather than dwelling on their romantic failures. One is more fun that the other.

This is a great point.

I have three ex-girlfriends that have told mutual friends they were each my "one that got away". Not one of them was BTW.

Yes but it never would have worked out. Her husband is better for her.

I think there are fewer responses on the other thread because there was a similar one about a month ago. I can't find it, but I remember responding.

My first, very intense high school love. We tried to rekindle things several times until we were in our late twenties, but we lived in different places and have major incompatibilities that weren't evident when we were super young and in love. If anything, our personalities, values, and lifestyles continued to diverge. He indicated that it was painful for him to stay in touch, and that he hasn't found a woman who has captivated him like I did. We're now in our mid-thirties and I'm married with a child; he is single. He doesn't want the "me of today" back, he wants the "late teens me". I still dream about him. The dreams bring up all the feelings I haven't felt since then. But he's not my one that got away, that is my second love, with whom I shared a less passionate but ultimately stronger and closer bond.

Yes, I am. Me, married for 28 years and love my life! He, working on his third marriage and contacts me via mutual friends (meaning, shows up at family events he should not be at) just to say hi. It's kind of sad, he should have "manned" up and stop being a momma's boy when I told him to… no regrets on my part, but I do have a soft spot in my heart for him. I hope he finds happiness.

Actually I am. I dated a woman in college (different schools) and grad school who broke up with me after our first year out. She said she wanted to experience "new things." In other words, she was infatuated with someone else. I was devastated as I thought we were destined to always be together. It was a blessing for me in that I met my wife soon after and 15 years and 2 kids later, life is good. My ex's relationship never panned out and she has never married. We are friends on Facebook and she often complains about the lack of good men and laments that she cannot find anyone. I still get periodic late night Facebook messages from her apologizing and such. She is very close to my sister and my sister tells me that she always thought she could have her fun and I would take her back. She never anticipated that I would move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think so, for a guy I dated fresh out of college when I first moved to DC. He was 25 years older than me and I was very in love with him, but it was my first real relationship. He was too freaked out by the age difference and broke up with me. I was crushed, but I'm glad he did it. I know he regrets it and misses me.

Ha! Common reaction. What can I say, sometimes you can't help who you fall for. I still find him attractive but I definitely dodged a bullet.

Anonymous wrote:I think so, for a guy I dated fresh out of college when I first moved to DC. He was 25 years older than me and I was very in love with him, but it was my first real relationship. He was too freaked out by the age difference and broke up with me. I was crushed, but I'm glad he did it. I know he regrets it and misses me.

I wonder sometimes. Another guy in our circle of friends asked me out about the same time I started dating my husband...and has for 30 years since always gone out of his way to be kind and solicitous in a way that he isn't with others. I'm always flattered that he draws me out and wants to know the details about what I am doing and how I feel about things. Such a nice guy, and I sometimes imagine the path not taken when my husband is grumpy and aloof and wrapped up in his work. Maybe he's the one who got away from me...

I think so, for a guy I dated fresh out of college when I first moved to DC. He was 25 years older than me and I was very in love with him, but it was my first real relationship. He was too freaked out by the age difference and broke up with me. I was crushed, but I'm glad he did it. I know he regrets it and misses me.