Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If my DW told me that I would definitely want to know more - why was she attracted, what was the nature of the attraction, did she hope it would be sexual. I'm sure I'd be very upset and angry but I'd want to know so I had a clue as to what to do about it. I have no desire to be married to a bi-sexual or a lesbian. I have no desire to stay married to someone who isn't exclusively attracted to me sexually.
So basically you would want to know more so you could decide whether to dump her or not.
If she has even a hint of how you feel about this 'subject' you sure as hell aren't going to get even a chance to ask the questions unless she is ready to dump your ass.
FWIW, I'm a man.
Anonymous wrote:If my DW told me that I would definitely want to know more - why was she attracted, what was the nature of the attraction, did she hope it would be sexual. I'm sure I'd be very upset and angry but I'd want to know so I had a clue as to what to do about it. I have no desire to be married to a bi-sexual or a lesbian. I have no desire to stay married to someone who isn't exclusively attracted to me sexually.
Anonymous wrote:lads, how would you take it if your wife told you she was attracted to one of her girlfriends that she spends a lot of time with? the other woman being married with children as well and very low probability of anything happening. would you feel threatened? amused/intrigued? indifferent?
Anonymous wrote:Not a threesome, but my response would be she's free to go sleep with her, but I get to sleep with other women too.
Anonymous wrote:lads, how would you take it if your wife told you she was attracted to one of her girlfriends that she spends a lot of time with? the other woman being married with children as well and very low probability of anything happening. would you feel threatened? amused/intrigued? indifferent?
Anonymous wrote:I was in this situation with my ex-wife.
I found a bunch of lesbian porn on the computer, which she denied looking at. It took me finding more and more of it for her to finally admit that she was starting to feel sexually attracted to one of her friends.
She grew up in an abusive house with self-proclaimed religious folks. I considered that perhaps she was gay or bisexual and repressed it out of fear. We were in our twenties, so I gave her a one time hall pass. She could go figure out if that's what she wanted, and I wouldn't ask any questions. If it was something she wanted to keep doing, then we would need to have a new conversation.
I don't know if I felt threatened necessarily. I recognized early into the marriage that she had issues with self esteem and being herself instead of what she thought other people wanted her to be. Her revelation made me consider that maybe this attraction wasn't a new development and perhaps she'd been lying to herself about her sexuality for years. I loved her, so I wanted her to be happy even if it meant she wouldn't be with me anymore.