Anonymous
Post 08/14/2017 18:02     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know after the loss of a spouse, the happier the marriage, often the sooner men remarry. Even if it's a bad choice for them or their family or they don't look at their partners characteristics as closely, darnit they don't like being alone.

Women-happy or not will lose a spouse and be less likely to "need" to remarry.

I think part of it is that offer the grief of loss, it feels SO good to not be lonely they look the other way/don't notice red flags.

As a hospice nurse I've seen it time and again with families cringing at choices in "second wife" while the widower is aglow with love and not understanding why everyone else doesnt feel inclined to pick up where they left off.



I have a friend whose mother died of cancer when the friend was in middle school. Her father married a neighbor three months later. My friend never got over it.


^^^and no, there hadn't been a affair. Her father told her later that he was just very lonely and wanted someone there for him and the kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2017 17:59     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:I know after the loss of a spouse, the happier the marriage, often the sooner men remarry. Even if it's a bad choice for them or their family or they don't look at their partners characteristics as closely, darnit they don't like being alone.

Women-happy or not will lose a spouse and be less likely to "need" to remarry.

I think part of it is that offer the grief of loss, it feels SO good to not be lonely they look the other way/don't notice red flags.

As a hospice nurse I've seen it time and again with families cringing at choices in "second wife" while the widower is aglow with love and not understanding why everyone else doesnt feel inclined to pick up where they left off.



I have a friend whose mother died of cancer when the friend was in middle school. Her father married a neighbor three months later. My friend never got over it.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2017 15:10     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:I've been divorced for a year and have no problem stating that I would like to remarry. Even though I'm a natural introvert, life is more fun with a companion.



But why does it have to be the same one every day?
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2017 14:51     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:Because being alone at 75 sounds miserable.


Fly to the Philippines and bring back a 20yo english speaking mail order bride. She will take care of your every need and have sex with you daily. The only thing she will ask in return is citizenship and you pension/retirement savings when you pass.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 20:08     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:I don't need someone to take care of me. But i like companionship. I like coming home to someone at the end of the day. I like having someone to chill with after DS goes to bed. I like having a warm body next to me in bed. I like having intimacy (both physical and emotional). That's why I remarried.


Woman here. Am I really allowed to remarry because I don't want to be alone? Because I want someone to share things with? Because I like to chat? Because I want to cuddle and have sex a lot?

Am I not a moron because this is what I want?
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 17:49     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:I know after the loss of a spouse, the happier the marriage, often the sooner men remarry. Even if it's a bad choice for them or their family or they don't look at their partners characteristics as closely, darnit they don't like being alone.

Women-happy or not will lose a spouse and be less likely to "need" to remarry.

I think part of it is that offer the grief of loss, it feels SO good to not be lonely they look the other way/don't notice red flags.

As a hospice nurse I've seen it time and again with families cringing at choices in "second wife" while the widower is aglow with love and not understanding why everyone else doesnt feel inclined to pick up where they left off.


I think you're right. I'm a widower who has dated a widow or two, so I have an informed opinion. (Actually my family cringed at the choice of first wife, so #2 could be a real zinger: Vegas stripper, internet bride, member of al Queda.)
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 17:41     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:
A wealthy 50 year old who takes good care of himself can get plenty of sex without getting married.


It's easier to get safe condomless sex from a married partner than other types of partners.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 17:38     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:I don't buy this "men marry for s caretaker" stuff. That's just not how men think, in general -- unless he has some kind of disability or health issue. Men usually don't think they need caretakers.

Plus, by a certain age, most men generally are expected to have some money in order to get a date. If they have money, they can afford to hire out help.


There's a difference between hiring out help and caretaker. Men like the emotional/physical connection. Women are less likely to be dependent on the later. That's why there are so many Anna Nicole Smith stories - men with half a foot in the grave marrying nubile young women. Because why not have someone who can give you great sex while you're dying? And if you have to marry said person to do so, what do you care?

Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 17:32     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
I don't buy this "men marry for s caretaker" stuff. That's just not how men think, in general -- unless he has some kind of disability or health issue. Men usually don't think they need caretakers.

Plus, by a certain age, most men generally are expected to have some money in order to get a date. If they have money, they can afford to hire out help.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 17:10     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
I know after the loss of a spouse, the happier the marriage, often the sooner men remarry. Even if it's a bad choice for them or their family or they don't look at their partners characteristics as closely, darnit they don't like being alone.

Women-happy or not will lose a spouse and be less likely to "need" to remarry.

I think part of it is that offer the grief of loss, it feels SO good to not be lonely they look the other way/don't notice red flags.

As a hospice nurse I've seen it time and again with families cringing at choices in "second wife" while the widower is aglow with love and not understanding why everyone else doesnt feel inclined to pick up where they left off.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 14:52     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because being alone at 75 sounds miserable.


I have a relative who is 75. His wife died almost 20 years ago. He is single and he dates some. Here is what he told me: "I am happier than I have been in 50 years, single and without a woman." He is also rich. He does have a fantastic lifestyle.


Having money makes a huge difference.


+1. It's completely consistent with the notion that men tend to remarry to have a caretaker. Your relative has enough money to pay for a caretaker, so he doesn't need to remarry.


50-year-olds remarry for pussy, not for a caretaker, not for laundry service. If we say we're interested in sex, you can assume men want sex. And companionship if we're talking about marriage. 70-year-olds? Who knows.


A wealthy 50 year old who takes good care of himself can get plenty of sex without getting married.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 14:38     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because being alone at 75 sounds miserable.


I have a relative who is 75. His wife died almost 20 years ago. He is single and he dates some. Here is what he told me: "I am happier than I have been in 50 years, single and without a woman." He is also rich. He does have a fantastic lifestyle.


Having money makes a huge difference.


+1. It's completely consistent with the notion that men tend to remarry to have a caretaker. Your relative has enough money to pay for a caretaker, so he doesn't need to remarry.


50-year-olds remarry for pussy, not for a caretaker, not for laundry service. If we say we're interested in sex, you can assume men want sex. And companionship if we're talking about marriage. 70-year-olds? Who knows.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 12:52     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because being alone at 75 sounds miserable.


I have a relative who is 75. His wife died almost 20 years ago. He is single and he dates some. Here is what he told me: "I am happier than I have been in 50 years, single and without a woman." He is also rich. He does have a fantastic lifestyle.


Having money makes a huge difference.


+1. It's completely consistent with the notion that men tend to remarry to have a caretaker. Your relative has enough money to pay for a caretaker, so he doesn't need to remarry.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 12:49     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because being alone at 75 sounds miserable.


I have a relative who is 75. His wife died almost 20 years ago. He is single and he dates some. Here is what he told me: "I am happier than I have been in 50 years, single and without a woman." He is also rich. He does have a fantastic lifestyle.


Having money makes a huge difference.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2017 10:47     Subject: S/o: Men who remarried, why?
I don't need someone to take care of me. But i like companionship. I like coming home to someone at the end of the day. I like having someone to chill with after DS goes to bed. I like having a warm body next to me in bed. I like having intimacy (both physical and emotional). That's why I remarried.