Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 19:21     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:sleep with him and try to make it work.


And how is that working out for you?
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 19:07     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:This might be long.

I have posted on various boards about my marriage - how horrible it was and how horrible it's been since I left. My husband won't give me any money for the kids, he's being a total jerk in communication, we can't reach an agreement about anything, etc....

Well, my mom today told me how upset she is that our upcoming beach vacation won't just be a "happy family" scenario. Like, jeez mom, sorry my marriage ended - it must be so hard for you! She went on to defend my husband, including his unwillingness to pay support, by saying it was probably a real surprise for him to find us gone. (He cheated on me, was emotionally abusive, financially controlling, and had a drinking problem - she knows all of this).

Here's the dilemma: my husband is coming to the states in a few days and will be staying for three weeks. He's supposed to keep the kids for most of that time. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to go to the beach with my mom - STBX will stay nearby with the kids and come and go. I'm so disgusted with him, with the situation, and now with her, that I'm tempted just to drop the kids off and stay home until I'm supposed to pick them up again.

WWYD?

Don't do that to your kids. Suck it up and find a way to make it tolerable.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 18:47     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
sleep with him and try to make it work.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:46     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/566470.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/570638.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/639091.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/653336.page#11173719


Wow. OP sounds exhausting


We get it, sock puppet.


I posted the links. I didn't post the comment about OP being exhausting.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:44     Subject: Re:Just want to say f*** it
Child support and visitation are not dependent issues.

I think it is a bad idea for you and the kids for you and STBX to be together at the beach. Confusing for the kids and emotionally draining on you. I'd bow out.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:38     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/566470.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/570638.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/639091.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/653336.page#11173719


Wow. OP sounds exhausting


We get it, sock puppet.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:37     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/566470.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/570638.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/639091.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/653336.page#11173719


Wow. OP sounds exhausting
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:32     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
I've bee seeing your threads here and there op. I'm sorry this is happening. It can all be confusing. I think you're right to reach out and get advice, and sorry some people are being a bit hostile to you. When I'm reading their responses, I cannot imagine where the vitriol comes from.

I see how vulnerable you are because I have a sil who could be in your situation at any moment. Fed/overseas/marriage troubles, and it can be a really unique situation. Hard to find advice.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:22     Subject: Re:Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.


I think she's being a bitch, too. She literally said "you're not the only one going through this." As though she were a primary player too. She wants to make sure I have a "stock answer" ready at my daughter's birthday party, which she's hosting on Saturday.


I've got a feeling your mom has a long history of ignoring your feelings. When you got married, you picked up where she left off - ignoring your own feelings about red flags that undoubtedly popped up.

Time to correct course and start paying attention to your gut saying you should stay the hell away from the entire situation.

And make sure your kids' passports stay with you.


All their documents, including their passports, are staying with me. My mom is likely a narcissist- I know that word gets thrown around a lot, but I think it is true. But yes, I am leaning toward bailing after the party.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:05     Subject: Re:Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.


I think she's being a bitch, too. She literally said "you're not the only one going through this." As though she were a primary player too. She wants to make sure I have a "stock answer" ready at my daughter's birthday party, which she's hosting on Saturday.


I've got a feeling your mom has a long history of ignoring your feelings. When you got married, you picked up where she left off - ignoring your own feelings about red flags that undoubtedly popped up.

Time to correct course and start paying attention to your gut saying you should stay the hell away from the entire situation.

And make sure your kids' passports stay with you.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 17:00     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:This might be long.

I have posted on various boards about my marriage - how horrible it was and how horrible it's been since I left. My husband won't give me any money for the kids, he's being a total jerk in communication, we can't reach an agreement about anything, etc....

Well, my mom today told me how upset she is that our upcoming beach vacation won't just be a "happy family" scenario. Like, jeez mom, sorry my marriage ended - it must be so hard for you! She went on to defend my husband, including his unwillingness to pay support, by saying it was probably a real surprise for him to find us gone. (He cheated on me, was emotionally abusive, financially controlling, and had a drinking problem - she knows all of this).

Here's the dilemma: my husband is coming to the states in a few days and will be staying for three weeks. He's supposed to keep the kids for most of that time. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to go to the beach with my mom - STBX will stay nearby with the kids and come and go. I'm so disgusted with him, with the situation, and now with her, that I'm tempted just to drop the kids off and stay home until I'm supposed to pick them up again.

WWYD?


Definitely this. You need a break. Maybe STBX will show his true colors and maybe your mom will recognize them. Maybe not. But why bother to find out?
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 16:58     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:why did you invite him to the family beach house?


He's not invited, but he has friends nearby. Since he's in the states for such a short time, I agreed to let him have the kids. My mom wants them around while we're there.


Hope he does not do a runner with your kids. Hard to get the kids back when they are in another country.


It sounds like she did the same thing to him.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 16:57     Subject: Re:Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.


I think she's being a bitch, too. She literally said "you're not the only one going through this." As though she were a primary player too. She wants to make sure I have a "stock answer" ready at my daughter's birthday party, which she's hosting on Saturday.


I assume that since you've said you have no money or a job, that your mother is helping you financially and in other ways. Am I wrong?




I've been using a cash advance from a credit card. She is not supporting me.


At minimum she is throwing your daughter a party and paying for a nice vacation for you. What a bitch.

I expect she is also doing other things to help your kids, who are probably a mess.

Skip the vacation, but I'd work on being kinder to your loved ones, you're going to need them.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 16:55     Subject: Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:why did you invite him to the family beach house?


He's not invited, but he has friends nearby. Since he's in the states for such a short time, I agreed to let him have the kids. My mom wants them around while we're there.


Hope he does not do a runner with your kids. Hard to get the kids back when they are in another country.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2017 16:52     Subject: Re:Just want to say f*** it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.


I think she's being a bitch, too. She literally said "you're not the only one going through this." As though she were a primary player too. She wants to make sure I have a "stock answer" ready at my daughter's birthday party, which she's hosting on Saturday.


I assume that since you've said you have no money or a job, that your mother is helping you financially and in other ways. Am I wrong?




I've been using a cash advance from a credit card. She is not supporting me.