Anonymous wrote:My mom asks "Are you watching the Bachelor?" each and every time we see her. None of us has ever watched it. And every time, we say no. But she'll launch into a discussion of the most recent episode as though we'll find it impossible to resist. "You girls watching..." "Grandma, no, we aren't watching The Bachelor!" "Oh, well, there was some scandal..."
Then once when a relative we rarely see made a reference to the show, my mom inexplicably denied watching such trash tv. She later told me she didn't want Aunt Sue to judge her.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have been visiting my in-laws house for, well, 12 years. My FIL, who I love dearly, tells me the EXACT same stories about their quaint New England town each year. Every year, he acts as if I have never visited before. I find it hilarious and wish I had thought to take a video each time he tells the same story. It would have been YouTube gold.
The other hilarious thing my in-laws do is they carry on two different conversations with me at the same time. They will each speak at the same time - totally different topics - while sitting next to one another in the car. Of course it's a challenge for me to try to keep each conversation going, but I do. Apparently, they do this with everyone else in the family as well. It's just so funny.
I need more humor in my life clearly.
Hahaha my inlaws are currently here and they do this too!! It's a position of power, really...they both start talking to me about something totally different at the same time, and it's like AH who do I look at / respond to first?! I try to switch it up equally (plenty of opportunities, really)
I would totally watch that YouTube video, btw.
Mine do this too! I try really hard to participate in both convos, but husband has given up and just ignores them until one triumphs over the other.
Question for all 3 PPs...what happens when you or someone else actually says, "Hold on Mary, Bob...I can't talk to you both at once about different topics!"
I've tried saying something like that ("Sorry, what was that? I can't quite follow you both!") and I get a chuckle, but it doesn't change anything long term. I'm not comfortable speaking up more because it seems like just how this family operates, and I don't think it's my place to rock the boat. But your advice seems like something obvious I haven't tried, so maybe I'll try that wording next time!
Just because a dynamic is "the way it is" doesn't mean that you have to tolerate it. I would never allow myself to be repeatedly pulled into this type of unhealthy dynamic--whether they realize it or not, they are clearly competing with each other/being passive aggressive toward one another. Politely shut it down, every time. Whether or not they change your behavior, YOU don't need to be put in the middle of their immature conduct.
Oh my god you need to get a life
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have been visiting my in-laws house for, well, 12 years. My FIL, who I love dearly, tells me the EXACT same stories about their quaint New England town each year. Every year, he acts as if I have never visited before. I find it hilarious and wish I had thought to take a video each time he tells the same story. It would have been YouTube gold.
The other hilarious thing my in-laws do is they carry on two different conversations with me at the same time. They will each speak at the same time - totally different topics - while sitting next to one another in the car. Of course it's a challenge for me to try to keep each conversation going, but I do. Apparently, they do this with everyone else in the family as well. It's just so funny.
I need more humor in my life clearly.
Hahaha my inlaws are currently here and they do this too!! It's a position of power, really...they both start talking to me about something totally different at the same time, and it's like AH who do I look at / respond to first?! I try to switch it up equally (plenty of opportunities, really)
I would totally watch that YouTube video, btw.
Mine do this too! I try really hard to participate in both convos, but husband has given up and just ignores them until one triumphs over the other.
Question for all 3 PPs...what happens when you or someone else actually says, "Hold on Mary, Bob...I can't talk to you both at once about different topics!"
I've tried saying something like that ("Sorry, what was that? I can't quite follow you both!") and I get a chuckle, but it doesn't change anything long term. I'm not comfortable speaking up more because it seems like just how this family operates, and I don't think it's my place to rock the boat. But your advice seems like something obvious I haven't tried, so maybe I'll try that wording next time!
Just because a dynamic is "the way it is" doesn't mean that you have to tolerate it. I would never allow myself to be repeatedly pulled into this type of unhealthy dynamic--whether they realize it or not, they are clearly competing with each other/being passive aggressive toward one another. Politely shut it down, every time. Whether or not they change your behavior, YOU don't need to be put in the middle of their immature conduct.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have been visiting my in-laws house for, well, 12 years. My FIL, who I love dearly, tells me the EXACT same stories about their quaint New England town each year. Every year, he acts as if I have never visited before. I find it hilarious and wish I had thought to take a video each time he tells the same story. It would have been YouTube gold.
