Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Anonymous wrote:Good luck OP! Since in real life no one wants to hear struggles about your "gifted child" I just wanted to offer support here as raising gifted children presents its own challenges. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with the questions, energy, sensitivities and intensity.

I am a big believer that you know your kid best and can gauge as you go along what techniques, activities he seems most responsive to. I may get flamed here, but I find my toddlers both love the workbooks aimed at preschool/kindergarten set. We use lots of colored pencils for "school" and incorporate fun aspects with coloring, discussing pictures on pages etc. The goal is the method not the final product. I emphasize that because often bright kids get used to praise for the end product which they can easily produce and can become paralyzed later in life when faced with something that does not come easily for them.

Social skills are also paramount. If your child tends high on IQ spectrum it can be more challenging for him to feel he fits in with age based peers due to asynchronous development. I would focus on lots of play-based social outings.

And lastly, I second PP's comment regarding discussing everything the child seems interested in (another source of exhaustion,and I say that lovingly), but really important to keep child stimulated and interested in learning.

Enjoy this time and remember life is the journey and not a race.

thanks for this. I think I am going to sneak a little workbook time. I realize it seems ridiculous, but it's like, I can't explain it. He seems like a literal sponge, if I only follow his lead he will happily fill his brain with daniel tiger and blippi youtube videos, but I've got to step it up.

Read and discuss the book. Ask open ended questions about the story and about how the characters are feeling.

Rinse and repeat many times a day!

Anonymous wrote:That kid is probably not smart or bright, but most likely is gifted within the similar IQ range as your husband. With your husband's experience, what you need to do for your kid is try to find him a few intellectual peers, perhaps look into moving near good programs for gifted students - not smart ones, and educate yourself about giftedness.

Don't wait for the educational system to test him at the same time they get everyone. Get him tested privately in a year or two or three, but don't wait until here's 6 years old and bored and maladapted to his environment, has already caught a couple of bad habits from being an outlier, and his traditional school tells you tit-for-tat "you say he's gifted but he won't finish assignments and does [unwanted behavior x]".

If he's currently fascinated with space, do offer him more information on it. It's his fascination so you wouldn't be pushing anything, but following his lead. Age-appropriateness is simply not relevant, and it rarely is anyway, even with non-gifted kids. Take him to the library, and look through kids books on space with him.

Reading is a tricky issue. Because he is so eager for facts and info, you know he'll just take off and be able to feed himself what he's craving as soon as he's reading. You probably suspect he would learn to read quickly if you tried. There is no amount of tiger mommying that will get most bright children to learn to read at two, or the pressure and the work it would require are unnatural and likely harmful. But it is likely your boy will read long before his peers, so once he knows all his letter sounds, it won't hurt to try.

Thank you for this.

We are both raised in military families. We have no family members who went to private schools or ivy league schools. Our parents were the first of their generation to attain any higher education, and yet my husbands IQ is in the 98 or 99 percentile. Even if a lot of posters don't believe me, that's fine.

For those saying, let him be. That's what my husbands parents did and I don't think it particularly worked. My husband is the smartest person I have ever met. He can fix anything. He understand and reads more than anyone I know, in depth about subjects that are arcane and weird, just for fun. He is very loving and kind and we have great relationships with our families. He regrets that he wasn't pushed harder. He got a near perfect SAT score with no prep and yet a D average. You automatically get letters from Ivy Leagues at that point, but he didn't bother applying to any schools because he didn't want to go to college.

Funnily enough, its the grandparents that are really filling me with doubt. I think they are self-conscious. If I get a non-toddler book from the library, or a hard seeming puzzle, they remark on it not being for him even if he happily flips through the pages. They buy him Mickey stuff and sit him in front of the TV.


We both have our concerns about public education. My husband taught himself to read at 4. His strongest memory of kindergarten is being forced to assign himself a red frowny face day after day because he wouldn't sit still and called the lessons stupid.

I'm not saying I want him tested. I'm saying I recognize that I think I need to be more informed. I think I need to get out of the shame of "oh everyone thinks their kid is gifted, sweetheart" and say, "no, look at him, this isn't about me, this is about him" and really start to fight for him.

Anonymous wrote:That kid is probably not smart or bright, but most likely is gifted within the similar IQ range as your husband. With your husband's experience, what you need to do for your kid is try to find him a few intellectual peers, perhaps look into moving near good programs for gifted students - not smart ones, and educate yourself about giftedness.

Don't wait for the educational system to test him at the same time they get everyone. Get him tested privately in a year or two or three, but don't wait until here's 6 years old and bored and maladapted to his environment, has already caught a couple of bad habits from being an outlier, and his traditional school tells you tit-for-tat "you say he's gifted but he won't finish assignments and does [unwanted behavior x]".

If he's currently fascinated with space, do offer him more information on it. It's his fascination so you wouldn't be pushing anything, but following his lead. Age-appropriateness is simply not relevant, and it rarely is anyway, even with non-gifted kids. Take him to the library, and look through kids books on space with him.

