[quote=Anonymous]Prior generations knew better

You Cant do it all

The updated key is that the higher earning spouse should work and the other should stay home regardless If its the Male Or female

Dc none wins its a two income trap

[/quote]

But were prior generations happy?

I dropped down to 80%. I have Fridays off. This is the only way I can manage all of the unexpected things that need to get done- plumber, doctor's appt, etc. I use Fridays to get organized- pay bills, schedule stuff, do laundry. That way when the weekend comes I can enjoy going to the kids' sports activities or other activities.

My brother and his wife both work demanding jobs. They have an after school nanny. She picks the kids up from after care every day at 4:30 and gets them to any activities. Or she takes them home, gets homework started and feeds them dinner. She also covers some random days off from school. They've found good luck by hiring a preschool teacher or college student looking for something regular, but part time. For longer school holidays, the grandmas help out.

I work full time, but have a less demanding job than my DH. That's on purpose so I have flexibility. I cover a lot of the random days off, or again, we have some grandparent help if we plan it right.

I will also add make sure you have a google calendar and sync it with your husband's phone/calendar so he knows whats going on so you don't have to reiterate the same thing 100 times to him.

I have two kids (2 year old and 8 month old) and I am UBER organized so much so my sister makes fun of me (she is not as organized). I have a very flexible job where I work from home. I 95% of the day to day parenting since DH has a super demanding job and works a lot. I don't feel too stretched thin since I do a lot during the day in between deadlines. Laundry, grocery shopping, light house cleaning, cooking, bills, random house emergencies, gardening, etc all gets done while the kids are at daycare. When I have deadlines I can't get it all done and I just get the bare minimum done. When I have no deadlines I get everything done.

It also helps that my DH is super appreciative of everything that I do and I actually don't mind doing all of these things for my family. I never wanted a super high stress high demand job so its a win win for our family.

1) husband who engages

2) google calendar

3) housekeeper 2xs a month

4) an amazing nanny who does laundry, picks-up and periodically makes dinner (my kids are older and we are never letting her go ? She is amazing.)

Anonymous wrote:Organization is key, OP. For instance, you might be better off setting out everything needed for the day the night before.

This is the answer. I have three kids and rarely feel like you do. You get everything ready on the weekend. You designate a place for everything and you put everything in its place and you check that place before you go out the door. You look at the school calendar once and identify what childcare you need. Then sit down and arrange it. Diary a date on you calendar to schedule summer camp. I view camp as childcare, so I don't spend tons of time finding the perfect thing - safe , convenient, and affordable are the criteria. They are all fun.

As your kids get older and are involved in the process, teach them not to procrastinate and to be organized.

[quote=Anonymous]Prior generations knew better

You Cant do it all

The updated key is that the higher earning spouse should work and the other should stay home regardless If its the Male Or female

Dc none wins its a two income trap

[/quote]

Prior generations faced different challenges. We are trying to help OP if she needs or wants to continue working. Time travel back to the 1950s is not an option.

Prior generations knew better

You Cant do it all

The updated key is that the higher earning spouse should work and the other should stay home regardless If its the Male Or female

Dc none wins its a two income trap

If you could afford to quit your job you could probably afford to pay for some help. Get a maid, if you don't already have one. We have a nanny who also does the groceries and some of the cooking plus runs errands. It's a life saver.

You have to get a level of organization and routine you've never needed.
A dry erase master board color coded by person in a visible area
A google calendar that your DH can add to
Routine! Everynight be ready to walk out the door in the morning. Everyone's clothes are picked out (including yours) the night before. Lunches are packed. Belongings are by the door.
A place for everything and everything in its place. Keys especially.
I have a folder with school forms and other paperwork, one for bills and misc things that need to be done and set aside a time in my schedule each week to knock them out.
Set aside time in your schedule to make all your house hold phone calls.
Outsource what you can.
Schedule. Routine.

FT working mom of 3, toddler through elementary age. I am very fortunate to have a flexible job and supportive boss. When I didn't have that in my precious job, I felt overwhelmed all the time, and cutting down to part time didn't help much at all.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed it's probably because over I've over-committed. Sometimes there are just tough days and I remind myself tomorrow is a new day.

Things that help keep me sane the rest of the time are:
- keep dinner simple (it's always the same rotation and nothing fancy)
- hired a house cleaner twice a month (all I have to do is the easy maintenance cleaning in between but no more scrubbing the bathroom)
- prep lunches and anything that needs to go to school the night before
- lower (more realistic, not perfectionist) expectations

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its 9:45am and already I feel totally spent for the day. My two kids go to daycare full time and one will be starting Kindergarten this fall.

I forgot some things my kids needed at daycare today because we were rushing out of the house. I had to go back home and get it after dropping them off. Then I was on the phone trying to coordinate a plumber.

I got to work and looked at the schedule for next year for K and there are so many random days off, so many early release days.

My husband's job is super demanding. Mine is flexible but I still feel so stretched. And then camp next summer...I can't even think about it.

I feel like every day I wake up with a to do list of at least 20 things and then by the time the day is over nothing seems done because 10 more things got added to the list.

I feel like I am about to fall apart.

How do working moms do it when their kids are in school with so many days off plus you are responsible for everything else?

You are looking too far down the road. One-day-at-a-time is our motto.

Not OP... no, you need to think ahead and plan accordingly. You don't want to be caught unawares. For example, certain summer camps get full by February. If you work, you have to plan vacation days around school closures.

Plan meals ahead; make as much as you can over the weekend and freeze it.

If you're not a naturally organized person (as I am not) spend some time learning about systems that people use. I listen to the productivity show podcast and I have learned so much. Here's an example of a great show about planning your week.

http://www.asianefficiency.com/podcast/083-kendra-wright/

Getting organized will make a huge difference.

I got a nanny, and put my kids in part time preK for socializing - I did drop off; nanny did pickup. Later, I went PT. I did all the mental work for the kids, like you, but even with a flexible job, it was a lot to try to get done. I was working nights after kids went to bed.

I have four. Its a shit show. I have learned to embrace it. I have a super flexible job. I let balls drop. I don't sign them up for very many activities, some but no travel teams, not too many kids in things at the same time. I wait for my husband to express interest in an activity for them so he can manage it...example swimming, he loves taking them to swimming lessons, so that is what they do. I like taking them to music so that's what I do. Move to a small town. Commutes just complicate things. Let a clean house go. Its ok to eat eggs or ham sandwiches for dinner. Stop beating yourself up over everything. Half ass jobs become the norm...sorry