The other hilarious thing my in-laws do is they carry on two different conversations with me at the same time. They will each speak at the same time - totally different topics - while sitting next to one another in the car. Of course it's a challenge for me to try to keep each conversation going, but I do. Apparently, they do this with everyone else in the family as well. It's just so funny.
I need more humor in my life clearly.
Hahaha my inlaws are currently here and they do this too!! It's a position of power, really...they both start talking to me about something totally different at the same time, and it's like AH who do I look at / respond to first?! I try to switch it up equally (plenty of opportunities, really)
I would totally watch that YouTube video, btw.
Mine do this too! I try really hard to participate in both convos, but husband has given up and just ignores them until one triumphs over the other.
Question for all 3 PPs...what happens when you or someone else actually says, "Hold on Mary, Bob...I can't talk to you both at once about different topics!"
I've tried saying something like that ("Sorry, what was that? I can't quite follow you both!") and I get a chuckle, but it doesn't change anything long term. I'm not comfortable speaking up more because it seems like just how this family operates, and I don't think it's my place to rock the boat. But your advice seems like something obvious I haven't tried, so maybe I'll try that wording next time!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have been visiting my in-laws house for, well, 12 years. My FIL, who I love dearly, tells me the EXACT same stories about their quaint New England town each year. Every year, he acts as if I have never visited before. I find it hilarious and wish I had thought to take a video each time he tells the same story. It would have been YouTube gold.
The other hilarious thing my in-laws do is they carry on two different conversations with me at the same time. They will each speak at the same time - totally different topics - while sitting next to one another in the car. Of course it's a challenge for me to try to keep each conversation going, but I do. Apparently, they do this with everyone else in the family as well. It's just so funny.
I need more humor in my life clearly.
Hahaha my inlaws are currently here and they do this too!! It's a position of power, really...they both start talking to me about something totally different at the same time, and it's like AH who do I look at / respond to first?! I try to switch it up equally (plenty of opportunities, really)
I would totally watch that YouTube video, btw.
Mine do this too! I try really hard to participate in both convos, but husband has given up and just ignores them until one triumphs over the other.
Question for all 3 PPs...what happens when you or someone else actually says, "Hold on Mary, Bob...I can't talk to you both at once about different topics!"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:mu MIL and FIL live about 5 miles away
every month I hear the same stories.
This. My FIL talks about how it was during and post war and how little they had to eat or how what we are eating in modern day America is a feast. He was 7-10 years old during the war (he immigrated here). He is now 75 but it left a lasting impression. My MIL went hungry too but she finds new topics to talk about.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My MIL finds a way to make "do you bake with butter, or Crisco" a part of every. single. conversation. I swear, we could be talking about Britney Spears or film noir or board games, and she will find a way to get butter v. Crisco in there.
Freak her out and say margarine.
Lol!!!
Anonymous wrote:I have been visiting my in-laws house for, well, 12 years. My FIL, who I love dearly, tells me the EXACT same stories about their quaint New England town each year. Every year, he acts as if I have never visited before. I find it hilarious and wish I had thought to take a video each time he tells the same story. It would have been YouTube gold.
The other hilarious thing my in-laws do is they carry on two different conversations with me at the same time. They will each speak at the same time - totally different topics - while sitting next to one another in the car. Of course it's a challenge for me to try to keep each conversation going, but I do. Apparently, they do this with everyone else in the family as well. It's just so funny.
I need more humor in my life clearly.
Anonymous wrote:My MIL finds a way to make "do you bake with butter, or Crisco" a part of every. single. conversation. I swear, we could be talking about Britney Spears or film noir or board games, and she will find a way to get butter v. Crisco in there.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My MIL finds a way to make "do you bake with butter, or Crisco" a part of every. single. conversation. I swear, we could be talking about Britney Spears or film noir or board games, and she will find a way to get butter v. Crisco in there.
Freak her out and say margarine.
Anonymous wrote:My MIL finds a way to make "do you bake with butter, or Crisco" a part of every. single. conversation. I swear, we could be talking about Britney Spears or film noir or board games, and she will find a way to get butter v. Crisco in there.