You're going to have to do the math to see where the money is/could be going. Maybe you spend $6k/year eating out, maybe you spend $40k on private schools, maybe your mortgage is sucking up half your take home pay.

Do the math and you will have your answer.

We bring in about $75k and it is a struggle.

If you're going back to work with a grad degree, you will probably rise up relatively quickly and get to at least 90-100k, right? and daycare doesn't last forever. If you really think it will be too tight with your salary and daycare, why not wait to go back? It really sounds like you will totally fine once daycare is done though, so "making ends meet" seems a bit dramatic. People who are struggling to make ends meet are robbing Peter to pay Paul, ie, moving debt around with no prospect of further income and choosing which bills and food are necessary for each paycheck.

(fyi we're 90k with a SAHP, mortgage, no remaining student loan debt (only one BA and no grad school), 2 ten year old cars, no consumer debt, 1 kid)

We live in northern va comfortably by shopping at aldi, trader joes and international markets with a list, ignoring restaurant hype, treating ourselves to drinks or dessert out rather than dinner, always having a frozen pizza in the freezer and mac and cheese available for non-planned meals, and enjoying the plethora of free and reduced cost activities that are available in DC, arlington and fairfax county. We also genuinely enjoy our family and the outdoors so vacations are to visit them or camping.

Please come back and post your budget! We are a family of 3 with a combined salary of $165,000. We have been able to save for retirement, saving for a downpayment, and go on 2 vacations/year, but we do follow a budget pretty strictly. If we put another kid in mix, it would be really hard to save any money, and we'd rarely be able to go out for a nice dinner or vacation. Right now daycare is $1100/month, and we probably spend another $200-$500/month on kid related stuff (food, clothes, gear, etc.)

We paid off student loans before we had a baby. We use an inhome daycare because it's almost half what a center costs. We buy everything used. No car loans because we drive 10 year old cars. Our mortgage is $2100 (including taxes and insurance) and we DIY everything.

We think we live a great life. It's all about perspective.

OP, are you tracking your spending? We used Mint religiously when we were trying to figure out where all the money was going and then to make a budget and monitor compliance. It can be a pain, but it gives you a good picture of where the leaks in your finances are. Often, it's not the extravagant stuff but rather the trips to Target where we'd add a bunch of things we didn't need to the cart.

YNAB is another tool, but I'd watch the videos on YouTube before subscribing because it's a different philosophy than a lot of budgeting tools. It might be helpful if you've got debt, though.

$130K is not a huge amount for this area, but it's a lot better than many other people are doing, too. It's doable, but you've got to ensure you've got a good handle on your spending. A few of the most obvious cut points tend to be cell phone plan costs, cable/streaming services, and eating out, but, without seeing your budget, that's tough to call.

OP my DH and I are at a similar salary level with one DS and student loans. After deductions we are taking home about 7K a month which does not stretch as much as you would think in this area. One thing I have learned over the past few years is to be really reluctant to assume any new fixed expenses. We can not afford any more childcare so we did not have another child, and we stagger schedules to minimize childcare in the Summer. We also use Mint to track our expenses. It gives me a good ballpark of what we should be spending in various categories.

Good luck!

Sell your house and buy something less expensive? $130k can be a very comfortable income, the problem is when you lock yourself into big expenses like mortgage and student loans without thinking of the long-term implications. You are stuck with the loans but maybe you could reduce your housing expense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easy, have a low mortgage under $2000 a month, watch what you spend, older paid off cars, no student loans.

Right. Guess you didn't read the OP.

NP.

Lesson learned: don't dig yourself into a hole with student loans. Go to state school and work while you are a student. I hope the op doesn't let her kids make the same mistake she and her spouse did.

Switching gears: op should work...even if she's in grad school. (I worked while I was in college and law school.)

Life should get easier (financially) when she goes back to work.

Anonymous wrote:130 k is a huge amount of money. More than 99 percent of the population of the world live on, and more than 80 percent of the population of the region live on.

What is your budget"

This is a useless comment. Many industrialized countries have free or low cost healthcare, education, and child care. PP's salary is drained for the same reason everyone else's is: stagnant incomes but risings costs. OP, no advice beside the typical penny pinching tips. I would look to bring in more $$ (second job? Or finding a higher paying job in general). Good luck. Many many people in the same boat.

How much did you spend on a grad degree if you're projecting it will only boost your salary by 50k?

Have you considered refinancing?

Why are you not self disciplined enough to have money (start small) automatically withdrawn from your paycheck to go into retirement?

You're leaving out a lot of important details op. If you want dcum help you need to provide budget, expenses, and why $10,000/mo isn't enough for you.

Anonymous wrote:I make ends meet very well on $110,000, but I'm single. Probably would be tight with a family, but for an individual, it's very comfortable.

Why did you even bother posting?

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious.

Serious about what?

Anonymous wrote:I make ends meet very well on $110,000, but I'm single. Probably would be tight with a family, but for an individual, it's very comfortable.

OMG.

I make ends meet very well on $110,000, but I'm single. Probably would be tight with a family, but for an individual, it's very comfortable.

You can't be serious.