Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is always better to be the big, very secure fish in the small pond.

As someone said above, not if everyone in your social group sells Lularoe and likes Olive Garden and The Hot Topics. Then you've really got to get your kids exposure to the finer things (and those private lessons, of course) so that they don't end up fatties or wearing booties or *gasp* skinny dipping.

DCUM is all about insecurity. People are insecure and scared they will become like the others. You control your destiny not your peer group. I grew up rural but my family went on fancy vacations, went to the city for culture all the other DCUM things. They saved major bank also and were able to be around instead of being house poor and wage slaves to a 50-60+ hour workweek

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is always better to be the big, very secure fish in the small pond.

As someone said above, not if everyone in your social group sells Lularoe and likes Olive Garden and The Hot Topics. Then you've really got to get your kids exposure to the finer things (and those private lessons, of course) so that they don't end up fatties or wearing booties or *gasp* skinny dipping.

But ... but ... the free breadsticks and sarcastic t-shirts! Mine, all mine!

In all seriousness, I don't want my social world limited to these things, but there's nothing particularly dangerous about going to Olive Garden with a friend. You can still go to fashionable wine bar at other times. It isn't as if the two worlds are mutually exclusive. If I have a high hhi that allows me to easily afford a middle class life, and I live a middle class life and save, save, save, then I can afford education and enriching experiences. I can get access to culture if I want to have it. I can find other members of the middle class who are intellectually curious and willing to split a bottle of wine.

If I am in a position where I feel I have to spend to the very limit of my ability, the situation is less stable. It may be worth it, but frankly it sounds stressful and there's a lot further to fall.

In one case, my risk is having to go to that same chain restaurant AGAIN. Then I go back to my small, paid off house and relax. Maybe, I decide, I'll retire early. Travel. Perhaps Ireland.

The results of financial instability is far worse.

Anonymous wrote:It is always better to be the big, very secure fish in the small pond.

As someone said above, not if everyone in your social group sells Lularoe and likes Olive Garden and The Hot Topics. Then you've really got to get your kids exposure to the finer things (and those private lessons, of course) so that they don't end up fatties or wearing booties or *gasp* skinny dipping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are you asking

Deciding where to raise my family. Besides international vacations, what other expensive activities would my kids miss out on?

My kids are elementary age and I'm finding that everything basically requires private lessons. I mean, not really in the sense that you can pursue these activities without private instruction but in reality, yes you need one-on-one coaching if you want to progress. We have 2 kids in private tennis lessons and now one in private ice skating lessons. You just don't get enough attention in group lessons to make any progress.

^ Also private ski and swim lessons but that's more normal.

Also where I live, you basically have to join a country club to have a social life in the summer. That's expensive. 5 figure initiation fee and then monthly dues and fees of ~ $700.

Agreed. Where I live (Montgomery County) it's considered gauche to only join one country club. We can manage one membership, but the second really eats into our middle class income.

This kind of nonsense is why people hate DCUM.

Are you autistic? do you not get sarcasm?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are you asking

Deciding where to raise my family. Besides international vacations, what other expensive activities would my kids miss out on?

My kids are elementary age and I'm finding that everything basically requires private lessons. I mean, not really in the sense that you can pursue these activities without private instruction but in reality, yes you need one-on-one coaching if you want to progress. We have 2 kids in private tennis lessons and now one in private ice skating lessons. You just don't get enough attention in group lessons to make any progress.

^ Also private ski and swim lessons but that's more normal.

Also where I live, you basically have to join a country club to have a social life in the summer. That's expensive. 5 figure initiation fee and then monthly dues and fees of ~ $700.

Agreed. Where I live (Montgomery County) it's considered gauche to only join one country club. We can manage one membership, but the second really eats into our middle class income.

This kind of nonsense is why people hate DCUM.

I was hoping the two country club poster was kidding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are you asking

Deciding where to raise my family. Besides international vacations, what other expensive activities would my kids miss out on?

My kids are elementary age and I'm finding that everything basically requires private lessons. I mean, not really in the sense that you can pursue these activities without private instruction but in reality, yes you need one-on-one coaching if you want to progress. We have 2 kids in private tennis lessons and now one in private ice skating lessons. You just don't get enough attention in group lessons to make any progress.

^ Also private ski and swim lessons but that's more normal.

Also where I live, you basically have to join a country club to have a social life in the summer. That's expensive. 5 figure initiation fee and then monthly dues and fees of ~ $700.

Agreed. Where I live (Montgomery County) it's considered gauche to only join one country club. We can manage one membership, but the second really eats into our middle class income.

This kind of nonsense is why people hate DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:It is always better to be the big, very secure fish in the small pond.

Yep. This is my view. This is how you become wealthy and carry that wealth forward generationally. But it depends on who you are as a human. If you are at the top of the middle class and are splurging on travel, country clubs, private ice skating lessons (bc no one EVER learned to skate until there were private lessons for it) -- are you going to be constantly annoyed that your DC's best friend can't join bc their parents can't afford it and then are you going to constantly look down your nose at them? OTOH if you opt for the least wealth in the upper class -- how secure or insecure are you? Will you constantly be complaining or feeling bad that everyone jets off on vacation for every school break (I find this to be VERY true in places like Bethesda) while you go away for one week every summer? Will you be feeling like you need to scrape together the money for a country club and luxury cars bc everyone else is and as the PP above puts is -- a country club is the ONLY way to have a social life ??

So basically what are you like as a person?

It is always better to be the big, very secure fish in the small pond.