Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 14:03     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:He was accused.

He's guilty.

Period.

File for divorce. Today.


Holy innocent until proven guilty! Please never EVER serve on a jury. Please instead use that time researching the Innocence Project.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 14:03     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.


It sounds like a man who is scared to death and trying to protect his wife to me.


Not trying to start an argument, but I'm genuinely curious what you mean by this. If they're looking for a DNA match and he knows it wasn't him, what's to be scared of? If I knew they were swabbing people because they had evidence I'd rush to the station to get my name off the list.


His wife completely flipping out and kicking him out of his home?
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 14:03     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.


It sounds like a man who is scared to death and trying to protect his wife to me.


Not trying to start an argument, but I'm genuinely curious what you mean by this. If they're looking for a DNA match and he knows it wasn't him, what's to be scared of? If I knew they were swabbing people because they had evidence I'd rush to the station to get my name off the list.


OP here, that is what I would do as well. If I wasn't guilty of a crime, yet was being accused, I would want to get it over and done with and move on. If I was guilty, I would do as he is doing. Evade police, not inform my spouse, try to prevent her from overhearing me being questioned...
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 14:01     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.


It sounds like a man who is scared to death and trying to protect his wife to me.


Not trying to start an argument, but I'm genuinely curious what you mean by this. If they're looking for a DNA match and he knows it wasn't him, what's to be scared of? If I knew they were swabbing people because they had evidence I'd rush to the station to get my name off the list.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:59     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.


Maybe he didn't want to worry you because he knew you'd flip out. Which you did.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:59     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.


So you kicked him out because you think he did it.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:58     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.


It sounds like a man who is scared to death and trying to protect his wife to me.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:58     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.


Me too, OP. Sorry you're going through this. I'd meet with a lawyer to see what you can do to protect your assets (or at least house) in the event he loses a civil suit.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:56     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:54     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:I don't know where to begin. I am shaking.

DH works in another state for six weeks in a remote area during the summer. There is a woman who is accusing him, and multiple coworkers of his of sexual assault. He was questioned today in our home and swabbed. Which leads me to believe there is substantial evidence. DH is trying to brush it off, saying he doesn't know her and he just went to sleep that night.

I kicked him out and told him not to come back until he is cleared.

I'm completely distraught and emotional. I don't want him near me. I don't believe he did it, but what if?


Supposing he is cleared, what then?
Lol I hope to goodness you don't think things will be back to normal after your reaction clearly indicates that not only do you have no trust in him whatsoever but also that in his time of distress (he's the one facing charges remember) you showed not one smidgen of support.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:52     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you do believe he did it, or you wouldn't have kicked him out and wouldn't be saying you don't want him near you. If I though my husband had participated in a gang rape I would kick him out too.


gang rape ? Did I miss that in the OP ?

One accusation is prove it. More than one means he did something.


Yeah, you're misreading the OP. She said one woman is accusing multiple men, including her DH, of assault. My take on that was gang-rape, but another commenter mentioned that she may have been assaulted in such a way that she doesn't know exactly who did it (drugging), so they're collecting DNA from likely suspects. Either way it's pretty horrible and I agree with OP's read that they wouldn't be testing DNA unless they had evidence to compare it to.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:51     Subject: DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you do believe he did it, or you wouldn't have kicked him out and wouldn't be saying you don't want him near you. If I though my husband had participated in a gang rape I would kick him out too.


I have no way of knowing for sure if he did it or not. I have no way of proving or disproving it until the investigation is complete.

Regardless, if he did it, how can I sleep at night next to a RAPIST?! What the hell. How is this my life.


Ok this is just a bizzare thread, OP. If my DH were accused of sexual assault, the last thing I would do would be to kick him out. I would be helping him find an attorney and supporting him in any way I could. It would never occur to me that he was guilty. Never. I know my DH. He would never do something like that. You either have reason to believe he might have done it. Or you're a horrible spouse.

Something isn't right about your story.
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:51     Subject: Re:DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Anonymous wrote:One woman is one thing...multiple is another. Sadly looks like this guy is one scary person and you were smart to get him out of there.


I think it's multiple men being accused, not multiple women accusing.

OP I too think the fact that you not only could fathom him being guilty of this but went ahead and preemptively kicked him out is pretty telling. You think he's probably guilty, yes? Either way that seriously sucks, I'm sorry you're going through this
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:51     Subject: Re:DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Multiple women accused him of assault or she's accusing multiple men of assault?
Anonymous
Post 08/15/2017 13:51     Subject: Re:DH is being accused of sexual assault.
Sounds like you just destroyed your marriage.

One likely scenario is the victim was drunk or drugged, and didnt' remember who she was involved with. A court order to swab your DH will eliminate (or confirm) him as a suspect. So what happens when he's eliminated?