Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was close to allowing uber for my 15yo. But last week a friend's young adult daughter had a very troubling experience. The driver insisted she sist in the front, said he wouldn't charge her, and kissed her right off the bat with no warning or explanation. She shrunk away and phoned a male friend and told him what was happening to pass the time on the short drive. The driver said hey, he would not have done that if he had known she had a boyfriend (like that matters). He delivered her to her destination and offered to drive her home later. She said no but he texted her at 4:00am (he had her cell number bc there was a snafu in the original booking or something) asking where she was and if she needed a ride. She was afraid to go back to the house where he had picked her up. He probably was lurking there at 4:00am. I would go with Red Top or some other reputable cab company instead.

HAS THIS BEEN REPORTED TO POLICE AND UBER????

Yeah, and is she underage?

well you can also pay someone more to help you drive but also grocery shop, or do laundry or something else to fill their time, we also do carpools (even some that require people to be dropped off early but they are together) or hire neighbor kid.

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was close to allowing uber for my 15yo. But last week a friend's young adult daughter had a very troubling experience. The driver insisted she sist in the front, said he wouldn't charge her, and kissed her right off the bat with no warning or explanation. She shrunk away and phoned a male friend and told him what was happening to pass the time on the short drive. The driver said hey, he would not have done that if he had known she had a boyfriend (like that matters). He delivered her to her destination and offered to drive her home later. She said no but he texted her at 4:00am (he had her cell number bc there was a snafu in the original booking or something) asking where she was and if she needed a ride. She was afraid to go back to the house where he had picked her up. He probably was lurking there at 4:00am. I would go with Red Top or some other reputable cab company instead.

This. Jesus, find time to take care of your kids. Stop putting there safety in stranger's hands. This is getting ridiculous in the DC area. I can't count the number of times DH or I have dropped whatever we were doing to get our kid because a parent sent an uber to pick DD up with her friend. Get off your ass, fix your schedule and take care of your kid. They actually need your guidance here, not some stranger.

Anonymous wrote:Cut back on the craziness.

+1

Regardiing Uber (and Lyft), there is a web site that collects news accounts of assaults, deaths, rapes, and other crimes related to Uber or Lyft drivers.

www.whosdrivingyou.org

This site clearly says it belongs to an organization of taxi and limo companies so it's not hiding its bias. But the links take you directly to stories in newspapers, TV stations and other news outlets, so the organization isn't making up these reports, just linking to news.

I know Uber fans don't want to hear this stuff but these stories are the reason I would be very leery of using services like these especially for a kid or teen.

Before someone leaps in to say, "You're a taxi driver" or whatever, no, I'm not. I just don't see how parents can say yes to activities that are so far or conflict with other things so badly that the ONLY option is a service like these. I'm not about denying kids the chance to do things that are great for them, but I also don't buy the idea that it's fine to pop a kid or teen into some stranger's car just because an easy app lets you do so.

Anonymous wrote:Almost all of us with multiple kids are having similar problems. or each kid, the schedule is not excessive but you put three or more together and it's practically undoable.

YES, this! For my kids, my rule has always been, one physical activity or sport, and one arts-related activity. When they were younger, it meant 3 kids x 2 = 6 activities. Mostly local, lots of overlap.

Now they're older, activities are more specialized and intense. So my son's 2-hour / week commitment with everything in the neighborhood has turned into a 6+ hour/week commitment with much more driving. Same for my daughter's dance and the other's acting. And of course nothing is quite near enough to anything else, or otherwise the schedules conflict. I didn't let my son do NCSL (he's doing SAM league, which is less crazy and no tournaments,) my daughter wasn't allowed to do the dance team, just the classes -- but it's still just crazy logistics. Sometimes I find carpools but sometimes I don't. Love my kids and they have my full support, but I wish it weren't a hassle and there were better solutions out there.

Aside from Care.com or neighborhood listservs, any ideas of where to find an afternoon driver / nanny?

My problem is not with teens but preteens. I have no problem making my mature and responsible eighth grader take the bus minutes to and from theater practice; but for a longer route or for his eleven-year-old sister, the bus is impractical.

Seems like a lot of us are in the same boat.

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was close to allowing uber for my 15yo. But last week a friend's young adult daughter had a very troubling experience. The driver insisted she sist in the front, said he wouldn't charge her, and kissed her right off the bat with no warning or explanation. She shrunk away and phoned a male friend and told him what was happening to pass the time on the short drive. The driver said hey, he would not have done that if he had known she had a boyfriend (like that matters). He delivered her to her destination and offered to drive her home later. She said no but he texted her at 4:00am (he had her cell number bc there was a snafu in the original booking or something) asking where she was and if she needed a ride. She was afraid to go back to the house where he had picked her up. He probably was lurking there at 4:00am. I would go with Red Top or some other reputable cab company instead.

