If she was my mother, I would disown her.

My Irish mother (god rest her soul) was fond of saying: "A Son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life"

This EXACT post has been made previously. And not recently. Can't you just search the archives instead of developing a remake?

Yes I think it's okay. I had a full scholarship, and a shitty relationship with my parents. I stopped putting up with their crap after freshman year, and don't talk to them for years. When we did reconcile I was a completely independent adult and they were able to respect me as one. Our relationship needed the space, and I'm not of the opinion that shared dna obligates you to have a relationship with someone.

That being said, if the parents are footing the bill, I think they have a right to expect to be treated decently and given an appropriate amount of attention/communication. But if your kid isn't grateful for the help you've given them, and for some reason doesn't want to talk to you, I think you made a wrong turn at some point in the relationship. Either you spoiled them or alienated them, or both.

I called my family regularly and expect my kids to do the same. It's about the bond you've developed over the years, so the way you parent now will be reflected on your relationship later on.

I have sent 4 to college - 2 boys and 2 girls. The girls were better about checking in although "checking in" meant texting once or twice a day. That was absolutely fine and more than we expected. The boys were different. If we reached out to them, they would respond. However, they rarely initiated conversation just to check in.