Anonymous wrote:Son does not just get to say "no" if you've developed a close relationship with this woman over five years. She is now your friend if you both want to keep in touch. Try to talk or get together when he's not around but don't make it a secret and don't inform on your son, to her, or vice versa.

LOL really? Would you be saying the same thing if it was your ex boy and your mother or father did the same? What is wrong with you people?

It's been 34 years since I broke up with my first real serious BF and I am still great friends with his mom, see her a couple times a year and she even came to my wedding. But at least to my knowledge she wasn't told to avoid me.

Anonymous wrote:Friend her on FB to stay in touch.

hahaha, future DIL will love this.

You leave it alone altogether. It's an adult relationship that ended, for whatever reasons that you are not privy to, nor should you be.

My mother managed to mangle her relationship with my brother over this. He broke up with his girlfriend of several years, when last we had heard they were talking marriage. The girlfriend proceeded to contact my mother and instead of politely extracting herself from the conversation or not answering the phone, my mother made it worse. When I told her she should not answer the phone again or contact the woman herself because my brother would see it as a betrayal, she went ahead and kept talking to her anyway.

As I predicted, my brother saw it as a betrayal and now, 2 years later, they are just starting to repair their relationship. It's been a long, awkward 2 years in my family.

Anonymous wrote:Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

He must have told her that you said that. So then she called you. She sounded great.

Anonymous wrote:Friend her on FB to stay in touch.

Even worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

I feel this way about my ex mother in law. I see her out from time to time and she is always so nice to me. I always feel like she and I have like this unspoken cavity between us that we each want to talk about but never do. She has said some very kind things to me when I would text her as XH and I were going through the annulment process (his new wife doesn't let him talk to me himself). I really did have wonderful in laws and I was very lucky. Given the situation with my ex, I've really struggled with the thought of one day she passes away, can I go to her wake or funeral, because I respect his new marriage yet I dearly love her.

I admire you attitude. Your x sounds like a dolt. I think it would be fine to pay your respects.

Son does not just get to say "no" if you've developed a close relationship with this woman over five years. She is now your friend if you both want to keep in touch. Try to talk or get together when he's not around but don't make it a secret and don't inform on your son, to her, or vice versa.

I seriously don't cry about my son's ex girlfriend. She was "Jessica Simpson with brains" but had family baggage that truly weighed her down. I felt sorry for her but I was happy my son moved on.

So many people need hobbies.

I went through this with my son. His girlfriend broke up with him his freshman year in college after going together 2 years. It's been 3 years and my son started dating someone new 6 months ago and guess what? We adore her. She may or may not be the one and yes I will be sad if they break up, but I know it is like any other breakup. Time will make it better.

I got a facebook message from out of the blue several years ago from my college boyfriends mom - basically just saying that she was thinking about me and looked me up on FB (I'm not FB friends with my ex.) It was a really sweet message, I responded kindly and I think we both let it rest after that.

It was very sweet, and actually provided some closure, even though everything happened many years ago. It was reassuring that she still had good memories of my time with her son, and that I left a good impression.

I'd say, wait 5 years or so, and then send a private message.

Anonymous wrote:Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

I feel this way about my ex mother in law. I see her out from time to time and she is always so nice to me. I always feel like she and I have like this unspoken cavity between us that we each want to talk about but never do. She has said some very kind things to me when I would text her as XH and I were going through the annulment process (his new wife doesn't let him talk to me himself). I really did have wonderful in laws and I was very lucky. Given the situation with my ex, I've really struggled with the thought of one day she passes away, can I go to her wake or funeral, because I respect his new marriage yet I dearly love her.

My BF and I broke up for reasons we never told our parents. Or at least we had agreed not to tell our parents (he might have). I'm so glad his mom never called me. It would have been so hurtful.

Anonymous wrote:Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

Yeah I had one like this too. Except she was so upset we both just sobbed down the phone.