Anonymous
08/11/2017 13:54
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:LoriCroit wrote:Before jumping into adopting, you might consider contacting your county and becoming a foster parent. There are a lot of challenges being a single mother and being a foster mother might give you insight.
There are a lot of places online that you could research about adoption and foster parenting that you could look into.
Consider praying about this decision. I will be praying for you. Good luck!
This is SUCH bad advice. You don't use troubled children to see if being a single parent is right for you. That is SO fucked up.
Signed,
bio and foster parent.
PS - being a foster parent is way harder. duh.
Surely there is more of a need for foster parents than adoptive parents? Why is fostering bad advice? It is designed with the family reunification in mind.
How is that a trial?
Fostering is bad advice if you're only doing it to see if you want to have a kid another way, or hoping that reunification will fail so you get to keep a kid.
Fostering is an important thing to do but it is hard and the only people who should do it are people who can actually support the child's goal, which generally starts out as reunification.
And we should all do more as a society so fewer kids need foster care.
Anonymous
08/11/2017 09:37
Subject: Most affordable way to adopt
Anonymous wrote:Think carefully before going into single motherhood. It is a nightmare.
For some staying with a man is a nightmare and single motherhood is a heavenly alternative
Anonymous
08/10/2017 22:54
Subject: Most affordable way to adopt
Think carefully before going into single motherhood. It is a nightmare.
Anonymous
08/10/2017 22:50
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
Anonymous wrote:LoriCroit wrote:Before jumping into adopting, you might consider contacting your county and becoming a foster parent. There are a lot of challenges being a single mother and being a foster mother might give you insight.
There are a lot of places online that you could research about adoption and foster parenting that you could look into.
Consider praying about this decision. I will be praying for you. Good luck!
This is SUCH bad advice. You don't use troubled children to see if being a single parent is right for you. That is SO fucked up.
Signed,
bio and foster parent.
PS - being a foster parent is way harder. duh.
Surely there is more of a need for foster parents than adoptive parents? Why is fostering bad advice? It is designed with the family reunification in mind.
How is that a trial?
Anonymous
08/10/2017 22:40
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
Anonymous wrote:I am a public School teacher and single mom who adopted an infant domestically in this area. Its a lot more doable than you think. Start by going to information sessions. Once you settle on a path forward, find out what monthly childcare near you will cost. Each month put that amount of money into savings. By doing this you accomplish two things, first you find out that yes, you can pay that bill each month. Second, by the time you are done with the home study process you will have a few thousand saved up. If you continue to do this while you wait (and yes, it can often be a very long wait, but don't be totally surprised if it is not, will get to that in a minute) you will have more than enough saved up for the placement fee once there is a baby. If it does end up being a long wait and you continue to do this, you will be very set financially for the newborn costs.
My comment about don't be surprised if it doesn't take long was in reference to my own son's adoption. I got the first call about my son three months after my profile was turned in (this took a couple of months after the home study, I was being really obsessive about the profile). Birth parents are looking for people who they can trust with their children. I think that can be an easier leap to make with teachers as they are already trusted with children. This is not fact, just my opinion.
It took us 6 years and had friends who never adopted. You are very fortunate. We spent a lot of money trying.
Anonymous
08/10/2017 15:38
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
I am a public School teacher and single mom who adopted an infant domestically in this area. Its a lot more doable than you think. Start by going to information sessions. Once you settle on a path forward, find out what monthly childcare near you will cost. Each month put that amount of money into savings. By doing this you accomplish two things, first you find out that yes, you can pay that bill each month. Second, by the time you are done with the home study process you will have a few thousand saved up. If you continue to do this while you wait (and yes, it can often be a very long wait, but don't be totally surprised if it is not, will get to that in a minute) you will have more than enough saved up for the placement fee once there is a baby. If it does end up being a long wait and you continue to do this, you will be very set financially for the newborn costs.
My comment about don't be surprised if it doesn't take long was in reference to my own son's adoption. I got the first call about my son three months after my profile was turned in (this took a couple of months after the home study, I was being really obsessive about the profile). Birth parents are looking for people who they can trust with their children. I think that can be an easier leap to make with teachers as they are already trusted with children. This is not fact, just my opinion.
My comment about don't be surprised if it doesn't take long was in reference to my own son's adoption. I got the first call about my son three months after my profile was turned in (this took a couple of months after the home study, I was being really obsessive about the profile). Birth parents are looking for people who they can trust with their children. I think that can be an easier leap to make with teachers as they are already trusted with children. This is not fact, just my opinion.
