Anonymous wrote:I enthusiastically say "yes! you told me this! It was so funny!"

+1 I do this too. I actually mean it to be like “I was listening! I remember! Don’t worry, I see you I remember what you said.”

But sometimes I will say it like “yes, you told me.” I mention it that way when someone actually has an issue around being repetitive and I am firm to let them know they are heard. I really only do this with ppl whom I’ve also discussed this issue with though so they know what is happening in the moment.

Fwiw, I actually have an issue being repetitive and my DH does the same with me. I actually want him to so I can get better about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who tells me the same info on her life multiple times. Sometimes I will just say, nicely, oh you mentioned that. Frankly it makes me feel like she really doesn't remember our conversations and/or she is sharing this info with so many people she can't keep track of it.

Was coming to say exactly this. It's the only time I will say, "Yes, you already told me this." When it happens a lot and it becomes clear that I am interchangeable with other people in terms of just being a listening ear. It indicates a shallow relationship when it happens a lot.

I should also note that in the few friendships I've had where this has been an issue, it ran both ways. They would tell me the same information and stories over and over, and they would also just instantly forget anything I shared with them, even private things I shared about my personal life with the assumption that they understood it was an act of trust. I just got to the point with these friends that they weren't really interested in me as an individual, but just in having a friend, any friend. Or plans, any plans.

I like spending time alone so I don't understand the point of friendships that are just having the same conversation over and over again. Why? Go home and watch reruns of the office if that's what you want. (Not saying this is you OP -- it sounds like your friend was rude. I'm talking about other people.)

I agree with this. Aside from the elderly, this problem is endemic to those people who do not truly participate in conversations but talk at you. They don't digest anything you tell them. They don't remember what they told you because you are just a receptacle for their talking, a convenient audience.

To avoid hearing a long-winded story all over again, I say it, but I try to express it nicely.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who tells me the same info on her life multiple times. Sometimes I will just say, nicely, oh you mentioned that. Frankly it makes me feel like she really doesn't remember our conversations and/or she is sharing this info with so many people she can't keep track of it.

Was coming to say exactly this. It's the only time I will say, "Yes, you already told me this." When it happens a lot and it becomes clear that I am interchangeable with other people in terms of just being a listening ear. It indicates a shallow relationship when it happens a lot.

I should also note that in the few friendships I've had where this has been an issue, it ran both ways. They would tell me the same information and stories over and over, and they would also just instantly forget anything I shared with them, even private things I shared about my personal life with the assumption that they understood it was an act of trust. I just got to the point with these friends that they weren't really interested in me as an individual, but just in having a friend, any friend. Or plans, any plans.

I like spending time alone so I don't understand the point of friendships that are just having the same conversation over and over again. Why? Go home and watch reruns of the office if that's what you want. (Not saying this is you OP -- it sounds like your friend was rude. I'm talking about other people.)

I'm such an open book that I forget who I've told what. If it's a short comment, I would just be courteous and keep my mouth shut or say something like "yeah, I remember you mentioning that. " people don't have to make others feel bad.

It's rude but so many people in this area are rude. They don't get it.

Anonymous wrote:Op here: The story was so short like maybe 1 minute. It was about something my 16 month old son did. I think I'm overly emotional. I don't have my parents living anymore and my in laws do not speak English and live abroad. I don't have many people to share baby things with. This friend has been rude in other ways. I wanted to see what people do in these situations. I don't tell people usually because I find it rude. I was very close to my grandmother growing up and I got used to this I guess. Her stories were very long but she loved telling them.

The thing is op nobody really cares about how amazing your kid is other than immediate family members. Sorry you don't have anyone to share but, it is true. Your friend was not rude to tell you heard your story. People also don't like it when others brag or go on about how wonderful their kid is.

You may be upset with your friend for other reasons but, I think because of it you are reacting negatively to something very basic. If I've told someone a story I don't get offended at all. I just say right sorry about that and either update or stop telling that story. It isn't a big deal/

Op here: The story was so short like maybe 1 minute. It was about something my 16 month old son did. I think I'm overly emotional. I don't have my parents living anymore and my in laws do not speak English and live abroad. I don't have many people to share baby things with. This friend has been rude in other ways. I wanted to see what people do in these situations. I don't tell people usually because I find it rude. I was very close to my grandmother growing up and I got used to this I guess. Her stories were very long but she loved telling them.

I have ADHD so I honestly don't always remember who I've talked to about what. I'm not offended if someone gently tells me that I've already talked about something. Sometimes I'll even ask.

Generally if someone is starting in on a story I've heard before, I will try to gently move them towards any update on the situation. Or I'll move to the punchline myself to share the emotion with them. I do have a friend who tends to be self-centered and judgemental who will share the same long stories over and over and over again so sometimes I do get more blunt than I should ... but sometimes I'm just over hearing about how the world is conspiring against her or how so-and-so is an idiot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I usually don't say anything. DH will tell me, and I find it very rude.

I find it rude to make someone listen to the same story twice. Is your ego so fragile it's more important that the other person stay silent?

+1

Obviously if I knew I was retelling the story, then I wouldn't retell. I forget sometimes who I told what to.

I have a friend who tells me the same info on her life multiple times. Sometimes I will just say, nicely, oh you mentioned that. Frankly it makes me feel like she really doesn't remember our conversations and/or she is sharing this info with so many people she can't keep track of it.

If you're offended by someone stating a mere fact to you, then it's your problem. Bonus points if you're being told this repeatedly.

I Heart Huckabees!

If it is an elderly person, I will listen, might even ask for more details, etc... But, if you are not elderly and boring the heck out of me, what is wrong with you? Yes, I will tell you, I would find it embarrassing if I forgot I told somebody something and am repeating myself. I would hope other people feel the same. Plus, truly, unless you are a kid of mine, relative, a very good friend, or have something that I am interested in, chances are I wasn't interested in it the first time, and even that was being polite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I usually don't say anything. DH will tell me, and I find it very rude.

I find it rude to make someone listen to the same story twice. Is your ego so fragile it's more important that the other person stay silent?

+1