He is NOT a good father is he's spending all his x in his room and not helping out with household duties. He sounds like a perpetual teenager who is hiding from being an adult.

Anonymous wrote:Studies show divorced and breakups hit men harder emotionally. He's having issues coping and is likely depressed when he starts evaluating his choices. Men are usually stiffed in divorce proceedings and the fact his kids awfully be absent and he is going to be financially devastated for a while is probably weighing in his mind

This is also because women usually have better support groups while men depend on their wives for their social life.

You're separated. But you expect him to participate in the family. You can't have it both ways.

What do you want from him op? Do you want him to act like a happy partner, even though you are seperated? Your situation is untenable. If this was your idea, I'd have to say it's rather cruel and you guys need to figure out what you are doing. It's awful for the kids as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to move out.

Why? Does she have some kind of power over him? It's not her house.

Two words - restraining order.


He'll get out alright. The cops will haul his butt out. He can play Xbox in his car.

Based on what? He is not a threat to anybody.

It's not too difficult to come up with something. Besides, it's her word against his, and they default to issuing the order anyway. So there doesn't even neeed to be a threat. Just the possibly of it.

Yes, she should lie to the police. That's a brilliant idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to move out.

Why? Does she have some kind of power over him? It's not her house.

Two words - restraining order.


He'll get out alright. The cops will haul his butt out. He can play Xbox in his car.

Based on what? He is not a threat to anybody.

It's not too difficult to come up with something. Besides, it's her word against his, and they default to issuing the order anyway. So there doesn't even neeed to be a threat. Just the possibly of it.

When I separated I moved into a separate bedroom as well. I spent most of my time in there when I was home. We didn't have kids so I get that it's different, but I really did not want to interact with my XH. It was so incredibly awkward and weird with the divorce looming and all. I bet he is a better parent when he has his own place. Does he WANT to move out? Are you insisting he stay "for the kids"?

Of course he is depressed. This is an awful way to live. And a terrible example to set for your children. Break up or don't, but this is cruel to everyone.

Anonymous wrote:Studies show divorced and breakups hit men harder emotionally. He's having issues coping and is likely depressed when he starts evaluating his choices. Men are usually stiffed in divorce proceedings and the fact his kids awfully be absent and he is going to be financially devastated for a while is probably weighing in his mind

+1 dragging out a divorce is cruel. It holds the man in limbo with the dread hanging over them.

Was this seperation your idea, op? Why are you still living together after two years?

Anonymous wrote:
Perhaps you could use this to your advantage when negotiating custody, OP. Ask your lawyer.

Courts won't give a shit. It does not endanger the kids to hide in your room while they watch TV all evening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to move out.

Why? Does she have some kind of power over him? It's not her house.

Two words - restraining order.


He'll get out alright. The cops will haul his butt out. He can play Xbox in his car.

Two words: you're nuts.

Studies show divorced and breakups hit men harder emotionally. He's having issues coping and is likely depressed when he starts evaluating his choices. Men are usually stiffed in divorce proceedings and the fact his kids awfully be absent and he is going to be financially devastated for a while is probably weighing in his mind

Same situation here. Listen he is depressed. Let him be.

Just tell your kids, "you dad is your dad be kind". if they say, "why does dad do X" say "I don't know you should talk to him"

You are not responsible for his relationship with his kids. If he does not straighten out the kids will eventually not have a relationship with him. It's a bummer but reality.

Encourage him to date. Maybe he'll bring a lady home and find a new activity in his bedroom.