Reading is a tricky issue. Because he is so eager for facts and info, you know he'll just take off and be able to feed himself what he's craving as soon as he's reading. You probably suspect he would learn to read quickly if you tried. There is no amount of tiger mommying that will get most bright children to learn to read at two, or the pressure and the work it would require are unnatural and likely harmful. But it is likely your boy will read long before his peers, so once he knows all his letter sounds, it won't hurt to try.

Re: testing, this info is absolutely WRONG. Multiple studies have shown that getting kids tested before elementary school is a waste of time and money. All OP needs to do is a quick google search to see that most kids who test as gifted as toddlers go on to be right on par with their non-gifted classmates by elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:You didn't say anything about his social skill. I think he needs less of you and more of other kids. You'll see soon that there are plenty of sharp toddler.

+1 can you at least get him into a part-time pre school? If not, then make sure you're going to kid-based activities like story time at least a few times a week.

You didn't say anything about his social skill. I think he needs less of you and more of other kids. You'll see soon that there are plenty of sharp toddler.

Make use of all the free museums (or family days at the pay museums) we have- they have great family activities.
Go to the library at least once a week- take advantage of programs there
Read read read- audio books and music in car too
Talk to them using your adult language
Run and laugh and play
Go to the park every day
Go outside when it rains, jump in puddles
Have a children garden and grow edibles
Make a rice box (big container with rice and toys- sort of like a sandbox,but easier to handle)
Play with water in the tub or outside.
Get a fish tank, then get a hamster when they are older and can take care of it
Save all the card board boxes and use them to build thing. Once DC made a "Beaver" home in our living room with all the shoe boxes
Do experiments at home
Get clay out, crayons out, paint and get messy
Build something with glue and popsicle sticks
Cook and bake together
Ask questions, answer questions, look up the answers to questions......
Hug and kiss and say "I love you"
Play card games and board games- have family game night
Get legos
Take them to the grocery store and talk about what you are buying and why
Take them to a farm
Go hiking
Teach them how to swim
Encourage friendships and socialization- especially if they are behind
Relax and have fun

That kid is probably not smart or bright, but most likely is gifted within the similar IQ range as your husband. With your husband's experience, what you need to do for your kid is try to find him a few intellectual peers, perhaps look into moving near good programs for gifted students - not smart ones, and educate yourself about giftedness.

Don't wait for the educational system to test him at the same time they get everyone. Get him tested privately in a year or two or three, but don't wait until here's 6 years old and bored and maladapted to his environment, has already caught a couple of bad habits from being an outlier, and his traditional school tells you tit-for-tat "you say he's gifted but he won't finish assignments and does [unwanted behavior x]".

If he's currently fascinated with space, do offer him more information on it. It's his fascination so you wouldn't be pushing anything, but following his lead. Age-appropriateness is simply not relevant, and it rarely is anyway, even with non-gifted kids. Take him to the library, and look through kids books on space with him.

Reading is a tricky issue. Because he is so eager for facts and info, you know he'll just take off and be able to feed himself what he's craving as soon as he's reading. You probably suspect he would learn to read quickly if you tried. There is no amount of tiger mommying that will get most bright children to learn to read at two, or the pressure and the work it would require are unnatural and likely harmful. But it is likely your boy will read long before his peers, so once he knows all his letter sounds, it won't hurt to try.

Anonymous wrote:You can't force bright. bright either is or isn't present, much like charisma.

Of which, OP has none!

Anonymous wrote:Limit screens. Read to him. Let him play. Give him art supplies and building toys (Duplos). Listen to music. Go outside. That's it. Don't overthink it.

Even the screen limiting is whatever. My husband grew up in front of the TV, my inlaws are awesome people but getting involved with kids is not their thing. Husband is very bright (went to an league school) and well adjusted. Only unfortunate side effect is that he's now in show business.
Bright kids will find a way, so don't stress OP, play and watch movies together and just enjoy your kid.

Talk to your child, read books, visit nature centers and museums, expose your child to music, art, and theater. Do things around the house like cooking and cleaning and explain what you're doing and why. Pretend play and dress-up are good, too.

I think it's funny when folks think a large vocabulary equals intelligence.

Good luck OP! Since in real life no one wants to hear struggles about your "gifted child" I just wanted to offer support here as raising gifted children presents its own challenges. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with the questions, energy, sensitivities and intensity.

I am a big believer that you know your kid best and can gauge as you go along what techniques, activities he seems most responsive to. I may get flamed here, but I find my toddlers both love the workbooks aimed at preschool/kindergarten set. We use lots of colored pencils for "school" and incorporate fun aspects with coloring, discussing pictures on pages etc. The goal is the method not the final product. I emphasize that because often bright kids get used to praise for the end product which they can easily produce and can become paralyzed later in life when faced with something that does not come easily for them.

Social skills are also paramount. If your child tends high on IQ spectrum it can be more challenging for him to feel he fits in with age based peers due to asynchronous development. I would focus on lots of play-based social outings.

And lastly, I second PP's comment regarding discussing everything the child seems interested in (another source of exhaustion,and I say that lovingly), but really important to keep child stimulated and interested in learning.

Enjoy this time and remember life is the journey and not a race.

Bless your heart, OP.