Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:31     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Tell him exactly what you want. Why would you have him buy a book?


If that's the book I'm thinking of, it was very informative! Told me a lot of things I didn't know. I highly doubt that DW would ever have told me to do the things in the book -- but she liked them when I tried them!


what book is that?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:27     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Add a vibe to your sessions. For instance, if him going downtown doesn't get you all the way there, you can use a vibe during doggy. Win-Win!


I should mention that my wife and I have been doing this for years and it NEVER fails. Plus, it takes the pressure off of both of us to perform.


Are you my DH? Another DW here and this is also what we do.


Hmm. Let's see. Did we do it last night? Did we do it Sunday night? And if so, was it before or after Game of Thrones?


Nope, not mine. We got ours fri and sat and he's away this week.

OP: get the hitachi magic wand. It won't disappoint.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:19     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Add a vibe to your sessions. For instance, if him going downtown doesn't get you all the way there, you can use a vibe during doggy. Win-Win!


I should mention that my wife and I have been doing this for years and it NEVER fails. Plus, it takes the pressure off of both of us to perform.


Are you my DH? Another DW here and this is also what we do.


Hmm. Let's see. Did we do it last night? Did we do it Sunday night? And if so, was it before or after Game of Thrones?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:13     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Let's take the judgment out of the equation here. OP doesn't have a "problem." Like many women, she orgasms with certain types of stimulation, while another might not do much for her. Her husband tries, but he's not very good at it in general, or his style doesn't work for her. I've known a number of men who aren't very good at it, no matter how they try, or are only good when they really focus on the woman and get out of their own head. It takes a certain attention to her response to do it well.

I agree with others who are saying to add a vibrator to your sex with him. I personally like the coil vibrators because they're silent and produce a faster vibration that doesn't numb.



Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:11     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Add a vibe to your sessions. For instance, if him going downtown doesn't get you all the way there, you can use a vibe during doggy. Win-Win!


I should mention that my wife and I have been doing this for years and it NEVER fails. Plus, it takes the pressure off of both of us to perform.


Are you my DH? Another DW here and this is also what we do.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:09     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:Tell him exactly what you want. Why would you have him buy a book?


If that's the book I'm thinking of, it was very informative! Told me a lot of things I didn't know. I highly doubt that DW would ever have told me to do the things in the book -- but she liked them when I tried them!
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:09     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP. My suggestion is to ignore the people who want to blame you. If you want to make things better, by all means work on making things better. There have been some good suggestions about vibrators and showing him what you like.

Another thing I'd suggest is being incredibly specific about what you mean when you say you want him to be romantic. Describe actions he can take that you will perceive as romantic. (From my perspective as a dumb guy, "romance" has always seemed incredibly subjective. The same guy could do the same things for different women & one would perceive it as romantic while the other would not.)

People aren't blaming her. We are asking her to take responsibility for her own pleasure....like you mentioned above, vibrators and showing him what you like are examples of her taking responsibility.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:07     Subject: Re:Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:
Why is it his sole responsibility to give you an orgasm? Why aren't you taking your orgasm? Do what you have to do or tell him what you need. Just lying there on your back ain't getting it done. How about a little enthusiasm from you?

DP...I agree she should work with him on it, and isn't that why she is posting here? To get advice on what else she can do? If she can just take care of her own needs then what's the point of having sex with him?

Sometimes I do feel this way. DH sometimes can't get me off (and yes, I communicate with him), so I'd rather just do it myself without him. Much less pressure.


Pleasuring yourself can be part of the experience with your partner. I don't think many men would be turned off by that. A bigger turn off, I would imagine, is a lazy, disinterested partner.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:06     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
I'm a NP. My suggestion is to ignore the people who want to blame you. If you want to make things better, by all means work on making things better. There have been some good suggestions about vibrators and showing him what you like.

Another thing I'd suggest is being incredibly specific about what you mean when you say you want him to be romantic. Describe actions he can take that you will perceive as romantic. (From my perspective as a dumb guy, "romance" has always seemed incredibly subjective. The same guy could do the same things for different women & one would perceive it as romantic while the other would not.)
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 13:05     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Just great. Blame you inadequacies on your DH. It must be all his fault you don't have an orgasm.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 12:57     Subject: Sex life with DH just not that good
Sounds like you have the problem. Quit blaming him and do a little self analyzing
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 12:57     Subject: Re:Sex life with DH just not that good
Why is it his sole responsibility to give you an orgasm? Why aren't you taking your orgasm? Do what you have to do or tell him what you need. Just lying there on your back ain't getting it done. How about a little enthusiasm from you?


I'm not sure what that means. I try to be enthusiastic and try new positions with him, but none of them make me orgasm. Some of them he likes, and some of them he doesn't.

Well, it sounds like you and your DH might be sexually incompatible. But you know this when you were dating. How was that supposed to change? Sometimes you make tradeoffs in a relationship and sex seems to be one that you made with him. It seems unfair of you to now reneg and blame him for the problem which already existed.


What do you mean "reneg?" I'm trying to figure out how we can improve this area of the relationship. Why shouldn't I try to do that?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 12:54     Subject: Re:Sex life with DH just not that good
Why is it his sole responsibility to give you an orgasm? Why aren't you taking your orgasm? Do what you have to do or tell him what you need. Just lying there on your back ain't getting it done. How about a little enthusiasm from you?

DP...I agree she should work with him on it, and isn't that why she is posting here? To get advice on what else she can do? If she can just take care of her own needs then what's the point of having sex with him?

Sometimes I do feel this way. DH sometimes can't get me off (and yes, I communicate with him), so I'd rather just do it myself without him. Much less pressure.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 12:54     Subject: Re:Sex life with DH just not that good
Anonymous wrote:
Why is it his sole responsibility to give you an orgasm? Why aren't you taking your orgasm? Do what you have to do or tell him what you need. Just lying there on your back ain't getting it done. How about a little enthusiasm from you?


I'm not sure what that means. I try to be enthusiastic and try new positions with him, but none of them make me orgasm. Some of them he likes, and some of them he doesn't.

Well, it sounds like you and your DH might be sexually incompatible. But you know this when you were dating. How was that supposed to change? Sometimes you make tradeoffs in a relationship and sex seems to be one that you made with him. It seems unfair of you to now reneg and blame him for the problem which already existed.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 12:51     Subject: Re:Sex life with DH just not that good
Why is it his sole responsibility to give you an orgasm? Why aren't you taking your orgasm? Do what you have to do or tell him what you need. Just lying there on your back ain't getting it done. How about a little enthusiasm from you?


I'm not sure what that means. I try to be enthusiastic and try new positions with him, but none of them make me orgasm. Some of them he likes, and some of them he doesn't.