Anonymous wrote:I think it's ok OP to express your insecurities to your DH. Tell him you wish you felt more attractive; you wish you physically felt better (re: gerd); you miss having sex with him; and maybe see if you 2 can cuddle and kiss at least.

Communication is key and you don't want him to misunderstand your insecurities (not meant to be insulting) as disapproval.

If you're posting on DCUM, it seems like you do want to talk about it, OP, just not with your husband.

I agree with this advice to try to talk it out. Your husband should be your ultimate confidant, and not DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me sick. Porn is disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue here is just that she's not feeling attractive and the whole thing is making her feel insecure. It's hard when you're pregnant, OP. Don't worry. He loves you and thinks you're beautiful. Don't take it personally.

Thank you that's really all it is I'm not mad at him at all I just feel super crappy from all angles. The last thing I want is to make him feel guilty about handling this the right way I just can't control my emotions.

You absolutely can control your emotions. Do you think if you got worked up about waiting in traffic because being in a car at 9 months was so uncomfortable you slammed on the gas and rear ended someone do you think the office and judge would say " Oh well she's 9 months pregnant. Can't control herself Lolz."

No. You are choosing to fixate on this. Drop it and go on to something else like maybe doing a few last minute things you need to do before baby comes. Grab hubby and go to a movie and lunch.

Him masturbating and looking at poen has absolutely nothing to do with you or attraction. Zero.

Sometimes its just nice to take care of yourself.

Good grief, everybody does that. Maybe give him a hand job to make it up.

Anonymous wrote:OP, use your hands or your mouth.

Op's DH has hands too and is fully capable of getting himself off.

This whole thread makes me sick. Porn is disgusting.

Make sure he doesn't feel bad about masturbating. Neither of you should feel bad about this (even if your hormones might tell you otherwise.)

Guy here. Here is what you do. Walk up to him right now, You sit down on a chair, have him stand, and give him a bj.

He still finds you attractive, I hope. Let one thing lead to another.

DW and I had great sex in the 9th month. DW did not feel attractive and was worried about hurting the baby. OBGYN told her (I was there) that sex can help move things along, and that we can not hurt the baby.

So, we spent the weekend in bed. Labor started on Tues. After that, there was no sex for a while....

Anonymous wrote:Even when you were having sex 1-2x a week, he was taking care of himself 3-10x per week.

I don't think you need to say anything, but if you say anything, it should be "I thought it was kind of hot when I walked in on you, even though I am not really up for PIV, I am happy to assist"

Yep, keep it light.

I think it's ok OP to express your insecurities to your DH. Tell him you wish you felt more attractive; you wish you physically felt better (re: gerd); you miss having sex with him; and maybe see if you 2 can cuddle and kiss at least.

Communication is key and you don't want him to misunderstand your insecurities (not meant to be insulting) as disapproval.

Even when you were having sex 1-2x a week, he was taking care of himself 3-10x per week.

I don't think you need to say anything, but if you say anything, it should be "I thought it was kind of hot when I walked in on you, even though I am not really up for PIV, I am happy to assist"

I know you don't want to talk about it, but you need to get it out. Have a quick conversation, tell him it's really no big deal at all and if he wants some help next time, just let you know. I promise that a HJ or just being with him while he takes care of himself would be hugely appreciated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue here is just that she's not feeling attractive and the whole thing is making her feel insecure. It's hard when you're pregnant, OP. Don't worry. He loves you and thinks you're beautiful. Don't take it personally.

Thank you that's really all it is I'm not mad at him at all I just feel super crappy from all angles. The last thing I want is to make him feel guilty about handling this the right way I just can't control my emotions.

OP, I think most of the responses here are sympathetic to you and your DH. Some may come across as a little snippy, but I believe they're well intended, for the most part.

I've been married for nearly 18 years. I do what you caught your DH doing fairly frequently. DW knows (and does too, but less often). Still, these are, as you nicely put it, "private moments". All of us started masturbating privately - so, when we are "caught", it is rather awkward. I really like the suggestion someone made up thread - try to make light of it somehow. Your response about him "handling things the right way" might be a nice starter.

No worries, he loves you more than ever. Congratulations to you and DH on the new addition to the family!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue here is just that she's not feeling attractive and the whole thing is making her feel insecure. It's hard when you're pregnant, OP. Don't worry. He loves you and thinks you're beautiful. Don't take it personally.

Thank you that's really all it is I'm not mad at him at all I just feel super crappy from all angles. The last thing I want is to make him feel guilty about handling this the right way I just can't control my emotions.

Then put in some lingerie or nothing and put on a live show/model for him.

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue here is just that she's not feeling attractive and the whole thing is making her feel insecure. It's hard when you're pregnant, OP. Don't worry. He loves you and thinks you're beautiful. Don't take it personally.

Thank you that's really all it is I'm not mad at him at all I just feel super crappy from all angles. The last thing I want is to make him feel guilty about handling this the right way I just can't control my emotions.