Lack of intellectual stimulation. DW is sweet, devoted, and affectionate, but our deepest conversations involve what's for dinner or which of the three houses the HGTV couple will choose.

Mental illness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH keeps telling me to lean in and get promoted. I know he's just saying it so I don't take my foot off the pedal and ultimately realize I'm disappointed with my career, but I'm 15 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old. I earn $125k, so I'm not doing terribly, but it drives me to madness that he's so persistent in that I should be striving for more at this point.

I'm so tired that I'm just trying to do the job that I have.

Wow, have you told him to knock it off? Treading water is plenty fine for the next couple years.

I say it all the time. I was a military spouse for about 6 years, and it was difficult to bounce around the country with him and find reasonable work in my field (economist) for short periods of time (<2 year tours), so he feels responsible that I'm behind my peers. He's just a hard charger and doesn't at all understand my desire to be complacent at the moment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the default parent and it is exhausting. My DH acknowledges this, but I really think he has absolutely no idea how much I do.

This. One day last week my husband sent me an email telling me he'd pick up the kids and take them to the park so I could have some alone time at home. I think it was maybe the 3rd time I've been home alone since our daughter was born 4 1/2 years ago. I need that to happen way more frequently. And yes, it happens for him on a regular basis.

I started taking off a day every once in a while to just have a free day at home by myself. Still send the baby to daycare.

Anonymous wrote:DH keeps telling me to lean in and get promoted. I know he's just saying it so I don't take my foot off the pedal and ultimately realize I'm disappointed with my career, but I'm 15 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old. I earn $125k, so I'm not doing terribly, but it drives me to madness that he's so persistent in that I should be striving for more at this point.

I'm so tired that I'm just trying to do the job that I have.

Wow, have you told him to knock it off? Treading water is plenty fine for the next couple years.

Anonymous wrote:
sex. we have it, regularly, maybe 1x/week and its fine, pleasurable enough. but i think both of us has had it better, hotter with others. there's something inhibited about it with us.

This is what led to divorce eventually.

are you speaking from experience? just curious.

I've wondered whether our marriage would survive opening it up. I doubt it. I think I'm capable of separating sex from love and having an occasional outside thing to satisfy that itch. Pretty sure my spouse would not be okay with it and is the type to get emotionally wrapped up in sex.

My H's work hours. He doesn't get home until bedtime most days so that means I am doing 100% of all afternoon/evening activities, including: pick up, dinner, homework, sports practices, music lessons, showers and bedtime. And yes, I also work full time. I f*cking hate it.

Lack of sex, which is causing emotional distance, feeling rejected.
He has ed and is low drive and won't do anything about it.

Resentment about things that happened/ways that we treated each other in the past.

Anonymous wrote:I am the default parent and it is exhausting. My DH acknowledges this, but I really think he has absolutely no idea how much I do.

This. One day last week my husband sent me an email telling me he'd pick up the kids and take them to the park so I could have some alone time at home. I think it was maybe the 3rd time I've been home alone since our daughter was born 4 1/2 years ago. I need that to happen way more frequently. And yes, it happens for him on a regular basis.

DH "flips a switch" and becomes emotionally abusive when we fight. We fight a lot.

Anonymous wrote:sex. we have it, regularly, maybe 1x/week and its fine, pleasurable enough. but i think both of us has had it better, hotter with others. there's something inhibited about it with us.

This is what led to divorce eventually.

A wife who refuses to work full time so I take the brunt and stress of paying bills. And no, we have no minor children. Already doing the logistics of leaving.

sex. we have it, regularly, maybe 1x/week and its fine, pleasurable enough. but i think both of us has had it better, hotter with others. there's something inhibited about it with us.

DH keeps telling me to lean in and get promoted. I know he's just saying it so I don't take my foot off the pedal and ultimately realize I'm disappointed with my career, but I'm 15 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old. I earn $125k, so I'm not doing terribly, but it drives me to madness that he's so persistent in that I should be striving for more at this point.

I'm so tired that I'm just trying to do the job that I have.