Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 13:01     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once a cheater, always a cheater. He just hasn't found the right person. Also, you only think he hasn't cheated. He could be having Nooners every day.


Not true.

If a partnership can't survive something like this that happened 5 yrs ago, it was never a true partnership.

I would talk it out at length and move past it. People change and life isn't so simple.


It was never a true partnership since he decided to cheat.


Yes and she doesn't know if he cheated again unless she did spot checks which is what she should do.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 12:56     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Anonymous wrote:Wife placed me well behind the kids in priority in the past but fixed it. Should I let it go?


How selfish. Wouldn't you want someone that is a good mother versus one that neglects her kids?

Be a big boy and take a back seat, kids do come first.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 11:37     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
I'd raise hell.
daisygirl
Post 08/29/2017 11:29     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
No. He cheated again after kids and emotionally abused me.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 11:07     Subject: Re:If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Anonymous wrote:I cheated on my wife early in the relationship and I haven't since. She doesn't know about it. She describes our relationship as perfect.

There are many, many undiscovered affairs and blissfully unaware partners. How he treats you now is more important than a mistake he made earlier.

Could he cheat again? Sure, but so could your next partner.


Similar situation here although we weren't married yet when it happened. Life blew up (unrelated to DW) and I handled it poorly. It's been about 8 years since that happened and we have an amazing marriage and wonderful kids. Other than that one time I haven't cheated.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 09:34     Subject: Re:If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Anonymous wrote:[/url]http://bit.ly/2wf34Qi will address your concern better than I would be able to.

You know your husband the best, and therefore know how to draw things out of him. It's a heart issue. How much does he value his vow to God and to you? Would he be repentant? Pray about this and ask for God's guidance.


The bible thumper board is down the street to the right
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 09:29     Subject: Re:If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Instant divorce. What does the kids have to do with this? He made a vow to you, to be faithful. He did not say, I will be faithful after kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 09:24     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Honestly, I'd probably insist we go to counseling but try to make it work out. I'm not interested in trying to raise my kids on my own without DH, unless there is really no other option.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 09:21     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?

Cheating should not be an immediate cause for divorce, if it's a one-time thing. Serial cheating is different.

People choose to process it on their own, through talking with their spouses, or a best friend, or priest, or therapist.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 09:18     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once a cheater, always a cheater. He just hasn't found the right person. Also, you only think he hasn't cheated. He could be having Nooners every day.


Not true.

If a partnership can't survive something like this that happened 5 yrs ago, it was never a true partnership.

I would talk it out at length and move past it. People change and life isn't so simple.


It was never a true partnership since he decided to cheat.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 09:17     Subject: Re:If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
[/url]http://bit.ly/2wf34Qi will address your concern better than I would be able to.

You know your husband the best, and therefore know how to draw things out of him. It's a heart issue. How much does he value his vow to God and to you? Would he be repentant? Pray about this and ask for God's guidance.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 06:23     Subject: Re:If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
I cheated on my wife early in the relationship and I haven't since. She doesn't know about it. She describes our relationship as perfect.

There are many, many undiscovered affairs and blissfully unaware partners. How he treats you now is more important than a mistake he made earlier.

Could he cheat again? Sure, but so could your next partner.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 00:23     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Anonymous wrote:Once a cheater, always a cheater. He just hasn't found the right person. Also, you only think he hasn't cheated. He could be having Nooners every day.


Not true.

If a partnership can't survive something like this that happened 5 yrs ago, it was never a true partnership.

I would talk it out at length and move past it. People change and life isn't so simple.
Anonymous
Post 08/28/2017 20:05     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would divorce him. I made that clear before we married.


But the context is everything's been great for years. It's tricky.


OP, are you the cheating spouse here? I get the vibe that you are.
Anonymous
Post 08/28/2017 19:47     Subject: If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?
How did this come to light?
How this was revealed would determine my response.