Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 16:00     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
When I told my mother that I had broken the $200k salary, she told me that I was vulgar to brag. I thought she would be pleased. Since then, I don't mention money other than to ask how much I owe for the pizza
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 16:00     Subject: Re:Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.


Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???


H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:58     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.


You sound like my twin.



I see your point, but with the stock market going gangbusters this year (up 14 percent), it's smarter to invest your cash than take on a loan that is likely costing you no more than 2-3 percent (and many times 0 percent when dealers are having events). My investment accounts are going bonkers and I've made much more money than I would save by buying a car with cash.


I get it, but we have plenty of investments and it really simplifies the car buying process if you don't need financing. Plus loans on used cars (which we usually buy) are often higher. Plus it's one less electronic payment to manage each month. And just mentally it feels good to be debt free outside of our mortgage.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:57     Subject: Re:Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
It's hard to say.

We live well (vacations, nice home, nice cars) but do it off of my husbands salary. I have a trust fund- other than my family only my best friend knows. In a sense we live WELL below our means, but we aren't conspicuous- in other words, we live in an area where the "things" we have blend right in.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:57     Subject: Re:Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.


Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:56     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.


Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.



Totally. I don't every assume SAHMs are wealthy unless there is a ton of OTT factors at play


Really? Huh. Interesting. I am the opposite, I usually assume their husbands must make a lot of $$$$$ Most of the SAHMs I know have cleaning ladies, part time or even full time nannies, houses in "good" school districts, expensive cars (50k + SUVs), pricey gym memberships and exercise classes (pure barre etc.) and kids are in private preschool and extracurriculars.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:54     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.


Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.



+1. My first thought would be "you are loaded down with debt."


+3



I don't understand this. You can't pay for a lot of things with debt.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:52     Subject: Re:Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:47     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.


Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.



+1. My first thought would be "you are loaded down with debt."


+3

Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:44     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.


You sound like my twin.



I see your point, but with the stock market going gangbusters this year (up 14 percent), it's smarter to invest your cash than take on a loan that is likely costing you no more than 2-3 percent (and many times 0 percent when dealers are having events). My investment accounts are going bonkers and I've made much more money than I would save by buying a car with cash.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:43     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:I do. I don't want money or material things to define me. I want people to know me for me and not because I have money. I don't dress in designer clothing and went to meet my mother at Saks Fifth Avenue one day. The difference in how I was treated when they didn't think I had money, to how I was treated when they found out who my mother was is astounding. I don't want to be treated differently.


but you were?
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:41     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.


You sound like my twin.

Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:38     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:37     Subject: Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Anonymous wrote:I don't think your NYC DC comparisons are apt. The NYC example is hiding because of discomfort/embarrassment at her good fortune. A slumlord is not uncomfortable about his wealth, he is trying to get away with something.


Good point, they hide their wealth for different reason, but they still hide their wealth. There must be other examples, and I do know that the two areas do not usually have parallel comparisons.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 15:29     Subject: Re:Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...
Already a thread on this in the Money and Finances forum.