I will apply again because the reason I was denied was because I have $1,000 in the bank.

I appreciate all the suggestions. My house is mine, free and clear, DH's name is off the deed. If I am struggling to put away $330/month for taxes so selling and moving to somewhere where rent is $800 doesn't help much. The house can be portioned off and rented out, I suppose, but it will take money I don't have. It did have an apartment before so there are two meters, which helps.
I also have some livestock that feed us and one boarder who pays for the livestock instead of rent. Which is huge.

The kid is autistic and explosive and part of the reason we moved to the middle of nowhere. City life was not for him. He can't handle crowds and noise and has thrived raising animals and running through the fields.

I have applied for SIS but was denied.

Look into SSI for your child - https://www.ssa.gov/disabilityssi/ssi.html

Anonymous wrote:Can I state the obvious? You need to apply for government assistance. SNAP at the very least.

And disability for you child. ASAP. It's what it's there for!

If there are universities nearby, rent out of room. Vet people closely and demand all sorts of assurances. Even if you just manage the $4k a year by renting out ($333/month), you've got what you need.

Is there an open air market nearby? Bake pies and cupcakes. You can make enough to cover a bill that'll free you up.

I do seasonal fed work to bring in clumps of money that I need for uniforms and Xmas. It looks good on my resume, uses my skills, and covers the financial gaps.

Lastly, please go to a pro bono legal clinic at your local social service and see what your options are re XH. Four grand a year is not a lot to ask/demand.

I'm not sure why so many people are so quick to suggest you sell the place. What a dumb idea. It's paid off, and although you have property taxes, you sure as hell will spend a lot more on rent or a mortgage on the next place.

OP - your best bet is to take a renter or 2. Or airbnb a room. Dog sitting/boarding is also a good idea.

Anonymous wrote:People saying she should move closer to work -- we don't know where her home is and where her job is. I'm betting she lives way out in MD or VA (or WVA) and her job is close to DC. In which case moving closer is NOT an option.

Do you get any disability payments for your child? If not - look into it.

Also SNAP.

Hopefully other PPs have some idea of ways to make a few extra dollars here and there. Babysitting? Rent out a room?

She referenced leaving DC several times. I assumed she moved to like Christianburg, VA or Danton, Ohio. Where-else would a full-time job be able to pay you $1,200 and that's considered standard? So if she can relocate her kids to an apartment in the center of a town with a low COL then I say do it. If her job is in DC or Boston...then that just creates more problems you're right.

People saying she should move closer to work -- we don't know where her home is and where her job is. I'm betting she lives way out in MD or VA (or WVA) and her job is close to DC. In which case moving closer is NOT an option.

Do you get any disability payments for your child? If not - look into it.

Also SNAP.

Hopefully other PPs have some idea of ways to make a few extra dollars here and there. Babysitting? Rent out a room?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house. Give your husband half the proceeds. Buy something small and closer to your work. Poverty is more damaging to kids than moving. Go after child support. Your children deserve that money.

Op said husband often doesn't work, so no child support. and he's abusive and volatile. Cut ties in all ways possible.

Agreed. The OP already got the house and full exclusive custody, which is far far more than what most wives get out of a situation like this. Leave well enough alone, you don't want someone like that in your life.

Anonymous wrote:But you own the house without debt, you could take out a mortgage (reverse mortgage) and free up some of that equity to pay off your monthly necessities. But yeah, selling the house and moving and renting/buying something more affordable would probably be the better option long-term if you don't expect your salary to increase or costs to decline in a few years.

That's exactly how senior citizens get conned out of paid off homes.

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house. Give your husband half the proceeds. Buy something small and closer to your work. Poverty is more damaging to kids than moving. Go after child support. Your children deserve that money.

Op said husband often doesn't work, so no child support. and he's abusive and volatile. Cut ties in all ways possible.

But you own the house without debt, you could take out a mortgage (reverse mortgage) and free up some of that equity to pay off your monthly necessities. But yeah, selling the house and moving and renting/buying something more affordable would probably be the better option long-term if you don't expect your salary to increase or costs to decline in a few years.

Sell the house, move to an area with a better social support network. This means closer to urban areas. People pay a boatload of taxes to make this support available to you, please go ahead and use it.

Sell the house. Your circumstances aren't working out. Holding on to something that isn't working is a bad idea. Let it go.

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house. Give your husband half the proceeds. Buy something small and closer to your work. Poverty is more damaging to kids than moving. Go after child support. Your children deserve that money.

He has no job. She said he's been unemployed for four years. 30% of nothing is still nothing.

Take in a renter or 2.
Apply for any and all government benefits available.

Are any of your kids over 13. If so, make them get babysitting jobs or paper routes. If over 16, a real job after school. It teaches great work ethic and financial discipline, and then they will have some spending money for clothes or an activity they want.

Sell the house. Give your husband half the proceeds. Buy something small and closer to your work. Poverty is more damaging to kids than moving. Go after child support. Your children deserve that money.