Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 22:17     Subject: Who pays for the trip?
Anonymous wrote:Friend wants to go on business trips to NYC. Her husband doesn't want her to go alone. She volunteered me. I can work from NYC as well as VA. But should my friend be the one paying for the housing costs? Or 50/50?

Decide what is your max willing to do....then just ask her what she had in mind. If it doesn't align be honest and decline. Who knows though, she might say that housing is on her and you can step up and offer what you feel is fair.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 22:14     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
Why doesn't he go w her?!

If my husband was worried about my safety he would come with me.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 21:58     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
Anonymous wrote:

B) He's concerned about safety not fidelity.



Seriously?! Does she not go anywhere unchaperoned in the DC area as well? How does she function in society and actually have a job if she can't take a work trip to NY by herself? If going to NY wasn't on your radar and you aren't super excited by the idea of it which it doesn't sound like you are, politely decline and be done with it.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 21:55     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
Anonymous wrote:OP Here -

A) Yeah, I could pay for it myself but NYC wasn't even on my radar for vacation this year and her DH can easily afford this which is why she's going.

B) He's concerned about safety not fidelity.

Again, I don't mind going. I just want to know if its 'okay' to ask the other party to pay for the rental/AirBnB because its not my idea or my personal vacation.


He need to let his baby grow up.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 21:45     Subject: Who pays for the trip?
If I were the friend who volunteered you to go, I would offer to pay for lodging, and you pay for your own food and other expenses.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 21:02     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
OP Here -

A) Yeah, I could pay for it myself but NYC wasn't even on my radar for vacation this year and her DH can easily afford this which is why she's going.

B) He's concerned about safety not fidelity.

Again, I don't mind going. I just want to know if its 'okay' to ask the other party to pay for the rental/AirBnB because its not my idea or my personal vacation.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 20:56     Subject: Who pays for the trip?
I'd assume to pay for my expenses including 1/2 of the hotel. Would be different if her work was paying for the room.

A way to finesse (if $ is an issue) is to ask her how much the room will be. Hesitate when she tells you how much and perhaps she will offer to pay.

Is her husband worried for her safety or fidelity?
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 20:45     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The more important question is why doesn't her husband think she can go alone on a business trip? And why is she acquiescing to his unreasonable demand? Is he overly controlling in other situations too?


+1

and NYC of all places. Not like she's spending the weekend in North Philly.


Agreed. Weird.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 20:38     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
Anonymous wrote:The more important question is why doesn't her husband think she can go alone on a business trip? And why is she acquiescing to his unreasonable demand? Is he overly controlling in other situations too?


+1

and NYC of all places. Not like she's spending the weekend in North Philly.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 20:03     Subject: Who pays for the trip?
Anonymous wrote:It sounds a business trip, but her company isn't paying and she needs to be chaperoned?


On the payment part, she could be self-employed or it may be something like an optional conference that her employer isn't prohibiting her from attending but doesn't intend to pay for either because they're not requiring her to go.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 20:02     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
I wouldn't go on a trip as a babysitter for a grown-ass woman, but if I took a trip with my friend to hang out with her in a fun city, I'd expect to pay my own way. Maybe they should pay you an hourly rate in addition to lodging? What's the going rate for babysitters in Manhattan these days?
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 19:57     Subject: Who pays for the trip?
It sounds a business trip, but her company isn't paying and she needs to be chaperoned?
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2017 19:31     Subject: Re:Who pays for the trip?
The more important question is why doesn't her husband think she can go alone on a business trip? And why is she acquiescing to his unreasonable demand? Is he overly controlling in other situations too?