OP here. Thanks for the responses.

Here's another interaction that hit a nerve. He went away to some place without cell service and we've been chatting on one of the apps that uses wifi, but I had to download it and I've never used it before. I mentioned I don't see his messages right away, apologized for taking so long to respond sometimes.

He said, "LOL we need to get your phone fixed at some point."

WE don't need to do anything about my phone that works just fine.

Trying not to jump ship so soon. Trying to wait it out. Probably going to run for the hills. UGH.

Anonymous wrote:I think "we should go camping sometime" is harmless, "I want you to come camping with me next weekend, you're going to have a great time" would freak me out.

+1.

The first statement is a way to feel out common interests. The second is creepy.

PP here, want to add that commitmentphobes are known to do this.

Anonymous wrote:Coworker and I went out after work over the weekend, met some cute guys. Been texting with one and he suggested a fun date and then also commented he would like to go camping and said we should go. He hasn' been in awhile.

My abusive ex made long term plans quickly. And I went out on a date 6 mo ago with a guy who made long term plans quickly without knowing me. The date got very weird, controlling, so I never saw him again.

I got a little freaked out by this guy mentioning we should go camping. Are big plans very quickly always a sign of a bad relationship?

Yes. I've had this happen to me several times, and the relationship never ended well. I think shady men do this to get you hooked early on, to make it easier to have sex with you. They tell you what they think you want to hear and try to sound impressive, but they are morons. Avoid.

I now run away fast if a guy I barely know starts talking big plans for us. HUGE red flag.

As women we worry so much about being murdered. Of course that's a possibility, but it would be a much rarer thing than the real risk here--which is OP's question. It's much more likely that the guy is unhealthy in relationships than hoping to get her out into the woods to cause physical harm.

*non-committal

and

*natural pace

The camping is a side issue.

Yes big plans too soon are usually a flag. The beautiful thing is that you don't have to consent to anything you don't want to do. "I love camping! Let's talk about it sometime in the future."

If you're agreeable but non-comital and he pushes that's your answer. As another poster said, he should adjust to mirror you until the nature pace takes over.

Anonymous wrote:Big plans aren't an issue. Camping alone in the woods with someone you don't know IS an issue.

I agree, woman here. I love camping but even if I hit it off like crazy with someone I still wouldn't invite/go with them off into the woods alone. It seems creepy and I'm not very creeped out by the woods and stuff. If it was a big trip with a few other people it would be different, because it would seem more like "I really like you and want you to meet my friends on this fun outing." One on one camping, it's "I wanna get you alone where no one else is around."

Big plans aren't an issue. Camping alone in the woods with someone you don't know IS an issue.

Wanting to camp at all is a red flag IMHO.

This is a grey area. Some people really like camping. For some people, it is very intimate, for others, it is casual. Personally, I hate camping/sleeping on the ground (or more accurately for me, lying awake on the ground because I can't sleep because I am not comfortable).

Sleeping in the same tent is not quite the same as together in a room,

Anonymous wrote:For your own personal welfare + safety, do not go camping w/someone you just met.

A stranger no less!!

The last place you want to be alone w/a stranger is in a remote mountain location!!

+1000
Sounds murdery!

For your own personal welfare + safety, do not go camping w/someone you just met.

A stranger no less!!

The last place you want to be alone w/a stranger is in a remote mountain location!!

Anonymous wrote:Discussing ideas and that kind of thing--maybe it's ok.

Actually going camping with someone so quickly--inadvisable.

It's a flag (maybe yellow, maybe red) that when someone projects so much about you that they think they know you and want to do x, y or z.

It's to be watched carefully. Calm down and step back to reasonable conversations. If that person doesn't mirror you and still pushes, bad sign.

I posted that in my experience it was a red flag I learned after the fact, but thanks for explaining the projection part and the mirroring idea to further indicate if it's an issue. Much appreciated.

I think "we should go camping sometime" is harmless, "I want you to come camping with me next weekend, you're going to have a great time" would freak me out.