It worked great for DH and me. In fact I'd say it's been the best part of our very long marriage.

Anonymous wrote:No once habits are formed they are hard to break. People who want to have sex have it. No excuses...they just do it. Sorry to say but you will just find other reasons not to have sex.

+1. It won't magically reapear. You need to figure out and discuss the real reasons it isn't happening now. Teens in the house is just an excuse

We started with beginning to have open conversation about our sex life and what each other thought where we were and where we wanted to be. This led into a no holds barred question and answer session and we actually learned things about each other we didn't know before. Using this information we decided to also read a few books. Taking up the practice of enjoying touch and pleasure without "rushing to the end" has been a real treat. Our approach and perception of sex is completely different now. Needless to say we both very much enjoy and look forward to it now. We take the time to set up soft music, essential oil diffuser (lavender), and cold pressed refined coconut oil. Most of all we take our time, verbalize what we want, respect each other, and make sure she "gets there" first. It didn't happen over night

We dropped our youngest off at college a week ago and after a very long drive home I suggested to my DH that we go into the hot tub to help ease the soreness from a 10 hour drive. He was ready to fall into bed until I said "I meant naked in the hot tub". He said "I think I'm going to like being an empty nester" and I made sure he he did. Unlike the other pp we haven't yet made it to the kitchen but the hot tub will see a good amount of use.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, our sex life did improve once the kids were gone. Two primary reasons. First, we were able to be more spontaneous. When kids are in the house you often have to pre-arrange or "find" the time. With the kids gone, we can go whenever the mood hits. Second, with the kids gone we are just naturally spending more time together alone. That lends itself to the first point.

I agree with you but the real key is having the desire which luckily we did and still do. Without it the empty nest can get very lonely.

That's true and I should not have made that assumption.

Anonymous wrote:Well, our sex life did improve once the kids were gone. Two primary reasons. First, we were able to be more spontaneous. When kids are in the house you often have to pre-arrange or "find" the time. With the kids gone, we can go whenever the mood hits. Second, with the kids gone we are just naturally spending more time together alone. That lends itself to the first point.

I agree with you but the real key is having the desire which luckily we did and still do. Without it the empty nest can get very lonely.

Well, our sex life did improve once the kids were gone. Two primary reasons. First, we were able to be more spontaneous. When kids are in the house you often have to pre-arrange or "find" the time. With the kids gone, we can go whenever the mood hits. Second, with the kids gone we are just naturally spending more time together alone. That lends itself to the first point.

Anonymous wrote:Once we became empty nesters we spent more evenings out of the house doing fun things together. I can't say we classified them as date nights but it broke up the routine. Doing fun things together led to more sex. Staying at home, having dinner and then doing your own evening things gets very boring which extends itself into the bedroom. With kids at home we had sex once every week or so and now we are at 2x per week and sometimes three. It's a lot more fun because its just in an empty house so location and noise are not an issue. If my children knew that we had had sex in the kitchen they would be grossed out!

If you ever want to find some fun sex toys just open up a few kitchen drawers and use your imagination. Just stay away from sharp instruments.

Once we became empty nesters we spent more evenings out of the house doing fun things together. I can't say we classified them as date nights but it broke up the routine. Doing fun things together led to more sex. Staying at home, having dinner and then doing your own evening things gets very boring which extends itself into the bedroom. With kids at home we had sex once every week or so and now we are at 2x per week and sometimes three. It's a lot more fun because its just in an empty house so location and noise are not an issue. If my children knew that we had had sex in the kitchen they would be grossed out!

Sure. It becomes a little more spontaneous. But over the years medical issues on both sides come into play, so you adjust. I suppose it’s up to the individual as to how much importance is placed on having physical intimacy. We are wired differently! If we compare what we do with what others do, we’re bound to be dissatisfied. If we keep what we do in the privacy of our bedroom, then whatever we do is known only to us. Hope this lends a different perspective & helps in some way. Take care!

Oh yes, it does get better! We became empty nesters a week ago and on the drive home from dropping our son off my DH said something like now we can get back to being newlyweds. That triggered an interesting conversation around what you mean and it quickly got to the subject of sex. It turned out that while we have had a good sex life we both admitted that with kids at home it lacked newlywed or early dating sex. We arrived home around 9pm and we were in bed by around 9:15 behaving as though it was our first night together. We've had a couple of more nights like that and I hope it lasts!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It did get better but it had more to do with what we did then how often we did it. I use to almost hold my breath to keep quiet and that wasn't good for getting fulfilled. Now I don't care!

Man here - you sound like my DW. She would hold her breath and almost asphyxiate herself with a pillow rather than let any noise out. It drove me nuts because the sex was pretty bad and quick. We've been empty nesters for two years now and now she makes some very entertaining noises.

Breath play is a thing.

Anonymous wrote:It did get better but it had more to do with what we did then how often we did it. I use to almost hold my breath to keep quiet and that wasn't good for getting fulfilled. Now I don't care!

Man here - you sound like my DW. She would hold her breath and almost asphyxiate herself with a pillow rather than let any noise out. It drove me nuts because the sex was pretty bad and quick. We've been empty nesters for two years now and now she makes some very entertaining noises.

Anonymous wrote:It really depends. When you and your DH go on vacation (without kids) or just to a hotel for whatever reason do you have sex? If yes, then being an empty nester will help you out. If no, then having a teenager at home is just an excuse and being an empty nester is not the solution to your problem. When our kids lived at home, especially as teen agers, our sex life was just OK but put me in a hotel room with my DH and the mommy nightie came off. Now as an empty nester I can't say that we are back to pre-children frequency but we no longer close doors or try to muffle the noise.

OP here - we definitely have more sex when we are on vacation so may be there is hope.

Why don't you try initiaiting?