My two kids seem intellectually average so far at 4.5 and 22 months.

Anonymous wrote:When your toddler starts talking in sentences at 18 months, but doesn't show reasoning of an older child--average

When your toddler loves books but isn't reading yet--average

When your toddler loves puzzles but isn't doing 100 piece ones yet--average

When your toddler can count to 20 but can't count the 12 buttons on the table--average

Genius kind of hits you in the face.

Above average smart kids do not necessarily hit you in the face, the same way genius kids do. Had you asked my parents if I was a genius, they would certainly say no. This is because I am not. At the same time, I consider myself above-average smart (IQ in 160s). There are no stories in my family about me reading at 2 or doing calculus at 4. I did start playing musical instruments at a young age, but that's about it. It's not before I went to school, that I realized that I "got" things a lot quicker than my peers.

To the OP: I am big believer in nurture. So, please OP, nurture your child and give her ample opportunities to develop. I am also a big believer in messaging. I hope you let your child develop, discover her strengths, and rise to her potential, without being given the message that she may just be average. While I do not advocate for empty praise, some healthy encouragement can go a long way. I hope your sweet 21 months old exceeds all your expectations, OP. In the mean time, enjoy your talker and your book lover.

I'm assuming my one year old is average, unless and until experts tell me otherwise. I don't compare her to other kids. All we know right now is that she is healthy and on track developmentally, and I count my blessings.

I realized that my kid averaged out to average at around 4 when his developmental delays were diagnosed. He's way ahead in some areas, average in other areas, and way behind in other areas. Averages out to average!

What do you mean by average? IQ?

I figure she'll be average but I just hope she's not a jerk and wants to keep learning.

Not a parent but just a preschool teacher... I have never had a parent of one of my students tell me their child was average. Not in over ten years. They all think their kid is bright.

So my observation is that parents realize their kid is just average after the age of five.

When your toddler starts talking in sentences at 18 months, but doesn't show reasoning of an older child--average

When your toddler loves books but isn't reading yet--average

When your toddler loves puzzles but isn't doing 100 piece ones yet--average

When your toddler can count to 20 but can't count the 12 buttons on the table--average

Genius kind of hits you in the face.

Your 21 month old loves to read?

Anonymous wrote:There are many different forms of intelligence beyond academic including artistic, creative, musical, athletic, social, etc. Schools focus on mostly one type of intelligence. Many very academically talented people, lack creativity or social skills. Look at all of your kids gifts before you diminish them.

Ditto. I'm PP who mentioned my son is generally average w/ a strength in math. I meant that he's average in academic skills. His real strength is his social skills. He's someone who is just very likable, makes friends easily, works well with others. I expect he will go far in life because of that more so than any academic strengths.

There are many different forms of intelligence beyond academic including artistic, creative, musical, athletic, social, etc. Schools focus on mostly one type of intelligence. Many very academically talented people, lack creativity or social skills. Look at all of your kids gifts before you diminish them.

Like others have said, your kid will probably be good at some things, and not as good at other things. Since this is an anonymous forum, I'll just come out and say it: My parents had to get my sister and me tested at a very young age (under 5 years old) to see if we qualified for a magnet program. My IQ came out at 147 and hers at 153 (so within the margin of error of each other). To my knowledge, that's within either the "highly gifted" or "genius" categories.

We both found school easy, but weren't at the top of our class in every subject. My sister still isn't a great speller, but she's about to finish a PhD program.

I graduated with honors from Andover, high honors from college, and honors in top grad program. I have my dream job and am excelling at it. That said, science and math never came as easily to me as it did to others. I was stronger in social sciences and the humanities.

My point is that even kids who are technically "highly gifted" will show strengths and weaknesses. I am not convinced that anyone is superior in every single academic discipline.

Very few people are 'geniuses". Most people are average, with strengths and weaknesses. And, they learn at different paces so it's really hard to tell your child's strengths/weaknesses at an early age.

I think we had a accurate sense of where our kids fell relative to peers by late elementary school but if I'd based it off what they were doing at age 4, DS would have looked much more like an academic super star than DD.

I'd say DS is about average but has some natural talent in math. He read early (about 3 yrs old) and enjoyed playing math games early on. Now he's a rising freshman, any early advantage in reading leveled out (he now hates to read) but he's still advanced in math.

DD I think is all around above-average in intelligence. She's deep thinker, creative, loves to read, write stories, think about science problems, gets all As in all advanced classes etc. But she didn't get the hang of reading until late in 1st grade. Once reading clicked for her she rapidly became proficient and by 6th grade was tested as reading at a college level.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know who linked language acquisition with intelligence. I talked late, but I started talking in full grammatically correct sentences. As an adult, I learn foreign languages easier than most. At the same time, I can only do basic middle school math and struggle with any type of analysis. As a high school junior, I failed miserably in Physics and Chemistry.

DH is a science genius who can barely spell and will never ever learn to speak a foreign language. Literally, explaining why his "no habla Espanol" should be "no hablo Espanol" is completely useless.

Your child will be good at something and bad at something else. So all this talk about "average" makes little sense to me. Do you mean you realize your child is not a prodigy of some sort? Won't finish school and go to Harvard at the age of 12? Who wants that, seriously?

This. Almost no one is good at everything. People have different strengths. Sometimes, people are truly brilliant in their field of expertise, whatever that is. My kid was an early talker, highly verbal, and an early reader. She's obviously a bright girl. But it's just too soon to tell how she's going to compare with others, and I just don't care.

The "gifted" label is thrown around like confetti these days -- so much so that it's become rather meaningless, really.

I'm teaching my kids to be polite, kind, thoughtful and civic-minded with the ability to hold a real back-and-forth, in-person conversation. All else will flow from there.