Anonymous wrote:To those of you who fast, what plan did you follow?

I eat Keto (very little to no carb) and fasting happens naturally as I'm not hungry in the morning. So count the hours you sleep, skip breakfast, and eat your lunch. That's your fast. It's not magic. You automatically eat less. Coffee in the morning will suppress your appetite. I add half & half or almond milk to my morning coffee and still count that as fasting, although technically it's not.

Hi OP, I think that I am like your wife.

Im in my early 40s, with two kids, and am about 50 lbs overweight. I know that I am fat, I know that I look like crap in clothes, and Im not happy about it. But I don't lose weight easily like I used to when I was young, and it is so so so so so so unmotivating to diet and exercise and lose like 1 lb/week. Also, I am tall, so it takes a lot of weight loss (or gain, sadly) for clothes to get loose/tight). So, its easy for me to give up.

Just keep loving her, model healthy habits when you can, support her when you can, and that's all that you can do.

To those of you who fast, what plan did you follow?

I'm in a similar position, and I found that my DH will do about 50% of what I do. If I'm really strict about diet and exercise, he'll also start to watch what he eats. If I start to slack, he does, too. So I have to be extremely strict with myself, never eat junk, and exercise daily to get him to do just enough dieting and exercise to lose weight. Encouragement and suggestion aren't enough, I have to actually *do* something to get him to follow along.

I also do all the grocery shopping and cooking to make sure we're eating healthy. If DH is in charge of any meals he'll just get fast food. So I make all three meals and snacks, and don't buy any junk for the house. I know once in awhile he'll go buy junk food for himself, but he eats way less than if it was just sitting around. Some people also need basic nutritional education; my DH thought it was okay to pile up salads with bacon bits, croutons, cheese, and dressing because it's still "salad". I had to teach him how to track calories and make better choices.

You'll probably have to pick up more work around the house to help her eat right and give her time to go to the gym. Everything takes a lot of work and planning in advance but it's worth it to have a spouse that's nice to look at!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put on around 20lbs from stress. Is there anything that's happened in her life the past couple years? Could she be depressed? I was overeating and not taking care of myself, and it was directly related to life events.

Plus it's hard for us women to just drop the weight, especially after you've aged and had kids.

+ 1 I'm 20 lbs overweight, 40, with one toddler and a full-time job, and if I have any spare time I just want to lie down and rest. I know that to lose the weight will require 6 months+ of a total overhaul of diet and exercise, and I find that incredibly daunting, especially when I just want to relax with a glass of wine or bit of chocolate at the end of the day. Every day I wake up and want to start, and every day I fail. I keep telling myself that after my cgild gets older and more self-sufficient I can focus on my own health again, but in the meantime I'm tired & hate the way I look.

Lose the weight with a quick hcg diet

Fat shaming prevented laziness

I'm convinced that until you find a regime that's easy to stick to, you are doomed to have the weight creep back up. For me, that's having coffee with cream in lieu of breakfast every day, and delaying a light lunch until 2pm 2X per week (modified 5/3 diet). Otherwise I eat what I want, but this shrinks my stomach and makes me feel in total control.

Anonymous wrote:For
Me, fasting has changed everything g. I don't have time to exercise but fasting gives me energy. I don't have time to make complicated meals or totally change my diet; I just don't eat for at least 14 hours from the night before until the next day. I do some longer fasts, too. Not eating at all is way easier and healthier for you than most calorie restriction diets. I'm still overweight, but I've reversed my prediabetes, normalized my cholesterol, and most 50 pounds so far. I've also gone way off this way if eating for a couple
Of months but stayed at this new set point - didn't lose more, but happy to be stalled here given that I've indulged a lot lately. Google insulin resistance and intermittent fasting. It's changed everything for me. Seriously, LESS hungry this way, less stress and thoughts about food.

Congrats! Good job. I like fasting, too. It gives you a chance to NOT think about food.

I'd get her into a medically-supervised weight management program. She knows what to do. She needs professional structure to do it.

For
Me, fasting has changed everything g. I don't have time to exercise but fasting gives me energy. I don't have time to make complicated meals or totally change my diet; I just don't eat for at least 14 hours from the night before until the next day. I do some longer fasts, too. Not eating at all is way easier and healthier for you than most calorie restriction diets. I'm still overweight, but I've reversed my prediabetes, normalized my cholesterol, and most 50 pounds so far. I've also gone way off this way if eating for a couple
Of months but stayed at this new set point - didn't lose more, but happy to be stalled here given that I've indulged a lot lately. Google insulin resistance and intermittent fasting. It's changed everything for me. Seriously, LESS hungry this way, less stress and thoughts about food.

Ok so I gained 30 lbs over last 18 months and am unhappy with my weight. I have lost about 8 so far and its been somewhat up and down for me. 5 down, then 2 up, 5 more down, etc. I definitely lost some confidence and was "depressed" about it. I went to therapy over other life issues and came to realize that I was depressed in the clinical sense. I was eating a lot from stress. So I'd say maybe the key is for your wife to get to the core of the reason behind the gain. I went to my dr had my thyroid checked etc. and finally decided to try Wellbutrin. It's been amazing. I am feeling better, and for me a side effect is less hunger (it has some stimulant impacts).

What my husband did that helped me:

1. Never judged me
2. Kept up with healthy habits himself (running, etc) It made me inspired to be more fit too.
3. Cooked three days a week healthy dinners.
3. Listened to me without interjecting what I should do. I knew what I should do. I needed a friend to support me tell me I have this and to celebrate small successes.
4. Made me feel beautiful no matter what.

Maybe you need to be more like a true friend to her. If she is telling you how down she about it, try to reframe her comments so she knows you "got" her message, this also works for her to perhaps see more clearly how negative she is being.

Good luck

Op, who does most of the grocery shopping and cooking? Maybe if you offered to take care of those things it might make the process of change less daunting?

Anonymous wrote:I put on around 20lbs from stress. Is there anything that's happened in her life the past couple years? Could she be depressed? I was overeating and not taking care of myself, and it was directly related to life events.

Plus it's hard for us women to just drop the weight, especially after you've aged and had kids.

+ 1 I'm 20 lbs overweight, 40, with one toddler and a full-time job, and if I have any spare time I just want to lie down and rest. I know that to lose the weight will require 6 months+ of a total overhaul of diet and exercise, and I find that incredibly daunting, especially when I just want to relax with a glass of wine or bit of chocolate at the end of the day. Every day I wake up and want to start, and every day I fail. I keep telling myself that after my cgild gets older and more self-sufficient I can focus on my own health again, but in the meantime I'm tired & hate the way I look.

How do you know she is depressed about her weight? Has she spoken/complained to you about it? If she has, take that moment and ask her what YOU can do to help her? Hire a nutritionist, give her time to workout or whatever.

I put on around 20lbs from stress. Is there anything that's happened in her life the past couple years? Could she be depressed? I was overeating and not taking care of myself, and it was directly related to life events.

Plus it's hard for us women to just drop the weight, especially after you've aged and had kids.

Anonymous wrote:Have her focus on food at first, not exercise. the food will have a bigger impact on her weight.

And how do you propose he do that?