Anonymous wrote:
Unless his mother is diabolical and wants to sabotage your relationship, such a deception is a deal-breaker.
If he lied to his mother, that is a deal-breaker as well (but who would lie that way around?).

Basically, he only lied to me about the house. His whole family knows he rents. His mom didn't know that he lied to me.

Unless his mother is diabolical and wants to sabotage your relationship, such a deception is a deal-breaker.
If he lied to his mother, that is a deal-breaker as well (but who would lie that way around?).

This is a HUGE sign that this person can lie & lie, yet feels no remorse or shame from doing so.

That lying to someone they love is truly no big deal to him.

And it is highly likely he is lying to you about other stuff in life.

He obviously has no integrity in his character.
If you decide to marry him anyway and try glossing over his "little" lies, then eventually you will end up in a ton of emotional pain because lies H-U-R-T.
And they also destroy.

Do not marry this guy.
He obviously does not think you are worthy of the truth....

You need to dump him.mhow can you marry a loser who has blatantly lied to you for so long, and for no reason? He is so lame. You are a loser too if you decide to marry him despite this huge neon flaming red flag.

You should be able to go to the county website and check property tax records for his address, and see who the owner is. This is free and very easy to do.

If he is not the owner, dump him immediately and block him completely from your life. Lying never gets better, only worse. Your feelings of betrayal and hurt are valid. You don't deserve to be lied to, and he is a very bad person for lying in the first place. Run. Fast.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So did you have a conversation with him about this?

Or did you just take what mom said and run with it?

I didn't say anything until we were back at my place alone. I said "who''s Dave and why did your mom ask if he had it rented out when you ended your lease". He admitted to it then.

Was he apologetic? Did he say why he lied? Did he seem embarrassed or concerned about your feelings and the damage he has done to your relationship? Or did he deflect and refuse to take responsibility for his lies? All things to think about when deciding what to do next

He was apologetic, said he felt inferior. Asked what it means for us. That's when I said I needed a few days.

I told him that I need to be alone for a few days, so he packed a bag and is
at his dads. He has a bunch of his stuff at my house. Can't believe this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So did you have a conversation with him about this?

Or did you just take what mom said and run with it?

I didn't say anything until we were back at my place alone. I said "who''s Dave and why did your mom ask if he had it rented out when you ended your lease". He admitted to it then.

Was he apologetic? Did he say why he lied? Did he seem embarrassed or concerned about your feelings and the damage he has done to your relationship? Or did he deflect and refuse to take responsibility for his lies? All things to think about when deciding what to do next

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So did you have a conversation with him about this?

Or did you just take what mom said and run with it?

I didn't say anything until we were back at my place alone. I said "who''s Dave and why did your mom ask if he had it rented out when you ended your lease". He admitted to it then.

Has he ever lied about anything else? College he attended or his job or anything like that? It sounds like he may have very low self esteem and perhaps was intimidated that you own your own place yet he is a renter. I can't tell you what to do, but in my experience this is a very bad sign that does not bode well for a future with him. Very sorry OP, but glad that you are not making excuses for him.

He hasn't lied about other things, THAT I KNOW OF, but at this point, I just don't know.

Why would you doubt your feelings are valid?!! This is a HUGE LIE, one he was going to have to lie and lie and lie to cover up -- eventually you surely want to see statements, rental income, tax bills and so on. Dump this man immediately.

I have a friend who had to break an engagement and dump the guy due to finding out one big lie. After she did so, she started finding out about all the other lies. An ex-GF of his then contacted her and told her horror stories. His family members started telling her the truth about him.

She totally dodged a big bullet. You can too.

PP from above and just wanted to add that I have known some compulsive liars in the past. Strange as it sounds, they were good people who had very low self esteem and needed to lie to make themselves feel good. Google "compulsive liar" to read more about this condition.

PP from before, get the F#$K out of this engagement. He's either using you for money or you saw the first signs of his potential to become an abusive partner. Pathological liars are dangerous people, please get help and get out. His Mom probably already knew this about him, the house was her way of telling you to GTFO.

Huge red flag. I will postpone the wedding and then have time about considering dumping him. This is also creepy. Do you want to share your life with such a person?

The is a red flag in your face. Do not ignore it or excuse it. You cannot trust this person who fabricated a story like this. You should call off the engagement and do not listen to some sob story about why he lied. He is a liar.