Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my family's love languages is ribbing, teasing and joking with each other. I grew up with that too having 5 siblings and my DH grew up the same way. So it was a natural fit. You cannot be sensitive and live with us. It is not malicious and is often delivered with a chuckle and a smile. There is a lot of laughter in our house.

That being said, I realize that not everyone is built like us. Teasing can be mean-spirited and I get the sense that OP thinks her DH was crossing the line. In my view, I would tell the DH just that. "Hey, teasing and laughing is generally ok, but I felt you crossed the line last night. Here's why."

What is the need for an eye roll here? This is an honest and helpful response.

I am the PP of the post that got eye rolled. Don't worry about it. Some people on DCUM are just negative for no good reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my family's love languages is ribbing, teasing and joking with each other. I grew up with that too having 5 siblings and my DH grew up the same way. So it was a natural fit. You cannot be sensitive and live with us. It is not malicious and is often delivered with a chuckle and a smile. There is a lot of laughter in our house.

That being said, I realize that not everyone is built like us. Teasing can be mean-spirited and I get the sense that OP thinks her DH was crossing the line. In my view, I would tell the DH just that. "Hey, teasing and laughing is generally ok, but I felt you crossed the line last night. Here's why."

What is the need for an eye roll here? This is an honest and helpful response.

Anonymous wrote:One of my family's love languages is ribbing, teasing and joking with each other. I grew up with that too having 5 siblings and my DH grew up the same way. So it was a natural fit. You cannot be sensitive and live with us. It is not malicious and is often delivered with a chuckle and a smile. There is a lot of laughter in our house.

That being said, I realize that not everyone is built like us. Teasing can be mean-spirited and I get the sense that OP thinks her DH was crossing the line. In my view, I would tell the DH just that. "Hey, teasing and laughing is generally ok, but I felt you crossed the line last night. Here's why."

My husband and I make fun of each other all of the time. It's part of our rapport. It's not how all spouses interact, and some people think we're weird. You need to get on the same page with DH with this. There's no objective right and wrong, just what each couple is comfortable with.

My husband and I make fun of each other all of the time. It's part of our rapport. It's not how all spouses interact, and some people think we're weird. You need to get on the same page with DH with this. There's no objective right and wrong, just what each couple is comfortable with.

You know you just gave him even more power with your emotional reaction?

Agree with others here. Don't give it oxygen. Let the spark die without comment or fanfare. I traditionally just grin and shrug my shoulders or go get myself some more food. It's that I don't engage that ticks off DW more.

The other line I use is, "You're so much better than that. "

And remember, you came in here with your hot take. This room isn't an AA meeting. It's more like a "cheer-ocracy" to take the line from Bring It On.

One of my family's love languages is ribbing, teasing and joking with each other. I grew up with that too having 5 siblings and my DH grew up the same way. So it was a natural fit. You cannot be sensitive and live with us. It is not malicious and is often delivered with a chuckle and a smile. There is a lot of laughter in our house.

That being said, I realize that not everyone is built like us. Teasing can be mean-spirited and I get the sense that OP thinks her DH was crossing the line. In my view, I would tell the DH just that. "Hey, teasing and laughing is generally ok, but I felt you crossed the line last night. Here's why."

Not one size fits all here. I see my older sister and her family from the outside -- it feels like the kids and her husband pick on her too much. They're all in the form of teasing (e.g. being uncool, being the last to get a joke, that sort of thing). It all seems a little unfair. My sister isn't the quickest wit (and her husband has an exceptionally quick wit), but she's plenty smart; (straight "A"s through high school, graduated 5th in a class of 400).

So I get irritated when I see them picking on her. But, I have to remind myself that she doesn't seem to mind. And they are an exceptionally tight-knit family. It works for them.

It obviously doesn't work for you, OP. So, your husband should respect that. But, you shouldn't necessarily take it as a given that he ought to know that it doesn't work for you. Because, in some families, that's part of the love.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband laughs at me ... and I laugh at him. So it works out.

If you think family dinners are a bad idea, you probably shouldn't be married.

100% this. Nobody likes a person who can't laugh at herself when she does or says something silly or dumb.

NP and I somewhat agree. However, while DH and I laugh at and tease each other quite a bit, we have no problem stopping if the other says knock it off. You should be able to say "not now" when needed and have that be respected AND be able to laugh at yourself.

Anonymous wrote:My husband laughs at me ... and I laugh at him. So it works out.

If you think family dinners are a bad idea, you probably shouldn't be married.

100% this. Nobody likes a person who can't laugh at herself when she does or says something silly or dumb.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a harsh audience!

He apologized. I probably overreacted.

I do think family dinners are important.

But -- please tell me I am not the only one who sometimes think they are a pain.

This is not what I got from your post ... sounded more like husband bashing.

I love family dinners. No, I don't always like making dinner, sometimes we are cranky, tired, irritable, and some of us care more about manners than others and that causes friction. But all in all, it is a time we all come together and talk and share. I really do love it. It is an investment in your family.

Not sure what you want to be told here. Yes it was a jerky thing to do. It probably means he's not in the first flush of love anymore where your beloved can do know wrong. But are you going to divorce him over it? Swallow your pride and move on.

You sound dramatic.

You sound hyper sensitive. Do you happen to suffer from anxiety? I find that anxious and depressed people have a warped sense of reality and feel offended and attacked very easily.

We are going to need the word.