Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 18:01     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
I know older people who do this OP. The recipes are so much a part of themselves that they don't want to share. It is what it is. Most people now don't worry about it, your aunt sounds like an exception. It's strange, but not much you can do. At least she's not giving you a fake version with an ingredient left out.

Personally, I would try to reverse engineer the recipe based on flavors and what you know. May be the closest you can get.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 17:36     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:I know of a woman who shredded the recipe for her cabbage rolls before she died, so no one would have it. Now that is what I call selfish. I'd rather people enjoy it after I'm gone and speak kindly of me when eating the dish.


I think this is selfish. I don't think there's anything wrong or mean per say about waiting to pass down a recipe later. But withholding forever, how strange!.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 17:13     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:Recently I spoke to a family member who mentioned that she doesn't like to share her recipes. She's a pretty good cook and could be a chef in her own right. For some reason I was shocked about this. Is this normal? She pretty much said she works really hard on her recipes and only intends to share them with her children and their spouses in order to pass down the recipe.


This is very common. It's not nice, per say, but hardly as upsetting to me as family members who don't share critical health info with each other. My cousins and I found out the hard way about some serious autoimmune illnesses that affect women in our family. I would still have had kids, but would have made a different career choice. One of my cousins would not have had kids.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 17:11     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
I know of a woman who shredded the recipe for her cabbage rolls before she died, so no one would have it. Now that is what I call selfish. I'd rather people enjoy it after I'm gone and speak kindly of me when eating the dish.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 17:05     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
* come out the same
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 17:05     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:I find that so silly. I'm a very accomplished cook and people regularly ask me for recipes. I share freely. Number one, why wouldn't I want for my friends to be able to make what they loved? And number two...for people who want to be exclusive...that's complete BS. Listen and take it from someone who worked in commercial kitchens. I can give you a complete, step-by-step recipe from the best chefs in the business. And you can follow it religiously. Guess what?? You aren't going to end up with the same thing! You don't cut things the same way, you don't hold your knife the same way, the concept of "well done" means different things to you, your sense of seasoning is not the same, your style, your judgment, your taste is not the same, and your eye and skill is not the same. This is why no one will be able to recreate your recipe completely! So why bother with this ridiculous hoarding, I don't know. Share good food and enjoy.


I would say baking may be a bit different. Most recipes come out the and if you do exactly what the recipe says.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:53     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
My MIL doesn't like to share her secret chocolate chip cookie recipe because it's the exact same one on the back of the toll house bag.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:48     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:My aunt will give a recipe but tell you ONE thing totally wrong so yours won't come out as well as hers.

I think it's ridiculous.


Lol!
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:35     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
My MIL gives me multiple copies of recipes I don't want that she claims DH likes (so-so). Why do you care?
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:30     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
I find that so silly. I'm a very accomplished cook and people regularly ask me for recipes. I share freely. Number one, why wouldn't I want for my friends to be able to make what they loved? And number two...for people who want to be exclusive...that's complete BS. Listen and take it from someone who worked in commercial kitchens. I can give you a complete, step-by-step recipe from the best chefs in the business. And you can follow it religiously. Guess what?? You aren't going to end up with the same thing! You don't cut things the same way, you don't hold your knife the same way, the concept of "well done" means different things to you, your sense of seasoning is not the same, your style, your judgment, your taste is not the same, and your eye and skill is not the same. This is why no one will be able to recreate your recipe completely! So why bother with this ridiculous hoarding, I don't know. Share good food and enjoy.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:19     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Why not just Google it and make your own version, based off what you find online? Maybe it will be even better than your relative's.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:05     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:My MIL is like this. But I don't like that I once asked her how to make something my DH has liked since childhood and she wouldn't tell me. For her own son.


Op here, yes. That's crazy!!!
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:05     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My aunt will give a recipe but tell you ONE thing totally wrong so yours won't come out as well as hers.

I think it's ridiculous.



I think that's far more ridiculous! In that case, I would much prefer someone just say they don't share their recipes.


+1 That said, I do know people who will not say it and instead give out a "bad" recipe (missing one ingredient or a wrong temp or a wrong step). In fact, my own great-grandma did it to her DIL (my grandma) when my new-bride-grandma asked for the family recipe for something like pork chops that my grandpa loved from his childhood.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:04     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:It's selfish. It's cooking for the praise, not for people to truly enjoy the food you lovingly prepared.



Op here, I would have to disagree. Said Family Member isn't an attention seeking person, nor is she selfish. I was pretty upset with her because I'm family too, but I can understand after reading pp's response that some people like the idea of passing thing on to be remembered by. Now taking it to her grave, that would be oh so weird!
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 16:02     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My aunt will give a recipe but tell you ONE thing totally wrong so yours won't come out as well as hers.

I think it's ridiculous.



I think that's far more ridiculous! In that case, I would much prefer someone just say they don't share their recipes.


There was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond in which Raymond's mother did this. I've never heard of anyone in real life doing it.