HAS THIS BEEN REPORTED TO POLICE AND UBER????

Lots of kids at my dds high school use uber. They usually share one with another kid who lives near them so they're not alone. DD hasn't because we have carpools and live within walking distance if she needs to walk home.

Try sending a note to the listserv in your neighborhood. There may be a nanny who gets off work just when you need them and would be happy for another hour or two of easy work. Or maybe a college student living at home. May be a long shot, but probably not more so than getting someone on Care.com who only wants 1-2 hours of work each day.

(I've also known someone personally who had a very bad encounter on Uber. It's amazing we don't hear more about it in the press, given all of the personal anecdotes.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both the White Flint and Bethesda areas are well served by public buses though admittedly the transit between the two areas is pretty poor but it doesn't sound like that is what OP needs.

I realize lots of folks in Bethesda think public transit is for other people but it is an affordable, safe and often convenient way to get around - no reason teens can't use it to get themselves to and from practices if the practices are near bus routes and in Bethesda there is a good chance they are.

NP here. I actually looked into public transportation after reading the Uber horror stories. The problem is that bus and metro take too long, especially if you are trying to get across Montgomery county east to west. The usual 20 minute drive by car becomes more than an hour.

You are right - the cross county transit options are terrible which is why the Purple Line is so important.

But I assume the OP lives in Bethesda and works in White Oak (FDA) but the kid likely needs to get around Bethesda which is fairly well served by Ride-On buses.

Anonymous wrote:Both the White Flint and Bethesda areas are well served by public buses though admittedly the transit between the two areas is pretty poor but it doesn't sound like that is what OP needs.

I realize lots of folks in Bethesda think public transit is for other people but it is an affordable, safe and often convenient way to get around - no reason teens can't use it to get themselves to and from practices if the practices are near bus routes and in Bethesda there is a good chance they are.

NP here. I actually looked into public transportation after reading the Uber horror stories. The problem is that bus and metro take too long, especially if you are trying to get across Montgomery county east to west. The usual 20 minute drive by car becomes more than an hour.

Both the White Flint and Bethesda areas are well served by public buses though admittedly the transit between the two areas is pretty poor but it doesn't sound like that is what OP needs.

I realize lots of folks in Bethesda think public transit is for other people but it is an affordable, safe and often convenient way to get around - no reason teens can't use it to get themselves to and from practices if the practices are near bus routes and in Bethesda there is a good chance they are.

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was close to allowing uber for my 15yo. But last week a friend's young adult daughter had a very troubling experience. The driver insisted she sist in the front, said he wouldn't charge her, and kissed her right off the bat with no warning or explanation. She shrunk away and phoned a male friend and told him what was happening to pass the time on the short drive. The driver said hey, he would not have done that if he had known she had a boyfriend (like that matters). He delivered her to her destination and offered to drive her home later. She said no but he texted her at 4:00am (he had her cell number bc there was a snafu in the original booking or something) asking where she was and if she needed a ride. She was afraid to go back to the house where he had picked her up. He probably was lurking there at 4:00am. I would go with Red Top or some other reputable cab company instead.

NP. I know of two other teen girls/young adult women in our area who had similar experiences--not kisses but overly inquisitive and intrusive drivers who hit on them, basically. This is why my teen daughter will not be using these services, period. I arrange life so we drive her or she rides with adults we know well enough to carpool with them. OP, I get your situation, but I would pay a parent I know to carpool or drive my kid before I would use Uber, Lyft etc. No, we're not quaking, frightened helicopter parents; we just don't see the sense in putting a teen alone in a car with a stranger.

Almost all of us with multiple kids are having similar problems. For each kid, the schedule is not excessive but you put three or more together and it's practically undoable.

Can you drop one off early or have one stay in place late? A lot of times, there is class after class or game after game at the same location. Staying an hour late isn't fun, but would be safe in a situation like that (they could take homework or something).

Otherwise, I think I'd hire someone from a local university, but it gets expensive since they'd either want more than an hour of work, or else want to be paid for their own travel time to your house, not just the time they're with the kid. (I wouldn't hire a high school student if it requires beltway driving-- I'd want someone with more time behind the wheel for that.)

In the future, see if you can plan the schedule alongside that of a friend to give the kid similar opportunities as present but make a carpool easier.