Anonymous wrote:Babysit NO. Seeing her grandchild YES

No one is obligated to allow another person to babysit without the parent there.

This.

So DH doesn't have a relationship with his mom but he wants to force his daughter to? My dad was like that. It was easier for him to try to foist her off on me than deal with her himself. Love the hypocrisy.

Nope. Would you expect your husband to foster or force a relationship between your child and your mom? No. So why is it your responsibility to make sure there is a relationship with his mom? If my husband wants our child to spend time with his mom, he can plan to get together with her and do it. He does not care to go out of his way to make plans with her. I make plans for her to spend holidays with us and I think it is up to him to plan other events.

Rather than babysit, Dad and DC have to spend time with his mother once/month. They can have dinner, have Sunday brunch, go see a movie, or even have a movie night in or attend an event that might appeal to all of them. DH is responsible for coordinating between DC and his mother for the day. If he won't make it happen, make it default to a specific day, say the first Friday of every month. This will help your DH have at least a tolerable relationship with his mother as well as let her spend time with both her son and her granddaughter. But plan this around some event, whether it is a meal, a movie or something else. Just babysitting time is not that good if neither person can find a way to mutually share the time.

Well, I guess start with going to outings together - museum, movie, shopping - and see how it goes. Start with all 3 or 4 of you.

My spouse doesn't speak much with his parents so we're always starting from like zero when we get together. so awkward.

OP, you have not been very clear. Does Grandma want to babysit for a hour or the month of August? Does your child know his Grandmother?

Plenty of other things they can do. Invite Grandma to dinner and play a game or do a craft afterwards. Have her come to a school activity and then go out for ice cream. Visit at her house and ask her to take out photos or tell stories about DH as a child (or stories about her life growing up.) Plan another outing like apple picking or just things where you can be together and she can see her GC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids often don't want to eat their vegetables but we make them do it because it's good for them.

Same concept here.

how is this good for them? DC is 8

Um, fostering a relationship with a grandparent? Are you that dim?

Visiting is different than making a child stay alone for expmtended periods of time with someone they aren't comfortable with.

OP, when I was around that age, my mom used to make me spend the night with my grandma. I hated it. She wasn't any fun, only wanted to do things SHE wanted to do, and it was miserable. All I wanted was to go home.

Don't make your daughter do this. Make her visit with you, of course! Encourage grandma to come for family dinner, sure! But alone time she isn't fond of? Not necessary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids often don't want to eat their vegetables but we make them do it because it's good for them.

Same concept here.

how is this good for them? DC is 8

Um, fostering a relationship with a grandparent? Are you that dim?

Visiting is different than making a child stay alone for expmtended periods of time with someone they aren't comfortable with.

OP, when I was around that age, my mom used to make me spend the night with my grandma. I hated it. She wasn't any fun, only wanted to do things SHE wanted to do, and it was miserable. All I wanted was to go home.

Don't make your daughter do this. Make her visit with you, of course! Encourage grandma to come for family dinner, sure! But alone time she isn't fond of? Not necessary.