Anonymous
08/09/2017 22:23
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
People who've parented bio kids since birth and people who successfully adopt older kids from foster care are about as alike as people building a snowman and ski jumpers: both involve the same general thing (snow/kids) but the challenge level and the skills you need are very different.
As an adoptive parent of older kids, I have to give a big shout-out of thanks for this PP and their analogy. Made my ski-jumpin' day!
Anonymous
08/09/2017 21:59
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
LoriCroit wrote:Before jumping into adopting, you might consider contacting your county and becoming a foster parent. There are a lot of challenges being a single mother and being a foster mother might give you insight.
There are a lot of places online that you could research about adoption and foster parenting that you could look into.
Consider praying about this decision. I will be praying for you. Good luck!
This is SUCH bad advice. You don't use troubled children to see if being a single parent is right for you. That is SO fucked up.
Signed,
bio and foster parent.
PS - being a foster parent is way harder. duh.
Anonymous
08/09/2017 21:57
Subject: Most affordable way to adopt
Anonymous wrote:Remember though, IVF treatments, sperm donations, can get expensive quickly if it doesn't take after the first attempt. Typically you pay per attempt.
Newsflash: you don't jump right to IVF with donor sperm. Don't speak about processes you know nothing about.
Anonymous
08/08/2017 11:59
Subject: Most affordable way to adopt
Adoptions Together is a lot more than $15k for domestic infant adoptions and you will probably wait a LONG time. There just aren't that many people placing kids for adoption these days. Some states like Utah have more but have some really serious ethical violations.
Adopting a "waiting" child (parental rights terminated, so they will not return to birth family) from foster care is an amazing thing to do but you have to really want to do it and know what you're getting into and have the supports you'll need. You should assume that the child will have emotional and behavioral challenges--if they don't, that's great, but the trauma they've been through is substantial and you should not expect to be told the whole story about them.
People who've parented bio kids since birth and people who successfully adopt older kids from foster care are about as alike as people building a snowman and ski jumpers: both involve the same general thing (snow/kids) but the challenge level and the skills you need are very different.
Adopting a "waiting" child (parental rights terminated, so they will not return to birth family) from foster care is an amazing thing to do but you have to really want to do it and know what you're getting into and have the supports you'll need. You should assume that the child will have emotional and behavioral challenges--if they don't, that's great, but the trauma they've been through is substantial and you should not expect to be told the whole story about them.
People who've parented bio kids since birth and people who successfully adopt older kids from foster care are about as alike as people building a snowman and ski jumpers: both involve the same general thing (snow/kids) but the challenge level and the skills you need are very different.
Anonymous
08/08/2017 03:25
Subject: Most affordable way to adopt
I am married and after many years of trying to conceive on our own, my husband I adopted twins (6 weeks old) through Adoptions Together. This was nearly 15 years ago and I recall the fees were about $15K. Process was very organized. I would inquire with them.
LoriCroit
08/08/2017 01:34
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
Before jumping into adopting, you might consider contacting your county and becoming a foster parent. There are a lot of challenges being a single mother and being a foster mother might give you insight.
There are a lot of places online that you could research about adoption and foster parenting that you could look into.
Consider praying about this decision. I will be praying for you. Good luck!
There are a lot of places online that you could research about adoption and foster parenting that you could look into.
Consider praying about this decision. I will be praying for you. Good luck!
Anonymous
08/07/2017 20:53
Subject: Re:Most affordable way to adopt
Please get educated, plenty of books discussing single motherhood, foster parenting, adoption, all of the above. I'd start by visiting singlemothersbychoice.org
Don't let naysayers hold you back, especially friends and family. We are biologically driven to be mothers!
Don't let naysayers hold you back, especially friends and family. We are biologically driven to be mothers!
Anonymous
08/07/2017 20:18
Subject: Most affordable way to adopt
Remember though, IVF treatments, sperm donations, can get expensive quickly if it doesn't take after the first attempt. Typically you pay per attempt.
Anonymous
08/07/2017 19:41
Subject: Most affordable way to adopt
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two of my siblings were adopted out of DC foster care. No costs if I recall and I was an adult when they came. Both were drug exposed newborns.
How are they doing now?
One is great. In college despite some mild SN. The other is really struggling despite sped and extensive therapy. But this variation occurs among biokids as well. Of the six kids, two completed college or grad school. Two worked right after HS and then took classes. And two dropped out of HS.