OP, I only skimmed your posts, and missed if you've actually gotten an evaluation. No one can diagnose your kid over the internet. So if you have concerns get on a waitlist for a developmental pediatrician or have a neuropsych evaluation done next year.

I could list a bunch of things that my SN kid does that's in the range of normal.

Anonymous wrote:My son did a lot of what you are talking about - except instead of being touchy feely with friends, he would try to approach complete strangers (adults) and talk with them about his interests or whether he thought their younger child should be climbing so high on the playset.
He did get extremely angry and aggressive when transitioning and he did pee on the floor a few times when he was in a meltdown. At age seven, he was diagnosed with ADHD and social pragmatics impairments.
The good news OP, is that even though this behavior seems extreme, it will get better. Even if it's ADHD, it will likely get significantly better within a year or two. What is interesting is that my DS's ADHD isn't severe- it's mild/moderate. Even mild ADHD *can* cause significant behavior problems in the younger years that vastly improve with age.

Also, OP, for a long time, my DS's issues didn't show up at school--I get why that can be confusing, but in our case he held in the tantrums at school and let it all out at home. In fact, my son had few to no issues at school until the environment at school was too complex for him to navigate--and even then, the issues were distraction and social pragmatics--not meltdowns or aggression.
I understand from talking with other parents of kids with ADHD that this is not uncommon.

My son did a lot of what you are talking about - except instead of being touchy feely with friends, he would try to approach complete strangers (adults) and talk with them about his interests or whether he thought their younger child should be climbing so high on the playset.
He did get extremely angry and aggressive when transitioning and he did pee on the floor a few times when he was in a meltdown. At age seven, he was diagnosed with ADHD and social pragmatics impairments.
The good news OP, is that even though this behavior seems extreme, it will get better. Even if it's ADHD, it will likely get significantly better within a year or two. What is interesting is that my DS's ADHD isn't severe- it's mild/moderate. Even mild ADHD *can* cause significant behavior problems in the younger years that vastly improve with age.

I have a son much like yours OP, and I've posted here several times in the past. I've gotten some great advice, some scary advice and a lot of everything in between.

I would say that you can't go wrong by starting to read some parenting books - ones that were especially helpful to me were Kazdin's work on the Defiant Child, and now that my son is more verbal, Ross Greene's work (www.livesinthebalance.org).

I think the fact that your son has done well at school is very encouraging. We have gone to see a therapist a few times regarding our son (just the parents, parents and child, parents and both kids, etc...) and the conclusion is that we have a bright, charming, kid who needs to mature. Perhaps your son is in the same category.

In any case, seeking a professional to talk with can do nothing but help, and perhaps you'll find some of the parenting literature helpful.

Regardless of whether there is a diagnosis, much of the advice for parents of kids this age is the same - driven by retraining the parents to use techniques that are more successful w/ the child(ren) they have.

Good luck!

From everything written, it sounds like getting an accurate diagnosis and possibly, professional help seems reasonable. Sometimes, answers to our questions are within us because we know our children and ourselves better than anyone else.

To OP, what do you believe should be the next step?

^^my older child's initial PDD-NOS diagnosis was made by Childrens at 18 months. Later re-confirmed by Dr Shapiro, followed more recently by Dr Black. (Diagnosis is now ASD.)

Other child was tracked by Children's until age 3.5. Shapiro later diagnosed ADHD. Neuropsych with Black will happen soon.

Both kids have gotten PT, OT, speech, and social skills/special education through IEPs (though PT has now mostly been phased out).

And we've supplemented all services for years, with weekly PT, speech, OT; plus therapy camps, social skills, etc.

Together these interventions have made a huge difference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be ADHD, could be sensory, could be a 5 year old being a 5 year old. Wait, observe, support, love. The answers will come over time. There is nothing to do now. It is so hard and frustrating. You being the steady base of love and allowing him to be himself - whoever that self is over time - is what he needs now. Time will tell, teachers will provide feedback and observation and suggestions of intervention if needed. For now, sit tight and let him be. You sound like a great mom and are doing a great job!

While this is well-intentioned advice, I wholeheartedly disagree with the "wait" part. Had I listened to the family members, teachers, friends and pediatrician who advised almost the same thing, my ASD child never would have received early intervention services; ditto my ADHD child, who has had a robust IEP since PK4.

If you have concerns about your child, seek an evaluation. Worst case is you learn you have nothing to worry about.

NP - Where did you go for your diagnosis/early intervention services? Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:Could be ADHD, could be sensory, could be a 5 year old being a 5 year old. Wait, observe, support, love. The answers will come over time. There is nothing to do now. It is so hard and frustrating. You being the steady base of love and allowing him to be himself - whoever that self is over time - is what he needs now. Time will tell, teachers will provide feedback and observation and suggestions of intervention if needed. For now, sit tight and let him be. You sound like a great mom and are doing a great job!

While this is well-intentioned advice, I wholeheartedly disagree with the "wait" part. Had I listened to the family members, teachers, friends and pediatrician who advised almost the same thing, my ASD child never would have received early intervention services; ditto my ADHD child, who has had a robust IEP since PK4.

If you have concerns about your child, seek an evaluation. Worst case is you learn you have nothing to worry about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: you've described my ADHD five-year-old almost perfectly.

Except if he got a diagnosis I'd venture to guess the behavior was a problem at school and for OP it doesn't seem to be.

Yes, my 5-yr-old child with the ADHD diagnosis had challenges at school ranging from difficulty transitioning to problems attending (especially with non-preferred activities). Medication has helped, though it hasn't been a silver-bullet.

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exact same.

Could be ADHD, could be sensory, could be a 5 year old being a 5 year old. Wait, observe, support, love. The answers will come over time. There is nothing to do now. It is so hard and frustrating. You being the steady base of love and allowing him to be himself - whoever that self is over time - is what he needs now. Time will tell, teachers will provide feedback and observation and suggestions of intervention if needed. For now, sit tight and let him be. You sound like a great mom and are doing a great job!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: you've described my ADHD five-year-old almost perfectly.

Except if he got a diagnosis I'd venture to guess the behavior was a problem at school and for OP it doesn't seem to be.

Yes, my 5-yr-old child with the ADHD diagnosis had challenges at school ranging from difficulty transitioning to problems attending (especially with non-preferred activities). Medication has helped, though it hasn't been a silver-bullet.

The hitting and peeing on the floor on purpose at almost five sounds like an issue to me--and if it is straining your marriage, I agree with others, in suggesting you find some help.

When you post your child's behaviors, someone on this board is always going to say "That sounds like my child with XYZ."

Anonymous wrote:OP: you've described my ADHD five-year-old almost perfectly.

Except if he got a diagnosis I'd venture to guess the behavior was a problem at school and for OP it doesn't seem to be.