Jeez. This whole transgender thing has really blown up in the past couple years, especially with teens. Do what you want with your own child but don't provide undergarments to another and don't sanction your 14 year old doing it either. She is a child and has no business sharing her underwear.

Anonymous wrote:I really, really hope you're aware of the very serious health effects of binding.

Op?

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should let Your DD give it to her friend. Why would you throw it away knowing another kid could use it? Let her get it from the trash and pass it along. You're not homophobic but you're being a jerk for not understanding why your child wants to help her friend.

Ummm no

This entire thread aside, you do not give or buy someone else's child an undergarment, bra, binder, underwear etc without the parents consent, unless it is a close family friend and you know the boundaries of that family.

NP here.

I am not a big believer in the whole Transgender thing. I do not believe anyone can truly change their sex. I'm not on that bandwagon.

However.
How reasonable is it to force someone to conform to gender norms? Health concerns aside, how is it more moral to make a teen wear a bra that will present her breasts one way or another? How is it not totally creepy to say you must wear this or that type of undergarment so that your breasts will appear to others as female breasts?

I am a tall and flat chested female. If I had short hair, I might be mistaken for a boy. That doesn't mean I shouldn't cut my hair or that it is my moral responsibility to wear garments that identify me as female. It's really nobody's business.

I say let your daughter have the binder and she can do what she wants with it. This does not create a moral compromise to OP. It's just a garment.

Anonymous wrote:The reason "grandpa" can recognize it as a pop trend is because he's old enough and wise enough to have seen silly sh!t like this before.

It is indeed a pop trend. A couples decades from now, 99% of these kids who are identifying as GNC are gonna be married to opposite sex spouses with kids of their own, living completely normal cliched boring lives. And worrying about whatever dumbass pop trend their own kids will be torturing them with.

But you don't get that yet, because you're still blinded by the all knowing arrogance of youth. Don't worry. Odds are you'll live long enough to recognize what an idiot you are now, today.

I don't see how any of this rant is relevant. Her daughter isn't using it any more and should be able to pass it along. Who cares if these kids are on to new trends in threee weeks. The mom is being a jerk for no particular reason. To compare a bra type thing to an abortion is insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should let Your DD give it to her friend. Why would you throw it away knowing another kid could use it? Let her get it from the trash and pass it along. You're not homophobic but you're being a jerk for not understanding why your child wants to help her friend.

Not at all.

As a parent you do not buy certain things for other people's kids without their knowledge or permission: underwear, booze, birth control, drugs, abortion, make up...

Just because it is related to the current pop trends does not mean responsible parenting goes out the window.

Pop trends? Okay, grandpa. OP isn't asking about buying drugs for her daughter's friend. The daughter wants to give an outgrown piece of clothing to her friend and her mother is being wasteful and cruel by throwing it in the trash instead.

A binder is something much more controversial than a Christmas sweater.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTH is a binder?

OP explained it. It's a compression device, often like a sports bra, used to minimize breasts.

OP, I don't get why you're refusing to let DD pass the binder on to someone else. What if DD had a friend who needed a bra, but her parents felt like she was too young to wear a bra. Would you allow DD to pass a bra on to her friend in that situation?

Absolutely not. It is not appropriate to give underwear, especially without the parents' consent.

Furthermore, the binder is a garment used to change one's sexual appearance, and as such is highly controversial. Would you want another adult to enable your child like this without your consent??? I think not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should let Your DD give it to her friend. Why would you throw it away knowing another kid could use it? Let her get it from the trash and pass it along. You're not homophobic but you're being a jerk for not understanding why your child wants to help her friend.

Not at all.

As a parent you do not buy certain things for other people's kids without their knowledge or permission: underwear, booze, birth control, drugs, abortion, make up...

Just because it is related to the current pop trends does not mean responsible parenting goes out the window.

Pop trends? Okay, grandpa. OP isn't asking about buying drugs for her daughter's friend. The daughter wants to give an outgrown piece of clothing to her friend and her mother is being wasteful and cruel by throwing it in the trash instead.

It is not simple clothing. It is underwear. A bra. Just because you call it a binder does not make it any less underwear designed for a woman's breasts.

And yes, this is a pop trend. It will pass, just like all the other pop trends that teens go through to shock the grown ups. For all but a tiny handful of kids, this is a shock trend along the lines of tramp stamps, belly button rings, and mohawks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason "grandpa" can recognize it as a pop trend is because he's old enough and wise enough to have seen silly sh!t like this before.

It is indeed a pop trend. A couples decades from now, 99% of these kids who are identifying as GNC are gonna be married to opposite sex spouses with kids of their own, living completely normal cliched boring lives. And worrying about whatever dumbass pop trend their own kids will be torturing them with.

But you don't get that yet, because you're still blinded by the all knowing arrogance of youth. Don't worry. Odds are you'll live long enough to recognize what an idiot you are now, today.

?

? Should be

Anonymous wrote:The reason "grandpa" can recognize it as a pop trend is because he's old enough and wise enough to have seen silly sh!t like this before.

It is indeed a pop trend. A couples decades from now, 99% of these kids who are identifying as GNC are gonna be married to opposite sex spouses with kids of their own, living completely normal cliched boring lives. And worrying about whatever dumbass pop trend their own kids will be torturing them with.

But you don't get that yet, because you're still blinded by the all knowing arrogance of youth. Don't worry. Odds are you'll live long enough to recognize what an idiot you are now, today.

?

The reason "grandpa" can recognize it as a pop trend is because he's old enough and wise enough to have seen silly sh!t like this before.

It is indeed a pop trend. A couples decades from now, 99% of these kids who are identifying as GNC are gonna be married to opposite sex spouses with kids of their own, living completely normal cliched boring lives. And worrying about whatever dumbass pop trend their own kids will be torturing them with.

But you don't get that yet, because you're still blinded by the all knowing arrogance of youth. Don't worry. Odds are you'll live long enough to recognize what an idiot you are now, today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should let Your DD give it to her friend. Why would you throw it away knowing another kid could use it? Let her get it from the trash and pass it along. You're not homophobic but you're being a jerk for not understanding why your child wants to help her friend.

Not at all.

As a parent you do not buy certain things for other people's kids without their knowledge or permission: underwear, booze, birth control, drugs, abortion, make up...

Just because it is related to the current pop trends does not mean responsible parenting goes out the window.

Pop trends? Okay, grandpa. OP isn't asking about buying drugs for her daughter's friend. The daughter wants to give an outgrown piece of clothing to her friend and her mother is being wasteful and cruel by throwing it in the trash instead.

Did she actually call you a homophobe? Or say you are supporting homophobic behavior? They are two very different things to me. One would require an apology and the other would just get an eyeroll.

Just stand strong on your view point. You bought it, you don't feel comfortable giving undergarments to somebody else's minor child. Plus, they "can" be damaging if too small. You can't take that responsibility for someone else's kid.

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should let Your DD give it to her friend. Why would you throw it away knowing another kid could use it? Let her get it from the trash and pass it along. You're not homophobic but you're being a jerk for not understanding why your child wants to help her friend.

Not at all.

As a parent you do not buy certain things for other people's kids without their knowledge or permission: underwear, booze, birth control, drugs, abortion, make up...

Just because it is related to the current pop trends does not mean responsible parenting goes out the window.

Of course you should let Your DD give it to her friend. Why would you throw it away knowing another kid could use it? Let her get it from the trash and pass it along. You're not homophobic but you're being a jerk for not understanding why your child wants to help her friend.