Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a loon but my parents are very good natured kind people. She calls them and they listen politely and sometimes they even call her.

I actually think they dislike my brother's inlaws the most but they're even polite to them.

Now that my kids are older I've wondered these same things -- What if my child marries someone where I have nothing in common with the inlaws, etc. I hope that I can be as gracious as my parents have been.

I wish my parents were less gracious and stood up to my DH's mother. It's frustrating watching her manipulate everyone around her, including my parents. They try too hard not to rock the boat.

Anonymous wrote:My parents were open to having a relationship with my in-laws. My MIL quickly made it known she was not interested. My parents are open to sharing holidays and events for the kids. My MIL clearly grits her teeth through any joint gathering.

Thankfully, my DH gets it most of the time. Occasionally he's in denial about how closed off his mother is, but we manage.

This is my family exactly, except im the wife and my parents want NOTHING to do with my inlaws.

However, it doesn't bother us that my mother is closed off. She has a very full and actibe life with friends and travel. My ILs are very very different, kind of blue collar, they have nothing in common so why push the unatural. I don't even think my inlaws have a passport, but my parents have a house a bit south of Florence Italy. Two polar opposites.

My kids looove my inlaws. With them being more blue collar, holidays are super corny, tacky and a TON of fun.

My MIL is a loon but my parents are very good natured kind people. She calls them and they listen politely and sometimes they even call her.

I actually think they dislike my brother's inlaws the most but they're even polite to them.

Now that my kids are older I've wondered these same things -- What if my child marries someone where I have nothing in common with the inlaws, etc. I hope that I can be as gracious as my parents have been.

Mine are close and see each other frequently. We spend some holidays together, and my mom/MIL will go out for an occasional dinner together. We all live within 30 minutes of each other, and my parents and in-laws are about the same age, have similar interests, political views, social circles. It's nice that everyone gets along.

Anonymous wrote:My parents and in-laws live in the same town as we do but they have no real relationship but they are always very friendly when at family gatherings at our house. When my sister got married my parents made a point of having my IL's sit at their table along with their best friends which my IL's appreciated as they didn't know any of the other guests. I think it's an ideal relationship.

My inlaws refused to sit at the head table with my parents and all the grandparents at our wedding. I had/have no clue what that was about, but it was really embarrassing and everyone commented on it.

My parents and in-laws live in the same town as we do but they have no real relationship but they are always very friendly when at family gatherings at our house. When my sister got married my parents made a point of having my IL's sit at their table along with their best friends which my IL's appreciated as they didn't know any of the other guests. I think it's an ideal relationship.

My parents were open to having a relationship with my in-laws. My MIL quickly made it known she was not interested. My parents are open to sharing holidays and events for the kids. My MIL clearly grits her teeth through any joint gathering.

Thankfully, my DH gets it most of the time. Occasionally he's in denial about how closed off his mother is, but we manage.

My parents and my in-laws enjoy getting together with each other way more than they like seeing us. They are older--70s and 80s.

My in-laws were funding the rehearsal dinner and my mother was upset that my future MIL would not invite all of her friends to the rehearsal dinner. The invite list was already over 70 people which is crazy. My mother sent an email to her friends saying they wouldn't all be invited blaming my MIL. For some dumb reason my mother put my future MIL on the mailing list. My MIL forwarded it on to her son saying simply "I'm not sure how to deal with this." The issue never came up at the wedding and they were "friendly" but there has been no contact since except for at one baptism. A few months after the wedding I forwarded the email on to my mother but she never did apologize which is still an embarrassment to me. My MIL is incredibly sweet and generous to me and has never mentioned it again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. They live 1,000 miles apart and have nothing in common.

This, only it's 3000 miles. My parents are still unhappy from our wedding over 10 years ago (which they hosted and paid for) that my ILs didn't bother to come up to them after the wedding to say anything at all about the wedding, let alone a thank you for hosting...all the while my ILs were gleefully telling other guests how great it was that they only have sons so they never have to host a wedding.

OP here and I wish my parents would stand up for themselves like this. MIL was a complete monster during our wedding and my parents are always ready to forgive & forget. They know she's been terrible to me (and my DH as well), but they still feel the need to be kind to her, etc. It's maddening. It wouldn't bother me if it was on their own time, but they visit me once a year and insist on meeting up with her, etc.

Anonymous wrote:None. They live 1,000 miles apart and have nothing in common.

This, only it's 3000 miles. My parents are still unhappy from our wedding over 10 years ago (which they hosted and paid for) that my ILs didn't bother to come up to them after the wedding to say anything at all about the wedding, let alone a thank you for hosting...all the while my ILs were gleefully telling other guests how great it was that they only have sons so they never have to host a wedding.

None. After all the years, I think it's better this way.

None. And it's hard. My parents live with us and it's hard to leave them on Christmas and thanksgiving (every other one) to go to my in laws. I wish they could all eat together.

My parents and ILs were very close. It was really hard on my parents when both my ILs died suddenly. They were so close that we spent every holiday with them together and they often made plans as a foursome to go to dinner, etc. however I have wonderful parents and awesome ILs.

None - they've never met, emailed, or spoken to one another