Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. DCUM will give you hell. They did the time I posted I was sad my mom, dad, and DH all forgot my birthday. Be ready to be called a narcissist.

But really, when that happens to me (all to often), I buy myself something nice.

Yes, people poo poo birthdays on here but we celebrate them. It's one day out of a year. I think it's fine for someone to spoil you -even in a small way- one day. With my DH, I had to make expectations very explicit with re to holidays and birthdays. Not in terms of gifts and what not. I don't expect big gifts. But, I do expect it to be acknowledge in some way (as I do for all of my family members).

Op, stop playing the martyr and setting your family up for it

We don't make a big deal over birthdays but at least we recognize them with cards, a present or two and a special dinner. I'd be upset if no one cared.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you got the cake and the card in your follow up post. That sounds like how most people celebrate grown up birthday. I wonder why you misled in your original post, making us think they completely forgot to even congratulate you?

+1. Seriously.

I hear you OP. My DH is not a planner and grew up in a family that didn't make a big deal out of celebrations. I just know I need to do the planning myself. I tell him where I want to go and normally make the reservations and call the babysitter myself. I wish there was more surprise but in the end I get what I want and he is relieved that I get the night I want. It just doesn't occur to him to ask or plan.

If you wanted your normal pizza night but with a nice desert just come out and say "why don't we just celebrate my birthday after pizza night on Friday - I would like a chocolate cake this year."

I hear ya, OP. Sorry they did nothing on your actual bday. It's OK to be sad about that.

I like the suggestions that you give hints and ideas in advance. I hope that helps next year!

Anonymous wrote:So, we usually do pizza movie/game night on Fridays. A few minutes before I got home from work, my husband ran out and got some frozen pizza, a small cake and a card and made it home at the same time as I did. So my birthday wasn't completely forgotten but it was not a special Friday at all. I don't expect presents or a fancy dinner etc, just something thoughtful. Typically, there are a couple handmade cards and a treat with a candle. This is what I have come to expect in years past. That is all. I wanted to vent and I got to vent. Now back to enjoying the rest of the weekend.

OP, your kids are getting older and you are an adult. Speak up and tell them what you would like on your birthday. "Honey, kids, this year for my birthday we are going to get Chinese and watch a movie I pick. Don't make any plans that night. One of you also needs to get a special dessert: cupcakes or cheesecake would be great." or "This year I want to do something totally different for my birthday. I know money is tight so let's go on a picnic at that park we use to go to. The kids can help me make sandwiches and, honey, you will need to get the dessert."

The end.

Anonymous wrote: I posted this frequently, especially around Mother's Day and Christmas, this is how I handle it:

Me - honey don't forget my birthday/Mother's Day/anniversary is next weekend.

DH - oh yeah! .........

Me - i'm so excited to get the spa gift card/flowers/perfume/cards the kids made me and go to fav restaurant/movie/museum

DH - it's going to be a great day.


Then on the day, I get what I asked for, or a close substitute. Everybody is happy, the kids and DH are glad that they did something good for me, and I got exactly what I wanted. And we always have a great day

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you got the cake and the card in your follow up post. That sounds like how most people celebrate grown up birthday. I wonder why you misled in your original post, making us think they completely forgot to even congratulate you?

I'm wondering if OP likes being a victim. Has an idea of how she wants her birthday to go, but does nothing to make that happen. Everyone around her is being secretly tested. When they don't measure up to these hidden expectations, she gets to play the victim who makes all these sacrifices for everyone else. No one was as kind and thoughtful as she has been for everyone else's birthday. Poor OP.

Anonymous wrote:So, we usually do pizza movie/game night on Fridays. A few minutes before I got home from work, my husband ran out and got some frozen pizza, a small cake and a card and made it home at the same time as I did. So my birthday wasn't completely forgotten but it was not a special Friday at all. I don't expect presents or a fancy dinner etc, just something thoughtful. Typically, there are a couple handmade cards and a treat with a candle. This is what I have come to expect in years past. That is all. I wanted to vent and I got to vent. Now back to enjoying the rest of the weekend.

You got cake and a card and that's not special enough? You're an adult, no? Should he have rented a bounce castle too?

I posted this frequently, especially around Mother's Day and Christmas, this is how I handle it:

Me - honey don't forget my birthday/Mother's Day/anniversary is next weekend.

DH - oh yeah! .........

Me - i'm so excited to get the spa gift card/flowers/perfume/cards the kids made me and go to fav restaurant/movie/museum

DH - it's going to be a great day.


Then on the day, I get what I asked for, or a close substitute. Everybody is happy, the kids and DH are glad that they did something good for me, and I got exactly what I wanted. And we always have a great day