My son in law decided one morning that he was leaving the marriage..with no lead up or discussion about it. From that moment on...completely arrogant, horrible asshole. Our daughter was in such shock, we had to organize an atty and help her fend off his behavior. Lawyer was not surprised. Happens with men...probably there is someone else.

Anonymous wrote:In the week since we've separated, my STBXH has:

-drained our joint checking account
-threatened criminal action against me
-threatened me with criminal action if I don't sign a separation agreement HE wants (blackmail)
-listed my car for sale (I left the area where we were living)
-threatened to take custody of the children

Less than a week.

Well this list kinda shows that you are doing the right thing by divorcing him. A man that you would reconsider divorcing wouldn't be doing things like this. Then of course you wouldn't probably want to divorce a man who is being civil about the divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

Listen. You have posted 100 times on this site and I advise you to come to the US but don't post "you don't really know somebody until you divorce".

You clearly knew he was crazy.

You are wrapped up in the drama. You need to stop posting and get serious amounts of therapy.

Good luck!

Well thanks. Part of why I post on an anonymous forum is for community and support. IRL issues like this are difficult for people to discuss.

I also had no idea he would be so vindictive. I guess part of me was hoping my leaving would make him remorseful.

You need to get a good attorney and a good therapist, and separate yourself from all of the drama with this. Your last sentence in this post makes me think you want the drama and emotion. Hoping that divorce will cause a spouse to feel remorse, is not the reason to leave.

Anonymous wrote:In the week since we've separated, my STBXH has:

-drained our joint checking account
-threatened criminal action against me
-threatened me with criminal action if I don't sign a separation agreement HE wants (blackmail)
-listed my car for sale (I left the area where we were living)
-threatened to take custody of the children

Less than a week.

My guess is you two deserved each other, and your divorce will be as messy as your marriage.

See a lawyer OP. Get a shark. Drain all other accounts NOW before he has a chance to access them. Document document document

OP, is the car title in your name only? If you drain other accounts, make sure you only take 1/2. Is your DH still overseas? Stuck there due to job? If so, I don't know that he can really get custody short term.

Please, please, please, see a good attorney ASAP and get your legal situation squared away. Find out what you need to document your financial situation and custody. International custody can be complicated, and parents who don't comply with court orders or do things that make it seem like they are kidnapping kids can be treated very harshly by the court. Get advice from the lawyer about what kind of contact you can and cannot safely facilitate between kids and husband.

Stay strong, OP! And if you ever have doubts about what you are doing, this will help remind you of his true colors.

I think I recognize you, too, OP, from your previous posts. You can't say you didn't know he was like this. That's why it's so tough to get out and start over. You didn't seriously think he'd roll over and become a sweet, loving, generous person at this point who'd put your happiness and the kids' well-being first. Good luck. I hope, for the kids' sake, you are able to get everything worked out.

I'm so sorry OP. He sounds horrific. Sending you a hug- stay strong.

OP, I hear you.

Stay the course OP. I hope you find a job and land on your feet soon. Best to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

Listen. You have posted 100 times on this site and I advise you to come to the US but don't post "you don't really know somebody until you divorce".

You clearly knew he was crazy.

You are wrapped up in the drama. You need to stop posting and get serious amounts of therapy.

Good luck!

To OP's credit, I have replied/posted a bunch of times about my XH's emotional and financial abuse while I was a SAHM. So, it is not all her.

However, I agree that the topic of this post isn't

But knowing this process, going through this kind of divorce myself, it makes you bounce through periods of crazy and periods of clarity. You have to keep reminding yourself that you did the right thing getting out, often doubting yourself.

I have an amazing circle of friends and family, and therapy. But sometimes you need some place to dump and you have to give your circle a break. That is why DCUM is helpful. Dump, get it out, move on and if people here don't want to read it, they don't have to get involved.

At least you are away from him OP. He sounds psychotic

Anonymous wrote:In the week since we've separated, my STBXH has:

-drained our joint checking account
-threatened criminal action against me
-threatened me with criminal action if I don't sign a separation agreement HE wants (blackmail)
-listed my car for sale (I left the area where we were living)
-threatened to take custody of the children

Less than a week.

Without knowing the full story, I can't criticize him. Maybe he has good reasons for doing that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

Listen. You have posted 100 times on this site and I advise you to come to the US but don't post "you don't really know somebody until you divorce".

You clearly knew he was crazy.

You are wrapped up in the drama. You need to stop posting and get serious amounts of therapy.

Good luck!

Well thanks. Part of why I post on an anonymous forum is for community and support. IRL issues like this are difficult for people to discuss.

I also had no idea he would be so vindictive. I guess part of me was hoping my leaving would make him remorseful.

Ignore the pathetic troll, OP, who is probably nursing his wounds because his own wife got sick of his sad loser self and kicked his fat butt to the curb.