Are you and DH setting a healthy example? You said they refuse to diet with you. Are you and DH overweight too? Are you trying to lose weight and get the kids to lose weight too, now that it's become a somewhat unmanageable problem?

The registered dietitian and psychologist combo route are your best bet for dd. Ds is an adult, so not much you can do. If you see success with dd, I'd tell ds you'll offer to pay for him to see a RD and psychologist too if he thinks it will help.

It sounds like they're at the point where they're dealing with food addictions, and I've been there. I tried all the fads, gave up for a while, then went the route I suggested and had great success. It's hard though. They need your support, and for you to work alongside them if you're not already eating healthy, not your nagging and lectures.

Ease up on OP. She is trying. Not easy

Your DD isn't going to change until she internalizes the need to lose weight, and she's not going to do that if it's coming from you. It's possible she will be made fun of in high school at that weight, and at that point, perhaps she'll start wanting to lose weight. That's when you want to be available for her to come to you when she's crying and upset about it and get comfort -- not more judgment. That's when you want her to chose healthy ways to slowly lose some weight and get in shape, not binge diet or develop bulimia or anorexia.

What you need to do is stop commenting on her body and her choices. Make sure that you are eating in a healthy way and doing exercise. Be a role model for her. Talk about your health and do these things to be HEALTHY, not to lose weight or look better. Invite her to join you if she feels like it for a run or whatever exercise you chose -- but just for fun and to be healthy, not because she "needs to" or "should lose some weight."

Get rid of junk food in the house but don't ask her if she eats it when she's out, and don't judge her if she does. Kids are going to eat that stuff because it's fun, their friends are doing it (whether they are overweight or not -- many skinny kids eat terribly unhealthy diets), and it's addictive. What you can control is what she eats at home and what kind of influence you are for her.

It sounds like you're locked in a huge power struggle with her, and it's only going to get worse as she gets older. The best thing is to be compassionate and supportive for her, listen to her, etc. -- and be the type of mom she's going to feel comfortable coming to when she has problems in high school, not someone she's afraid will heap additional judgment and criticism on her when she comes to talk with you about something she's upset about.

I would get your daughter tested for PCOS.

And how does she not fit into the uniform? You just buy the size that fits.

I was that girl. Not 200 pounds but a size 14 for sure. I felt like my mother only loved me if I was thin. And I just stopped caring. In relation to anything "she" said, at least.

Because that did not mean that I didn't want to lose weight. I did. But it was so friggin hard. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD, with executive function issues, and actually sitting down to plan meals out for the day and week was "incredibly" difficult for me to do. Add any stress in life like hard classes, hard project at work, broken relationship, etc., and I just could not do it.

I'm a healthy weight now, after a very long journey. Just putting it out there in case there is something like ADHD going on. People with ADHD are at a greater risk than the general population of having weight issues.

First have a frank discussion with your kids about health and how you worry about making sure they have a good lifestyle of eating habits and exercise. Tell them of any family history of heart disease, diabetes, etc so they understand the seriousness. Remind them that people are prone to judgements and you want them to feel good about themselves and not hurt by cruel comments. Then seek outside help from a nutritionist or dietician. You cannot control what they do outside but make your house a place of nutrition and good food. It will take time. It won't be fun. But you seemed devoted to your kids so just tread carefully that you don't drive a wedge in your relationship.

I don't really know the right advice to give you, but just wanted to say I'm sorry for your family's situation. Being overweight is hard at any age, and as a parent I'm sure it's hard to see your young adult kids continuing to make poor decisions. Seems like getting help from a medical professional or two is the best place to start. Wish you the best, and hope you and they find your/their way through this.

You need to see a nutritionist for your DD. Your DD needs to have a nutritionist talk to her. Nutritionists needs to talk to you. Whatever you have been doing and trying is not working, seek medical help. Didn't the pediatrician refer you to somebody? Surely, they did? That is the only advice anybody normal could give you, to seek medical help.

Also, consider signing up the family up for a 6 or 10 mile race that you all have to train for.

Get the whole family bikes this summer and hit the trails every other morning, increase the distance on each outing. The pounds should start falling off, especially if they change at least some eating habits. seeing results by changing the diet alone will be difficult and slow.

As horrifying as it was for me to witness as a mother, it took a playground bully type scenario where someone called my sweet kid a "fat kid" that started the conversation. About a year later he was crushing on a girl and suddenly he was eating healthy, working out, and watching his weight without so much as a word from me.

We have friends who sent their son to a fit camp. They've had good success so far, but time will tell if he sticks to the new habits he picked up there.

Also, watch what you buy. No one needs snacks. Buy groceries for three healthy meals and that's it. If there's no junk food in the house, it will limit their snacking.

I was a size 14 when I entered high school and was surrounded by tiny girls. High school can be CRUEL and I definitely had some of the mean comments thrown my way. Summer after freshman year, I decided to eat healthy and go on jogs. I lost 25 lbs that summer and went back to school a size 8-10 and felt much better about myself.

Highschoolers nowadays are even more cruel. Not saying this in a mean way at all...but she WILL be made fun of if she's tipping 200lbs going into highschool. I know it's harsh but it's the truth. You need to help her fix this now. Go on family walks, cook ONLY healthy meals, no junkfood in the house, etc.

My mom was nasty towards me about my weight. Saying how I had such a pretty face and if I could just lose some weight, i'd be perfect. Commenting on anything I ate or drank. I remember drinking a lemonade on a hot summer day and she asked me if I "really needed that lemonade". Don't be like that or it'll just make things worse. I started to resent her and would sneak food and soda.

I second what a PP said though. Are her friends also heavy/overweight? If so, that can make things harder as I'm sure they all eat like crap together. Maybe she can take up jogging with some of her friends? Encourage walks/hikes or other fun stuff that involves exercising. Shes' young enough that she can drop some of that weight pretty quickly. Even getting down to 150-160 will make her feel a lot better.

Anonymous wrote:Things you can do

take them to the doctor
send them to fat camp
send them to a culinary school where they learn to cook delicious and healthy foods

take away their allowance, ground them, keep them in the house and remove all bad foods from the kitchen.

The most important thing you need to do is not listen to the idiot above.

Things you can do

take them to the doctor
send them to fat camp
send them to a culinary school where they learn to cook delicious and healthy foods

take away their allowance, ground them, keep them in the house and remove all bad foods from the kitchen.