Anonymous wrote:My concern would be he would seek primary physical custody as the SAHP and kids would live with him and you'd end up with visitation, child support, and possibly alimony.

It doesn't sound like he has done any childcare in 5 years aside from driving to soccer practice.

Talk to a lawyer. Often the last two years of income is what is used to calculate who deserves what.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

The reality is that most women are not feminists. They believe that men should be the providers and they mostly do not respect men who are unable, to unwilling, to do so.

The reality is most women are feminists when it suits them to be.

Ok, so you are misogynist. Ok, got it. Don't get married; no one is forcing you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

The reality is that most women are not feminists. They believe that men should be the providers and they mostly do not respect men who are unable, to unwilling, to do so.

The reality is most women are feminists when it suits them to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

Men and women are not the same. Women will never accept an unemployed spouse unless it's a previously agreed upon situation where he is handling everything home related while she pursues a demanding career, and even then women would only accept it as long as she enjoyed her work (and not always even then); women would never accept this arrangement if it was forced upon her and felt like a burden.

Men, on the other hand, have no problem with an unemployed spouse when there is enough money, she is happy, sexual, and doesn't complain constantly.

I didn't make the rules. This is just the nature of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

The reality is that most women are not feminists. They believe that men should be the providers and they mostly do not respect men who are unable, to unwilling, to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

There are tons of men who are paying long-term alimony to their ex-wives, on top of child support. Many of these women are still receiving alimony long after the children are grown and they have had plenty of time to get back into the workforce.

op, is your husband possibly struggling with depression or PTSD?

OP, talk to an attorney. For alimony and custody issues, it's one thing if the non-working parent is a dedicated SAHP providing substantial care to the children in lieu of holding a job. In your case, it sounds like the kids are in school/daycare all day, and most of his time with them is what would be after-work hours anyway. If it's been his choice not to look for more work, that will change the picture for alimony significantly. Alimony isn't meant to support someone who just doesn't feel like getting a job, it's meant to support a spouse who left the workforce (or took reduced hours) in order to be home and care for the family (and thus the other spouse in their career), and now will need time to get fully back into the workforce at a liveable wage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

My concern would be he would seek primary physical custody as the SAHP and kids would live with him and you'd end up with visitation, child support, and possibly alimony.

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

What's the warning here, you stop supporting your wife and family then bad things happen?

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

The lawyers will get paid with joint money. The DH doesn't need to have money squirreled away.